Ann Arbor Pitchbot
@a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Grumpy townie since 1983. Sometimes parody is indistinguishable from reality. DM your pitches to pitchbot AT theinternetemail DOT com. they/them
My five year old was paging through the Observer when he asked me gravely, “daddy, what does ‘from the windows, to the walls’ mean?” When I told him, “till all skeet-skeet, motherfucker!,” he started crying. #a2council
November 4, 2025 at 12:12 AM
My five year old was paging through the Observer when he asked me gravely, “daddy, what does ‘from the windows, to the walls’ mean?” When I told him, “till all skeet-skeet, motherfucker!,” he started crying. #a2council
BREAKING | Mayor Taylor seen preparing to distribute candy in order to corruptly influence future voters. #a2council
October 31, 2025 at 7:55 PM
BREAKING | Mayor Taylor seen preparing to distribute candy in order to corruptly influence future voters. #a2council
BREAKING | Photographic evidence reveals how Neighbors for More Neighbors A2 corruptly influenced Democratic officials to embrace pro-housing reforms. #a2council
October 28, 2025 at 9:28 PM
BREAKING | Photographic evidence reveals how Neighbors for More Neighbors A2 corruptly influenced Democratic officials to embrace pro-housing reforms. #a2council
16. I'm voting no because I'm just a stupid voter. #a2council
August 4, 2025 at 1:57 PM
16. I'm voting no because I'm just a stupid voter. #a2council
Opinion | I am normal and can be trusted at a library. #a2council
July 25, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Opinion | I am normal and can be trusted at a library. #a2council
All together now, you know the song #a2council
December 24, 2024 at 8:16 PM
All together now, you know the song #a2council
Midwestern nice means never having to say "hey, I saw your skeet." #a2council
November 25, 2024 at 9:04 PM
Midwestern nice means never having to say "hey, I saw your skeet." #a2council
Opinion | FUCK YOU ELON MUSK!!!
November 15, 2024 at 8:33 PM
Opinion | FUCK YOU ELON MUSK!!!
If you're looking for advice on how to successfully execute a palace coup, look no further than Ann Arbor's own Christopher Taylor. #a2council
November 14, 2024 at 6:54 PM
If you're looking for advice on how to successfully execute a palace coup, look no further than Ann Arbor's own Christopher Taylor. #a2council
I was a lifelong progressive Democrat. But then the Lieutenant Governor of Michigan opposed a ballot measure funded by landlords and Republicans, so now I'm voting for Jill Stein for a third time. #a2council
November 1, 2024 at 1:50 PM
I was a lifelong progressive Democrat. But then the Lieutenant Governor of Michigan opposed a ballot measure funded by landlords and Republicans, so now I'm voting for Jill Stein for a third time. #a2council
Opinion | If you agree with me you are smart. If you disagree with me you are dumb and pitiful. #a2council
October 29, 2024 at 8:17 PM
Opinion | If you agree with me you are smart. If you disagree with me you are dumb and pitiful. #a2council
It is alarming how many people are easily fooled by glossy flyers full of misinformation funded by landlords and republicans that are illegally glued to public property at midnight by disgruntled former #a2council members. This is not ok.
October 26, 2024 at 4:31 PM
It is alarming how many people are easily fooled by glossy flyers full of misinformation funded by landlords and republicans that are illegally glued to public property at midnight by disgruntled former #a2council members. This is not ok.
Opinion | You might think of an out-of-town landlord as an “out-of-town landlord.” But you would be missing the essence of that person’s essential essences. #a2council
October 21, 2024 at 7:49 PM
Opinion | You might think of an out-of-town landlord as an “out-of-town landlord.” But you would be missing the essence of that person’s essential essences. #a2council
Opinion | I live in fear of posting something that isn’t true. Here’s an 800 word blog post falsely accusing my former council colleagues of taking bribes. #a2council
by Elizabeth Nelson
by Elizabeth Nelson
October 21, 2024 at 1:12 AM
Opinion | I live in fear of posting something that isn’t true. Here’s an 800 word blog post falsely accusing my former council colleagues of taking bribes. #a2council
by Elizabeth Nelson
by Elizabeth Nelson
Shitposting, which I do not support, is way worse than lying about elections on TikTok in order to elect Republicans, who I do support. #a2council
by Elizabeth Nelson
by Elizabeth Nelson
September 12, 2024 at 4:28 PM
Shitposting, which I do not support, is way worse than lying about elections on TikTok in order to elect Republicans, who I do support. #a2council
by Elizabeth Nelson
by Elizabeth Nelson
Why Jeanice Swift should be Kamala Harris's VP #a2schoolboard
July 23, 2024 at 6:08 PM
Why Jeanice Swift should be Kamala Harris's VP #a2schoolboard
Why Mayor Taylor should be Kamala Harris's VP #a2council
July 23, 2024 at 6:05 PM
Why Mayor Taylor should be Kamala Harris's VP #a2council
While out with my family, we saw the AADL adverts on AAATA buses, and I couldn't believe it. Drake's! Of course, my kids thought it was Drake the artist. They started to cry when I explained it was a sandwich shop that closed in 1993, marking the downturn of Ann Arbor. #a2council
June 8, 2024 at 5:20 PM
While out with my family, we saw the AADL adverts on AAATA buses, and I couldn't believe it. Drake's! Of course, my kids thought it was Drake the artist. They started to cry when I explained it was a sandwich shop that closed in 1993, marking the downturn of Ann Arbor. #a2council
If Mayor Taylor is serious about unity, he will put a worm into his own brain. #a2council
May 9, 2024 at 1:29 PM
If Mayor Taylor is serious about unity, he will put a worm into his own brain. #a2council
Is the University of Michigan safe for Jewish students? We talked to a billionaire alumnus who lives in Florida and a 65-year-old holocaust denier who has picketed a synagogue every Saturday for the past 20 years.
April 29, 2024 at 7:46 PM
Is the University of Michigan safe for Jewish students? We talked to a billionaire alumnus who lives in Florida and a 65-year-old holocaust denier who has picketed a synagogue every Saturday for the past 20 years.
The Editorial Board | This esteemed news organization would never develop an online correspondence with, or share posts suggested by, The Mayor And His Allies. #a2council
April 26, 2024 at 2:32 PM
The Editorial Board | This esteemed news organization would never develop an online correspondence with, or share posts suggested by, The Mayor And His Allies. #a2council
It’s crazy they can't find some balance. The credit union next to the library is about get knocked down for a monster student high rise. We'll have to goto downtown ypsi to find the charm. #a2council
February 16, 2024 at 7:42 PM
It’s crazy they can't find some balance. The credit union next to the library is about get knocked down for a monster student high rise. We'll have to goto downtown ypsi to find the charm. #a2council