Zach Allyn
@zballyn.bsky.social
Cheesemonger, cook, trumpet player, teacher, father, husband, lefty, not necessarily in that order. He/him
I was working retail during the first Trump administration, and I was told by a customer on no uncertain terms that we had won the War on Christmas and could say “Merry Christmas” again because Trump said so.
December 1, 2025 at 2:55 PM
I was working retail during the first Trump administration, and I was told by a customer on no uncertain terms that we had won the War on Christmas and could say “Merry Christmas” again because Trump said so.
Need someone in that office to get MESSY on Slack.
December 1, 2025 at 12:41 AM
Need someone in that office to get MESSY on Slack.
I’m not judging. It comes part and parcel with striving for perfection. I’ve bought into it myself at times in my life. However, it is not a model for longevity.
December 1, 2025 at 12:40 AM
I’m not judging. It comes part and parcel with striving for perfection. I’ve bought into it myself at times in my life. However, it is not a model for longevity.
Ask an athlete at a decently high level if they’ve ever used/heard the term “sacrifice the body,” and you will get a unanimous yes.
December 1, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Ask an athlete at a decently high level if they’ve ever used/heard the term “sacrifice the body,” and you will get a unanimous yes.
Just have to get out there and say…hi? What’s up?
December 1, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Just have to get out there and say…hi? What’s up?
I was trying to make my six-year-old understand this, but kids truly do not understand the concept of someone running at you so hard that you can’t do certain things for the rest of your life after.
December 1, 2025 at 12:30 AM
I was trying to make my six-year-old understand this, but kids truly do not understand the concept of someone running at you so hard that you can’t do certain things for the rest of your life after.
Sure, you’ve heard of Bad Dragon, but have you ever heard of Rude Goldberg?
November 28, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Sure, you’ve heard of Bad Dragon, but have you ever heard of Rude Goldberg?
There’s a spirit type of trumpet player who looks at their horn like it’s the instrument’s fault whenever they mess up. Same thing.
November 28, 2025 at 1:02 AM
There’s a spirit type of trumpet player who looks at their horn like it’s the instrument’s fault whenever they mess up. Same thing.
LD Bell is incredible! Check out their 2004 show, which is entirely based around the lullaby theme from Pan’s Labyrinth.
November 27, 2025 at 4:37 PM
LD Bell is incredible! Check out their 2004 show, which is entirely based around the lullaby theme from Pan’s Labyrinth.
Highly recommend A Little to the Left, which is a puzzle switch game in the same vein. Organize household items in pleasing ways.
November 27, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Highly recommend A Little to the Left, which is a puzzle switch game in the same vein. Organize household items in pleasing ways.
My exact reaction to this.
a woman is making a funny face while looking at the camera .
ALT: a woman is making a funny face while looking at the camera .
media.tenor.com
November 26, 2025 at 7:06 PM
My exact reaction to this.
Oh, I know who he is. Sometimes these people just find new lows to which I didn’t realize they could sink.
November 24, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Oh, I know who he is. Sometimes these people just find new lows to which I didn’t realize they could sink.
He actually said this? Jesus.
November 24, 2025 at 1:50 AM
He actually said this? Jesus.
This is fake. Right? Surely. I don’t have Twitter anymore, so I can’t verify.
November 23, 2025 at 11:16 PM
This is fake. Right? Surely. I don’t have Twitter anymore, so I can’t verify.
Bring me the black jelly beans, mother.
November 22, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Bring me the black jelly beans, mother.
Damn, that was fast! 😂
November 20, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Damn, that was fast! 😂
The final form of “Why should I change my name? He’s the one who sucks.”
November 20, 2025 at 12:47 AM
The final form of “Why should I change my name? He’s the one who sucks.”