Zach Peterson
@zeepers.bsky.social
I live in a ditch
I move at the speed of business
Part of God’s empty promise
“Comedian”
I move at the speed of business
Part of God’s empty promise
“Comedian”
“I don’t have a favorite frozen pizza” is just bragging about growing up with married parents.
October 25, 2025 at 5:12 AM
“I don’t have a favorite frozen pizza” is just bragging about growing up with married parents.
Heaven can’t be crowded, because if it was, it wouldn’t be heaven.
October 20, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Heaven can’t be crowded, because if it was, it wouldn’t be heaven.
Those people talk like parents whose kids went no contact.
Vance goes after NYC mayoral hopeful Mamdani: ‘He should show more gratitude to the United States’
Vance goes after NYC mayor hopeful Mamdani for not showing ‘gratitude’ to the US
www.independent.co.uk
August 30, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Those people talk like parents whose kids went no contact.
Reposted by Zach Peterson
New album out today on @aspecialthing.bsky.social Thank you to everyone who ever gave me stage time, everyone who ever laughed, everyone who ever recoiled, the sun, the moon and the stars
lnk.to/yellsatcrowd...
lnk.to/yellsatcrowd...
James Fritz - Old Man Yells at Crowd
Listen to Old Man Yells at Crowd by James Fritz.
lnk.to
July 26, 2025 at 12:06 AM
New album out today on @aspecialthing.bsky.social Thank you to everyone who ever gave me stage time, everyone who ever laughed, everyone who ever recoiled, the sun, the moon and the stars
lnk.to/yellsatcrowd...
lnk.to/yellsatcrowd...
Idea for a restaurant: Benihana but instead of a hibachi grill, we have a George Foreman grill that is manned by a shirtless guy in boxing gloves that entertains the table.
July 24, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Idea for a restaurant: Benihana but instead of a hibachi grill, we have a George Foreman grill that is manned by a shirtless guy in boxing gloves that entertains the table.
Sorry for interrupting you opening your lootcrate but you have to sign these custody papers.
July 21, 2025 at 5:47 AM
Sorry for interrupting you opening your lootcrate but you have to sign these custody papers.
Never do I feel more like an entitled prick than when an automatic door doesn’t open
June 26, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Never do I feel more like an entitled prick than when an automatic door doesn’t open
Radishes taste like hot dirt.
June 23, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Radishes taste like hot dirt.
Reposted by Zach Peterson
Turnstile sounds like if Snapcase started taking their meds.
June 19, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Turnstile sounds like if Snapcase started taking their meds.
I bet being dead feels exactly like scrolling on your phone.
June 11, 2025 at 9:54 PM
I bet being dead feels exactly like scrolling on your phone.
A movie about the dog who is best at sitting: Chair Bud.
June 9, 2025 at 12:52 AM
A movie about the dog who is best at sitting: Chair Bud.
We should invest in high speed rail, the murder mysteries alone justifies the time, effort and money.
June 6, 2025 at 7:44 PM
We should invest in high speed rail, the murder mysteries alone justifies the time, effort and money.
Sure, they may not do the best job, but you can’t beat the price of circumcisions at sports clips
June 1, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Sure, they may not do the best job, but you can’t beat the price of circumcisions at sports clips
Hello? Hello? Is this the hotline I call to report my wife being careless with a bag of tortilla chip, so now they are in such small pieces that I look like I’m testing cocaine to make sure it’s real on my gums, when I eat them?
May 19, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Hello? Hello? Is this the hotline I call to report my wife being careless with a bag of tortilla chip, so now they are in such small pieces that I look like I’m testing cocaine to make sure it’s real on my gums, when I eat them?
Sorry guys I have to log off. I gotta go take my dick hole medicine.
May 14, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Sorry guys I have to log off. I gotta go take my dick hole medicine.
Zuck: the average American has three friends.
May 2, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Zuck: the average American has three friends.
It’s financial literacy month. so time to teach some money to read.
May 1, 2025 at 5:12 AM
It’s financial literacy month. so time to teach some money to read.
Frankenstein’s monster truck.
April 25, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Frankenstein’s monster truck.
Omaha!! Thursday and Friday!!
April 22, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Omaha!! Thursday and Friday!!
Omaha!! Thursday and Friday!!
April 22, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Omaha!! Thursday and Friday!!
How long do you have to be in an escape room to claim squatter’s rights?
April 18, 2025 at 2:45 AM
How long do you have to be in an escape room to claim squatter’s rights?
I think if I ever tried lean or model trains it would be all I ever talked about.
April 13, 2025 at 4:21 AM
I think if I ever tried lean or model trains it would be all I ever talked about.
Still talking about the same thing - because it makes content and I’m supposed to make that.
#standupcomedy #funkopop #vhs #vhstapes #whocares
#standupcomedy #funkopop #vhs #vhstapes #whocares
March 27, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Still talking about the same thing - because it makes content and I’m supposed to make that.
#standupcomedy #funkopop #vhs #vhstapes #whocares
#standupcomedy #funkopop #vhs #vhstapes #whocares
Orange Theory hasn’t been peer reviewed.
March 26, 2025 at 4:24 AM
Orange Theory hasn’t been peer reviewed.