What if a smart guy was really stupid.
May 20, 2025 at 1:21 AM
What if a smart guy was really stupid.
Pain killers? No no, these are my nightmare pills.
April 29, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Pain killers? No no, these are my nightmare pills.
* trainees somewhere listening to a call with me used for training purposes *
oh wow, this guy sounds really cool. i did not know these random deep sea squid facts.
oh wow, this guy sounds really cool. i did not know these random deep sea squid facts.
April 29, 2025 at 4:48 AM
* trainees somewhere listening to a call with me used for training purposes *
oh wow, this guy sounds really cool. i did not know these random deep sea squid facts.
oh wow, this guy sounds really cool. i did not know these random deep sea squid facts.
Says here on your resume that you spent 500 years as an undead super fiend from another dimension?
Yeah! I was the mortal enemy of a psychopathic legion of motorcycle monkeys called the “Banana Gang”.
Yeah! I was the mortal enemy of a psychopathic legion of motorcycle monkeys called the “Banana Gang”.
April 27, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Says here on your resume that you spent 500 years as an undead super fiend from another dimension?
Yeah! I was the mortal enemy of a psychopathic legion of motorcycle monkeys called the “Banana Gang”.
Yeah! I was the mortal enemy of a psychopathic legion of motorcycle monkeys called the “Banana Gang”.
The ladies love my melted butter smell.
April 27, 2025 at 10:12 AM
The ladies love my melted butter smell.
Ever have the sky suddenly lower itself and crush you? Surprise! I put you in the garbage compactor dimension, idiot!
April 25, 2025 at 5:51 AM
Ever have the sky suddenly lower itself and crush you? Surprise! I put you in the garbage compactor dimension, idiot!
Name: The Rat Man.
Super powers: eating cheese and solving electrified labyrinths.
Super powers: eating cheese and solving electrified labyrinths.
April 20, 2025 at 10:29 AM
Name: The Rat Man.
Super powers: eating cheese and solving electrified labyrinths.
Super powers: eating cheese and solving electrified labyrinths.
They call them ladybugs because back in ancient times ladies actually looked like this.
April 17, 2025 at 11:45 AM
They call them ladybugs because back in ancient times ladies actually looked like this.
Another glorious day of filling and emptying my beautiful bladder with nutritious and savoury tap water.
April 16, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Another glorious day of filling and emptying my beautiful bladder with nutritious and savoury tap water.
If i was a crow, i would try to find tiny pants to wear so everyone would know what a cool crow i was.
April 14, 2025 at 8:17 AM
If i was a crow, i would try to find tiny pants to wear so everyone would know what a cool crow i was.
Reposted by YWIR
hot dog implies cold cat
April 14, 2025 at 7:32 AM
hot dog implies cold cat
Big Dog is getting big sick again! Time to drink bad coffee from a giant measuring cup while on the toilet fully nude! Awooooo!
April 10, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Big Dog is getting big sick again! Time to drink bad coffee from a giant measuring cup while on the toilet fully nude! Awooooo!
Job? Let’s just say i am a bullet proof colossus that is also a werewolf.
April 10, 2025 at 5:33 AM
Job? Let’s just say i am a bullet proof colossus that is also a werewolf.
Tortoise maxing, my dudes. Getting really big and slow and my head looks like a dick. Also, pretty much impossible to kill. I’m eating dandelions. I poop pellets now.
April 8, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Tortoise maxing, my dudes. Getting really big and slow and my head looks like a dick. Also, pretty much impossible to kill. I’m eating dandelions. I poop pellets now.
What if instead of exercise, we uploaded my brain into an inflatable balloon man of some sort?
April 7, 2025 at 1:38 AM
What if instead of exercise, we uploaded my brain into an inflatable balloon man of some sort?
A fork in the road. Aura maxing or beast mode. I dunno what an aura is so …. BEAST MODE! Big dog out!
April 5, 2025 at 9:00 PM
A fork in the road. Aura maxing or beast mode. I dunno what an aura is so …. BEAST MODE! Big dog out!
I am eating elastic bands again. Just copped a fresh bag of blue ones, since blue dye is the healthiest one.
April 2, 2025 at 5:30 AM
I am eating elastic bands again. Just copped a fresh bag of blue ones, since blue dye is the healthiest one.
Doctor says i have to stop eating elastic bands.
April 1, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Doctor says i have to stop eating elastic bands.
Starting to miss every cute that was ever nice to me and was out of my league but kissed my face anyway. It’s been 13 hours since i last saw one. I am dying.
March 29, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Starting to miss every cute that was ever nice to me and was out of my league but kissed my face anyway. It’s been 13 hours since i last saw one. I am dying.
You know the economy is bad when i am reduced to hanging out with girls that smoke cigarettes.
March 28, 2025 at 9:00 PM
You know the economy is bad when i am reduced to hanging out with girls that smoke cigarettes.
Executive order: NO MORE MAGNETS! Every one will use more fun tak, we have a large hole where we mine the stuff. A great hole. Oozing fun tak. I chew it like gum, but it’s worse than gum, believe me. Tastes bad, actually. Fun tak.
March 26, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Executive order: NO MORE MAGNETS! Every one will use more fun tak, we have a large hole where we mine the stuff. A great hole. Oozing fun tak. I chew it like gum, but it’s worse than gum, believe me. Tastes bad, actually. Fun tak.
Had a lot of fun firing my new Lorentz Plasma Canon at used televisions at The Dump™️. I woke up a giant rat and it bit one of the dump kids.
March 25, 2025 at 10:38 AM
Had a lot of fun firing my new Lorentz Plasma Canon at used televisions at The Dump™️. I woke up a giant rat and it bit one of the dump kids.
Writing a 800 page children’s novel about a mouse that makes best friends with a crab.
March 25, 2025 at 10:31 AM
Writing a 800 page children’s novel about a mouse that makes best friends with a crab.
Dang, internet goes out on date night. Guess we kiss with the webcam off tonight, sweetheartttt 😘
March 25, 2025 at 6:30 AM
Dang, internet goes out on date night. Guess we kiss with the webcam off tonight, sweetheartttt 😘