- Others taking advantage of you
- Often hurt by others
- Unable to trust those around you
- Mental rigidity/ Black and white thinking

You won’t see someone who feels heard, understood, and validated throw adult tantrums.

This is probably one of the most difficult patterns for people to change since changing it requires doing the very thing that hurt you growing up - being vulnerable.

Allow yourself to receive love in different ways it comes.

Whether it is a smile, an encouraging word, or a hug from a loved one. Your brain might just need help recognizing when it is showing up.

If you have a child, it doesn’t matter their age, get clear on your boundaries & learn to have fun.

Softness, fun, & gentle care will make the relationship feel safe & connection will strengthen. Consistent & clear boundaries create a safe container of what’s acceptable. You don’t have to choose.

I know many parents see respect as black/white bc they grew up in homes where they were pushed away as they received the message that it was impossible to have both respect and a good relationship.

I wish parents knew that respect is the natural result of having boundaries and a good relationship.

10) If you see me attending so many trainings and reading so many books, it isn’t because I’m smart or know it all.

In fact, what makes me continue learning is being aware of the times I lacked tools or information to help you. I always want to attempt being a better therapist for you.

9) I’m a human just like you.

I have my own life experiences, my own blindspots, my own struggles. I think of our working relationship as one human showing up for another.

8) When you ask me “How do you deal with hearing problems all day?”, I’m being truthful when I respond “My mind isn’t focused on the problem, it’s focused on the growth”.

I work with resilient people who want to grow and it’s a gift to see it happen.

7) I’m being honest when I say how much you’ve grown.

I think sometimes you believe change is measured by your ability to do things perfectly and it isn’t. Every session we have together I am very aware of the person you’re becoming and I have so much admiration for you.

6) I will mess up and not get everything right. Feel free to correct me. It helps me be a better therapist to you.

5) I will never shame you for not letting go of relationships that hurt you or having a hard time setting boundaries.

You’ve learned this is what it means to be loved. I can’t wait for the day you realize it isn’t and how natural it will feel to protect yourself then. It’s okay to be here now.

4) You don’t have to worry about taking care of my emotions.

I go to therapy to deal with my own stuff. I have practices in place to unwind and an amazing support system. Being there for you isn’t too much for me.

3) You won’t get in trouble for not doing homework.

Doing it will support your growth journey and I highly encourage it! But humans are not a monolith and what works for some might not work for others. I never want you to miss a session because you’re stressed about completing it.

2) I don’t care if you’re late. I will never give you a hard time for it.

You’re human with unique needs. I don’t care if it’s traffic, time blindness, parenting, work, etc. You’re not in trouble. I don’t ever want you to feel stressed over the possibility I will be upset. I won’t.

I will mess up and not get everything right. Feel free to correct me. It helps me be a better therapist to you.

I will never shame you for not letting go of relationships that hurt you or having a hard time setting boundaries.

In life you’ve learned this is what it means to be loved. I can’t wait for the day you realize it isn’t and how natural it will feel to protect yourself then. It’s okay to be here now.