I would be owning empires if I just followed my own advise but it is harder than cutting onions with a straight face.

The good news about Trump deporting illegal immigrants who work in farms all across America is that finally we can get all the hoes from strip clubs to finally live up to their name in the farms.

The good thing about having a sex doll is it does not have mood swings when you forget your anniversary.

A venn diagram, but with a dentist and a therapist on either end and the middle part labelled ' Open up '

The doctor asked me where it hurts and I had to engage him in a 30 minute tête-à-tête showing him the eroded justice system, democracy, and the rule of law.

The good thing about eating Turkey on random days is you can just ask the day to identify as thanksgiving.

Contact me for all your thesis and dissertation needs. I will also assist you with your statistics tasks (Ms Excel, SPSS, SAS, STATA)

#academicsky

Gen Z is amazing. I asked a (paid) intern to bring me 50 blank pieces of copier paper and when she brought them in they were warm. Turns out that, rather than count them, she set the copier to 50 and printed blank sheets. Genius.

My wife & I tried role play but we kept fighting over who would be Mr. Bean

Yes I do enjoy being told I am a big boy, except when its at the fitness trainer and they are reading out my BMI loud.

Is Gladiator 2 worth seeing in theaters? I feel like it was better live.

One of my favorite parts of seeing Wicked was just how HAPPY people were leaving the theater. Adults, kids, and especially the theater geeks like me.

Is shouting ' MUSTAAARRRDD' a good way to respond to someone after they asked me to tell them how good Kendrick's GNX album is?

The main advantage of eating junk food is that you are at least certain of what will eventually kill you. I don't know much about you, but I like to be in control of my destiny.