*in my best Bobby Hill voice* Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been on here in 3 months. I was in my luteal phase.

Hey guys. It's just little ol' me... making 8-10 manic post and then logging off for a few months

Sorry I've been MIA for the last month. Doordash didn't issue me my credits after they forgot my ranch. It's still a sensitive topic so please go easy on me.

"That's ass just doesn't stop!!"
Yeah. I have a rare medical condition that causes my buttcrack to go all the way up my back, through my hair, and then down my face, chest, and belly until it reaches my cooch so that my entire body is basically 2 butt cheeks. Thanks for pointing it out, Dylan. 🙄

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." No. The definition of insanity is "Chronic back pain but only having B cup tiddies"

I love lying online

Here's a statistic the government doesn't want you to know👀🤐...
The average human body is 60% water.
Your body is 69% cum. Get away from me, freak!
#comedy #boobs #lgbtq+ #conspiracy

I don't repost because I'm actually a lot cooler than y'all.

How does I get famous on here?
I'm a Leo ♌️
I need this.

I'm so glad tiktok is back. I tried to watch a movie and after exactly 61 seconds of watching my body started convulsing and I threw up.

"I didn't even use tiktok"
Just shut your mouth before I take a crap into my hand and throw it in there.

I've hit the age where everyone I know is getting married so when someone I graduated highschool with (and haven't talked to in 5+ years) post a 'Save the Date' I like to comment something like "You'll have to reschedule. That's my birthday week. Sorry :("

I just know my genX(derogatory) mother-in-law is about to be hell on facebook today. She's already posted 3 memes that say "back in my day this was tiktok" and it's literally just a picture of a fucking cassette.

I had 217 tiktok followers. Who what's to help me double that over here? A bitch tryna succeed in life. #tiktokrefugee #tiktokban