I don’t have friends “across the aisle” anymore, and I don’t talk to my conservative relatives.

I can’t be friendly with someone who thinks people like me (Queer/trans/nonbinary, immigrant family, pro-choice) shouldn’t have human rights. It’s not a matter of “opinion.” It’s about morality & values.

But we’re not going to solve the problem by shaming each other. That will never work.

Anyway, if you have an AO3 account, go read my Cartinelli fics and tell me if they’re any good.

I’ve done 3. Out of 99 published works.

Because I’m afraid. And ashamed. And I’m tired of it.

I’m rambling at this point.

I guess I’m just saying, “There’s more m/m fic than f/f fic because people hate women” is reductive. It’s missing the point.

Why does fandom have an f/f problem? Is it because female characters are written badly, or because we hate our own skin?

Maybe it’s both.

I guess that’s misogyny, too. Internalized misogyny.

And there are a lot of straight women writing fic, because straight people are the majority, even if I don’t personally know any. 😏

Maybe they can’t fathom f/f relationships because their own relationships with their bodies are uncomfortable.

So is it laziness? Fear of causing offense?

Shame? Because so often vulvas are referred to/seen/treated as shameful. I still know people with vulvas in C.E. 2025 (2026) that have never looked at their own junk, masturbated by touching it, who think of it as unattractive and unworthy of admiration.

Now, dgmw, I’ve seen people who argue that only “dick” should be used in smut and that “cock” is reflective of a specific culture (white people), but generally with penises it’s easier to avoid squicking people out.

It’s a little easier when writing f/m with cis people because assuming penetrative sex you can always refer to Slot B with allusions. But in f/f? When there’s (presumably) two of them? It’s harder to avoid the vocabulary issue.

“Pussy” is for joking with friends, and I’m from the US where people still refer to it as “the c-word” half the time and it is most often used colloquially as a harder misogynistic slur than “bitch.”

Scientific terms are unsexy.

Pretty much everything else makes me queasy.

An author gets stuck.

It’s like. Most of them are so common. My favorite replies (on tumblr) are the 100 or so people responding with

The “Jesus Saves” thing comes up every fucking day because I live in the Bible Belt.