Ann Arbor Pitchbot
@a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Grumpy townie since 1983. Sometimes parody is indistinguishable from reality. DM your pitches to pitchbot AT theinternetemail DOT com. they/them
The Ravens have fired John Harbaugh. Here's why that's bad news for Jim Harbaugh.
January 6, 2026 at 10:54 PM
The Ravens have fired John Harbaugh. Here's why that's bad news for Jim Harbaugh.
Opinion | Mayor Taylor is tall and handsome. Here’s why that’s a problem for Mayor Taylor. #a2council
#a2council IMO, there's nothing worse than being a bad poster, and creating a copypasta that starts off by saying you main op is tall and handsome is some bottom tier stuff.
January 2, 2026 at 7:18 PM
Opinion | Mayor Taylor is tall and handsome. Here’s why that’s a problem for Mayor Taylor. #a2council
Reposted by Ann Arbor Pitchbot
And there they came to Ypsilanti, and finding no room at the inn, laid the Child in swaddling cloths at the foot of the Water Tower. And before them appeared a Great Visage, who called out Fear Not! For I am Demetrius Ypsilantis and I bring you Tidings of Great Comfort and Joy.
December 25, 2025 at 11:01 PM
And there they came to Ypsilanti, and finding no room at the inn, laid the Child in swaddling cloths at the foot of the Water Tower. And before them appeared a Great Visage, who called out Fear Not! For I am Demetrius Ypsilantis and I bring you Tidings of Great Comfort and Joy.
And Joseph came with Mary, great with child, to Ann Arbor. But the Townies turned them away toward Ypsilanti, saying, "The city is full; it is not meet that every man should afford to dwell among us." And they were cast out, for there was no room for the poor in their sight. #a2council
December 25, 2025 at 10:46 PM
And Joseph came with Mary, great with child, to Ann Arbor. But the Townies turned them away toward Ypsilanti, saying, "The city is full; it is not meet that every man should afford to dwell among us." And they were cast out, for there was no room for the poor in their sight. #a2council
News Update | The city says it cut down a few trees in Liberty Plaza to address accessibility and safety concerns. But we spoke to MLive reporter Bryan Cranston, and he isn’t so sure. #a2council
by Bryan Cranston
by Bryan Cranston
December 24, 2025 at 12:49 AM
News Update | The city says it cut down a few trees in Liberty Plaza to address accessibility and safety concerns. But we spoke to MLive reporter Bryan Cranston, and he isn’t so sure. #a2council
by Bryan Cranston
by Bryan Cranston
At this Northside Diner it was a festivus tradition: an airing of grievances, nailing Pause the Plan signs to the historic facade of the building, and a meeting over bottomless coffee that wasn't allowed to end until a local landlord was pinned. Now, the woke mob is taking that all away. #a2council
December 23, 2025 at 4:04 PM
At this Northside Diner it was a festivus tradition: an airing of grievances, nailing Pause the Plan signs to the historic facade of the building, and a meeting over bottomless coffee that wasn't allowed to end until a local landlord was pinned. Now, the woke mob is taking that all away. #a2council
In this Ann Arbor diner, CBS is still synonymous with Dan Rather and Walter Cronkite. But they do know this: no first degree tree murder story can run in MLive unless it includes Alan Haber's side of the story. #a2council
December 23, 2025 at 3:32 PM
In this Ann Arbor diner, CBS is still synonymous with Dan Rather and Walter Cronkite. But they do know this: no first degree tree murder story can run in MLive unless it includes Alan Haber's side of the story. #a2council
Sherrone Moore has been fired by Michigan. Here's why that's an opportunity for Jim Harbaugh.
December 10, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Sherrone Moore has been fired by Michigan. Here's why that's an opportunity for Jim Harbaugh.
Traffic violence is among the best tools from the point of view of fighting gentrification. Dieting our roads to make them safe would be almost as bad as new market-rate housing, because it would attract new settler-colonialists due to the amenity effect. #a2council
December 10, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Traffic violence is among the best tools from the point of view of fighting gentrification. Dieting our roads to make them safe would be almost as bad as new market-rate housing, because it would attract new settler-colonialists due to the amenity effect. #a2council
My five-year old was reading Townie Facebook posts when she asked me gravely, “daddy why is Ann Arbaugh challenging local Reverend Donnell Wyche to ‘bring it on?’” When I told her, “because this is not a democracy, it’s a cheerocracy,” she started crying. #a2council
December 4, 2025 at 3:44 PM
My five-year old was reading Townie Facebook posts when she asked me gravely, “daddy why is Ann Arbaugh challenging local Reverend Donnell Wyche to ‘bring it on?’” When I told her, “because this is not a democracy, it’s a cheerocracy,” she started crying. #a2council
Opinion | Sherrone Moore has lost his first game to Ohio State. Here's why that's a problem for Jim Harbaugh.
November 29, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Opinion | Sherrone Moore has lost his first game to Ohio State. Here's why that's a problem for Jim Harbaugh.
Opinion | Start your snowblowers.
by James Q. Porkchop
by James Q. Porkchop
November 29, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Opinion | Start your snowblowers.
by James Q. Porkchop
by James Q. Porkchop
Mayor Taylor has announced that he's running for reelection. Here's why that's bad news for Mayor Taylor. #a2council
November 27, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Mayor Taylor has announced that he's running for reelection. Here's why that's bad news for Mayor Taylor. #a2council
Not enough room on your table for all those delicious thanksgiving sides? Maybe some of them should move to Ypsilanti. #a2council
November 27, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Not enough room on your table for all those delicious thanksgiving sides? Maybe some of them should move to Ypsilanti. #a2council
Need inspiration for your Thanksgiving dessert? This vanilla sheet cake from Costco, this ice cream cake from Baskin, or this German Chocolate blizzard from DQ will make you think you're a well-known local chef who has logged onto Nextdoor to ask where he can get a tres leches cake. #a2council
November 27, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Need inspiration for your Thanksgiving dessert? This vanilla sheet cake from Costco, this ice cream cake from Baskin, or this German Chocolate blizzard from DQ will make you think you're a well-known local chef who has logged onto Nextdoor to ask where he can get a tres leches cake. #a2council
This Thanksgiving we remember what we're truly thankful for—successfully preventing somebody from building a duplex in my neighborhood. #a2council
November 27, 2025 at 8:01 PM
This Thanksgiving we remember what we're truly thankful for—successfully preventing somebody from building a duplex in my neighborhood. #a2council
Opinion | I’m the sole proprietor of Ann Arbor’s third most popular political conspiracy blog. Whether Arbor South passes or fails tonight, it’s clear that the fix was in. #a2council
by Elizabeth Nelson
by Elizabeth Nelson
November 17, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Opinion | I’m the sole proprietor of Ann Arbor’s third most popular political conspiracy blog. Whether Arbor South passes or fails tonight, it’s clear that the fix was in. #a2council
by Elizabeth Nelson
by Elizabeth Nelson
Opinion | The majestic Edmund Fitzgerald disappeared beneath the waves 50 years ago, never to be seen again. Two years ago, the majestic Elbel Field was plowed over to build a dorm. Was this our Edmund Fitzgerald? #a2council
by James Q Porkchop
by James Q Porkchop
November 10, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Opinion | The majestic Edmund Fitzgerald disappeared beneath the waves 50 years ago, never to be seen again. Two years ago, the majestic Elbel Field was plowed over to build a dorm. Was this our Edmund Fitzgerald? #a2council
by James Q Porkchop
by James Q Porkchop
Donald Trump’s immigration policy has heartlessly closed the doors of American opportunity to millions. But if Mayor Taylor lets someone build a triplex near my $1.2M LoBuPa house, I’ll have no choice but to vote for Donald Trump for a fourth time. #a2council
November 8, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Donald Trump’s immigration policy has heartlessly closed the doors of American opportunity to millions. But if Mayor Taylor lets someone build a triplex near my $1.2M LoBuPa house, I’ll have no choice but to vote for Donald Trump for a fourth time. #a2council
My 19-year-old was reading #a2council when she turned to me gravely and asked "mom, why did Kathy Griswold shit her pants?" And when I told her "because her taxes went up $100 to pay for public schools," she started crying.
just read this to my 19yo and I think she was reaching for "cutting off your nose to spite your face" but she said "shitting in your pants to make the neighbor smell it" which...is accurate?
November 8, 2025 at 9:26 PM
My 19-year-old was reading #a2council when she turned to me gravely and asked "mom, why did Kathy Griswold shit her pants?" And when I told her "because her taxes went up $100 to pay for public schools," she started crying.
Spending thousands of dollars, which I don’t have, to fight tax increases that cost hundreds of dollars, which I also don’t have, is important to prevent shitlibs like Chris Taylor from making local government more effective, which I do not support. #a2council
by Kathy Griswold
by Kathy Griswold
November 7, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Spending thousands of dollars, which I don’t have, to fight tax increases that cost hundreds of dollars, which I also don’t have, is important to prevent shitlibs like Chris Taylor from making local government more effective, which I do not support. #a2council
by Kathy Griswold
by Kathy Griswold
Kathy Griswold to join the Weiser Center for Eroding Democracies #a2council
November 5, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Kathy Griswold to join the Weiser Center for Eroding Democracies #a2council
I’m a lifelong democrat. But if anyone tries to raise my taxes to pay for schools, libraries, or sidewalks, I will be forced to campaign with Republicans for the fifth consecutive election cycle. #a2council
by Kathy Griswold
by Kathy Griswold
November 4, 2025 at 1:07 AM
I’m a lifelong democrat. But if anyone tries to raise my taxes to pay for schools, libraries, or sidewalks, I will be forced to campaign with Republicans for the fifth consecutive election cycle. #a2council
by Kathy Griswold
by Kathy Griswold