Mind blown. #cats #santaclaus #merrymeow

Holiday query from the Accidental Philosopher:

What’s the worst gift you’ve politely thanked someone for while your soul tried to escape? #christmasgift #thanksiguess

See? I told you I publish free stories on a regular basis—an hour or so after I said I would.

Promises made, promises kept. #marcorubio #fonts #MAGA

medium.com/@theaccident...

Billionaire-faced robo-dogs pooping AI prints at an "art show." This insane story is behind a pittance of a paywall, but stay in touch: I offer free crap, too. #art #elonmusk #jeffbezos #markzuckerberg #florida

medium.com/another-fuck...

🧠Accidental Wisdom from the Accidental Philosopher🧠

When Aunt Edna hands you her annual abomination (a fruitcake), say, "I appreciate a gift that reminds me that suffering is inevitable." #holidayadvice #fruitcake #christmas #presents

Good news, Blueskyers! This one is paywall-free, so now you can read about how an algorithm ruthlessly told me I’m old enough to have hosted a radio show in the 1940s. Thanks, Spotify, for the free humiliation. #SpotifyWrapped #yachtrock #music #humor #ageist

medium.com/crows-feet/s...

🧠Accidental Wisdom from the Accidental Philosopher🧠

When the cashier asks you to round up your total to help cross-eyed llamas in Peru, say, "Sorry, my phone only rounds down," and swipe. #llamadrama #grocerystorewisdom #lifehacks #retailhumor

He's gonna want to rename it "Trumpball." I can hear him now: "Everyone says it’s a terrific name. People weep when they hear it. The Founding Fathers would’ve loved it. Everyone knows that. The best people are saying it."

tinyurl.com/yz4an56m

When my wife tells me to act serious. #noncompliance

www.instagram.com/reel/DRzUvd3...

🥶 Feeling chilly? It's gonna get much chillier. The Stretched #PolarVortex is coming to test your winter game. Here’s a 3-min survival guide … behind a tiny Medium paywall (consider it an icebreaker donation). #winteriscoming #staywarm #babyitscoldoutthere #humor

medium.com/midknight-fa...

🧠Accidental Wisdom from the Accidental Philosopher🧠

Coffee is liquid optimism. One sip, and the world seems less dumb ... 30 steps outside and you reconsider. #coffee #brewedawaking #questionablewisdom #coffeebeforehumanity

🎵 🎵 Deck the halls with boughs of folly! 🎵 🎵 #MAGA #Trump #Hegseth #Noem #Bondi #Christmas

medium.com/doctor-funny...

I started hard to finally get healthy. #Thanksgiving went in harder. #foodiefails #overeating #christmasiscoming

medium.com/@theaccident...