"Patience is a virtue. I just forgot to put the lid back on the can so it evaporated over time..."
It's something that popped into my mind.
11:03 a.m. · 30 nov. 2019
#oldtweet
It's something that popped into my mind.
11:03 a.m. · 30 nov. 2019
#oldtweet
June 21, 2025 at 11:39 AM
"Patience is a virtue. I just forgot to put the lid back on the can so it evaporated over time..."
It's something that popped into my mind.
11:03 a.m. · 30 nov. 2019
#oldtweet
It's something that popped into my mind.
11:03 a.m. · 30 nov. 2019
#oldtweet
A lesser known phrase muttered by Julius Ceasar in the year 47 BC before the short war against Pharnaces II of Pontus at the Battle of Zela: "Veni, vidi, cadere...".
"I came, I saw, I fell on my face."
#roman #humor #latin #JuliusCeasar
10:02 p.m. · 9 mrt. 2018
#oldtweet #dadjoke
"I came, I saw, I fell on my face."
#roman #humor #latin #JuliusCeasar
10:02 p.m. · 9 mrt. 2018
#oldtweet #dadjoke
June 7, 2025 at 6:57 PM
"Don't you dare lye to me!" "I'm not! It clearly says here "All your base belong to us"! See?" #chemistry #pun
10:46 p.m. · 28 mei 2018
#oldtweet #dadjoke
10:46 p.m. · 28 mei 2018
#oldtweet #dadjoke
June 7, 2025 at 6:48 PM
"Don't you dare lye to me!" "I'm not! It clearly says here "All your base belong to us"! See?" #chemistry #pun
10:46 p.m. · 28 mei 2018
#oldtweet #dadjoke
10:46 p.m. · 28 mei 2018
#oldtweet #dadjoke
"Bei Risiken und Nebenwirkungen essen Sie die Packungsbeilage oder tragen Sie ihren Arzt zum Apotheker." Hätte ich schon mal bei einen Internet Radio Sendung gehört...
7:41 p.m. · 8 may 2018
#oldtweet #Furry8000
7:41 p.m. · 8 may 2018
#oldtweet #Furry8000
May 27, 2025 at 4:49 PM
"Bei Risiken und Nebenwirkungen essen Sie die Packungsbeilage oder tragen Sie ihren Arzt zum Apotheker." Hätte ich schon mal bei einen Internet Radio Sendung gehört...
7:41 p.m. · 8 may 2018
#oldtweet #Furry8000
7:41 p.m. · 8 may 2018
#oldtweet #Furry8000
Some people shouldn't be allowed to breed anymore. If you're wasting my time by telling me that you have a baby in the car that needs to eat while I'm trying to open the gate to let you and everybody else out, you're not brainiac material! #rant
6:39 p.m. · 21 may 2018
#oldtweet
6:39 p.m. · 21 may 2018
#oldtweet
May 27, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Normies on the left side
Fursuiters on the right
Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you
#AlternativeSonglyrics #furries
11:16 a.m. · 21 jul. 2018
#oldtweet
Fursuiters on the right
Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you
#AlternativeSonglyrics #furries
11:16 a.m. · 21 jul. 2018
#oldtweet
May 27, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Normies on the left side
Fursuiters on the right
Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you
#AlternativeSonglyrics #furries
11:16 a.m. · 21 jul. 2018
#oldtweet
Fursuiters on the right
Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you
#AlternativeSonglyrics #furries
11:16 a.m. · 21 jul. 2018
#oldtweet
In high school in Garland, #texas in 1999, I was late for class three times and got sent to the principal's office for a paddling. It was so uncalled for and gross. It did nothing but embarrass me. I am still tardy all the time!
#oldtweet from 8/26/22 (OG link was a paywall @washingtonpost.com)
#oldtweet from 8/26/22 (OG link was a paywall @washingtonpost.com)
An East Texas principal was arrested after paddling a student, renewing debate over corporal punishment
Texas is one of 17 states that still permits hitting, spanking and paddling in schools. Republican lawmakers stood by the practice earlier this year in part because they say it was permitted in the Bi...
www.texastribune.org
May 27, 2025 at 1:55 AM
In high school in Garland, #texas in 1999, I was late for class three times and got sent to the principal's office for a paddling. It was so uncalled for and gross. It did nothing but embarrass me. I am still tardy all the time!
#oldtweet from 8/26/22 (OG link was a paywall @washingtonpost.com)
#oldtweet from 8/26/22 (OG link was a paywall @washingtonpost.com)
I'm in an episode of this on @primevideo.bsky.social. The one with the goat. Do I mean the G.O.A.T? No. I mean A #goat
- #oldtweet from October 21, 2020
- #oldtweet from October 21, 2020
Gary Busey Pet Judge (2020) | Official Trailer HD
YouTube video by 1091 Pictures
www.youtube.com
May 15, 2025 at 4:21 PM
I'm in an episode of this on @primevideo.bsky.social. The one with the goat. Do I mean the G.O.A.T? No. I mean A #goat
- #oldtweet from October 21, 2020
- #oldtweet from October 21, 2020
January 24, 2021
I planted a cherry and pomegranate tree in the yard. 🍒 Then immediately sprained my ankle. 🦶 #sundayvibes #shittygardener
---------
An update on this 4 year #oldtweet : The cherry tree has yet to produce shit, but the pomegranite yields like 4 or 5 pommies. Success!
I planted a cherry and pomegranate tree in the yard. 🍒 Then immediately sprained my ankle. 🦶 #sundayvibes #shittygardener
---------
An update on this 4 year #oldtweet : The cherry tree has yet to produce shit, but the pomegranite yields like 4 or 5 pommies. Success!
May 14, 2025 at 9:36 PM
January 24, 2021
I planted a cherry and pomegranate tree in the yard. 🍒 Then immediately sprained my ankle. 🦶 #sundayvibes #shittygardener
---------
An update on this 4 year #oldtweet : The cherry tree has yet to produce shit, but the pomegranite yields like 4 or 5 pommies. Success!
I planted a cherry and pomegranate tree in the yard. 🍒 Then immediately sprained my ankle. 🦶 #sundayvibes #shittygardener
---------
An update on this 4 year #oldtweet : The cherry tree has yet to produce shit, but the pomegranite yields like 4 or 5 pommies. Success!
August 8, 2021
"Kudos to NBC Olympics for making profiles that tug on my dark black heartstrings every goddamn time. 😢🖤"
I'm such a sucker for the Olympics and the John Williams score
#oldtweet
"Kudos to NBC Olympics for making profiles that tug on my dark black heartstrings every goddamn time. 😢🖤"
I'm such a sucker for the Olympics and the John Williams score
#oldtweet
May 10, 2025 at 1:40 AM
August 8, 2021
"Kudos to NBC Olympics for making profiles that tug on my dark black heartstrings every goddamn time. 😢🖤"
I'm such a sucker for the Olympics and the John Williams score
#oldtweet
"Kudos to NBC Olympics for making profiles that tug on my dark black heartstrings every goddamn time. 😢🖤"
I'm such a sucker for the Olympics and the John Williams score
#oldtweet
April 27, 2025 at 6:33 PM
I stick my head around the corner, my girlfriend notices me and says
"Your head snakes around the corner, what do you want?"
"Hisssssssssssssss"
*snort*
#goodmorning #humor
6:42 a.m. · 28 feb. 2019
#oldtweet
"Your head snakes around the corner, what do you want?"
"Hisssssssssssssss"
*snort*
#goodmorning #humor
6:42 a.m. · 28 feb. 2019
#oldtweet
April 23, 2025 at 7:49 PM
I stick my head around the corner, my girlfriend notices me and says
"Your head snakes around the corner, what do you want?"
"Hisssssssssssssss"
*snort*
#goodmorning #humor
6:42 a.m. · 28 feb. 2019
#oldtweet
"Your head snakes around the corner, what do you want?"
"Hisssssssssssssss"
*snort*
#goodmorning #humor
6:42 a.m. · 28 feb. 2019
#oldtweet
Zit je 's morgens rustig aan de koffie, krijg je, waar iedereen bij is, een vast contract in je handen gedrukt!
5:49 p.m. · 6 jul. 2021
#oldtweet
5:49 p.m. · 6 jul. 2021
#oldtweet
February 19, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Zit je 's morgens rustig aan de koffie, krijg je, waar iedereen bij is, een vast contract in je handen gedrukt!
5:49 p.m. · 6 jul. 2021
#oldtweet
5:49 p.m. · 6 jul. 2021
#oldtweet
I don't want to generalize newbies, but when someone is in the middle of a role play and you poke them with questions like "Hi, how are you?" and "Where are you from?" they deserve a special place in hell... #SecondLife #Rude
11:48 p.m. · 1 sep. 2018
#oldtweet
11:48 p.m. · 1 sep. 2018
#oldtweet
February 15, 2025 at 11:40 AM
I don't want to generalize newbies, but when someone is in the middle of a role play and you poke them with questions like "Hi, how are you?" and "Where are you from?" they deserve a special place in hell... #SecondLife #Rude
11:48 p.m. · 1 sep. 2018
#oldtweet
11:48 p.m. · 1 sep. 2018
#oldtweet
Als je bij La Place Bloemheuvel Veenendaal komt dan kan ik de perenbollen aanraden! Die zijn echt super lekker! Het restaurant zit aan de A12.
#LaPlace #Bloemheuvel #Veenendaal
4:08 p.m. · 11 nov. 2018
#oldtweet
#LaPlace #Bloemheuvel #Veenendaal
4:08 p.m. · 11 nov. 2018
#oldtweet
February 15, 2025 at 11:04 AM
Als je bij La Place Bloemheuvel Veenendaal komt dan kan ik de perenbollen aanraden! Die zijn echt super lekker! Het restaurant zit aan de A12.
#LaPlace #Bloemheuvel #Veenendaal
4:08 p.m. · 11 nov. 2018
#oldtweet
#LaPlace #Bloemheuvel #Veenendaal
4:08 p.m. · 11 nov. 2018
#oldtweet
Funny when you find out someone in the fandom blocked you while you were only mentioned in side chat about ONCE.
Furry fandom, you're not as accepting as I remember you...
12:18 a.m. · 9 mrt. 2019
#oldtweet
Furry fandom, you're not as accepting as I remember you...
12:18 a.m. · 9 mrt. 2019
#oldtweet
February 4, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Funny when you find out someone in the fandom blocked you while you were only mentioned in side chat about ONCE.
Furry fandom, you're not as accepting as I remember you...
12:18 a.m. · 9 mrt. 2019
#oldtweet
Furry fandom, you're not as accepting as I remember you...
12:18 a.m. · 9 mrt. 2019
#oldtweet
Telling my girlfriend everybody is stashing on toilet paper and her reply is "Well if people stop going to Mickey D's they wouldn't need toilet paper so much."
I've got nothing to add to that.
#coronavirus #toiletpaper
6:57 p.m. · 18 mrt. 2020
#oldtweet
I've got nothing to add to that.
#coronavirus #toiletpaper
6:57 p.m. · 18 mrt. 2020
#oldtweet
February 4, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Telling my girlfriend everybody is stashing on toilet paper and her reply is "Well if people stop going to Mickey D's they wouldn't need toilet paper so much."
I've got nothing to add to that.
#coronavirus #toiletpaper
6:57 p.m. · 18 mrt. 2020
#oldtweet
I've got nothing to add to that.
#coronavirus #toiletpaper
6:57 p.m. · 18 mrt. 2020
#oldtweet
Sociale isolatie.
Ophokplicht voor klapvee.
Niet eentje van #Loesje, maar van mezelf.
#COVID2019
1:29 p.m. · 26 mrt. 2020
#oldtweet
Ophokplicht voor klapvee.
Niet eentje van #Loesje, maar van mezelf.
#COVID2019
1:29 p.m. · 26 mrt. 2020
#oldtweet
February 4, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Sociale isolatie.
Ophokplicht voor klapvee.
Niet eentje van #Loesje, maar van mezelf.
#COVID2019
1:29 p.m. · 26 mrt. 2020
#oldtweet
Ophokplicht voor klapvee.
Niet eentje van #Loesje, maar van mezelf.
#COVID2019
1:29 p.m. · 26 mrt. 2020
#oldtweet
GF: "I gotta bring you a noife."
Me: "I got a noife!"
GF: "You call that a noife?"
I miss Crocodile Dundee.
2:32 p.m. · 23 apr. 2020
#CrocodileDundee #oldtweet
Me: "I got a noife!"
GF: "You call that a noife?"
I miss Crocodile Dundee.
2:32 p.m. · 23 apr. 2020
#CrocodileDundee #oldtweet
February 4, 2025 at 4:53 PM
GF: "I gotta bring you a noife."
Me: "I got a noife!"
GF: "You call that a noife?"
I miss Crocodile Dundee.
2:32 p.m. · 23 apr. 2020
#CrocodileDundee #oldtweet
Me: "I got a noife!"
GF: "You call that a noife?"
I miss Crocodile Dundee.
2:32 p.m. · 23 apr. 2020
#CrocodileDundee #oldtweet
Me: "That's a wrap."
GF: "Motherf*cker motherf*cker motherf*cker."
Me: "Huh?"
GF: "Rap?"
Me: "No, wrap. Wrap as in: legs wrapped around me."
GF: "Oh."
#mishearing #wrap
3:28 p.m. · 7 jun. 2020
#oldtweet
GF: "Motherf*cker motherf*cker motherf*cker."
Me: "Huh?"
GF: "Rap?"
Me: "No, wrap. Wrap as in: legs wrapped around me."
GF: "Oh."
#mishearing #wrap
3:28 p.m. · 7 jun. 2020
#oldtweet
February 4, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Me: "That's a wrap."
GF: "Motherf*cker motherf*cker motherf*cker."
Me: "Huh?"
GF: "Rap?"
Me: "No, wrap. Wrap as in: legs wrapped around me."
GF: "Oh."
#mishearing #wrap
3:28 p.m. · 7 jun. 2020
#oldtweet
GF: "Motherf*cker motherf*cker motherf*cker."
Me: "Huh?"
GF: "Rap?"
Me: "No, wrap. Wrap as in: legs wrapped around me."
GF: "Oh."
#mishearing #wrap
3:28 p.m. · 7 jun. 2020
#oldtweet