Laszlo Xalieri
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xalieri.bsky.social
Laszlo Xalieri
@xalieri.bsky.social
77 followers 92 following 230 posts
Writer. Author. On a first-name basis with my demons.
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xalieri.bsky.social
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#WeHaveCertainThingsInCommonJeffrey
Parody alteration and crop of Shepard Fairey's NOPE portrait of Donald Trump with the “NOPE” text replaced with a phrase attributed to Donald Trump on a birthday card to Jeffrey Epstein: “We have certain things in common, Jeffrey”
July 19, 2025 at 10:05 AM
xalieri.bsky.social
Happy Birthday, Franz Kafka.
A stylized 4-color illustration of a huge-jawed beetle in parody of Shepard Fairey's “HOPE” illustration of Obama's bust
July 3, 2025 at 9:17 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
HURRY UP PLEASE ITS TIME
HURRY UP PLEASE ITS TIME
HURRY UP PLEASE ITS TIME
HURRY UP PLEASE ITS TIME
HURRY UP PLEASE ITS TIME
an illustration of a winged multi-eyed face-tentacled Cthulhu-like individual rendered in greens with a blue, yellow, and red Art Nouveau frame bearing a cursive inscription, “le rêve visqueux”, on an ecru background
June 10, 2025 at 4:08 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
Service members: There's help if you want it.
Twitter post from Cian Westmoreland regarding a toll-free number, 1-877-447-4487, for US active duty military personnel to call if they are being given orders to violate the Constitutional rights of US citizens.
June 8, 2025 at 9:36 AM
xalieri.bsky.social
[random Tamarian* voice]: Carney, fourth-walling it from You-Know-Where.

__________
* en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darmok
cropped screen-grab of Canadian PM Carney during a broadcast meeting with US President Trump in the White House
May 7, 2025 at 2:17 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
New passport obtained.

Assuming planes can stay in the sky and stop bumping into one another, I'm ready to fulfill any overseas specialty consulting¹ or personal courier service² needs you might know of.

____________________
1 Inquire for a list of fields of expertise.
2 No weapons or drugs.
photo of US passport book and RF-shielded US passport card on wooden surface
April 2, 2025 at 8:26 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
Not smoking anything illegal, I swear. It's just smoldering insulation trying to hold back the rage.
March 24, 2025 at 10:18 AM
xalieri.bsky.social
Not a gator.
photograph of tiny anole on a back porch in Acadiana
March 6, 2025 at 11:18 AM
xalieri.bsky.social
Storytime.
original sculpture of weird vaguely humanoid seated entity cradling plastic baby and attended by self-grooming plastic housecat
February 21, 2025 at 5:02 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
Fishie.

#origami #Montroll & #Lang
February 9, 2025 at 3:58 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
Burn off that fidgety nerve-noise until only stillness is left.
a photo of an origami dragon
February 8, 2025 at 2:29 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
Lovely. America's own Ra's al-Fhul is involved in interfering in the duties of our elected legislators.

Triple Canopy is part of the new-name-every-week Blackwater private military that Erik Prince keeps on the board everywhere his filthy fingers try to get a grip.

#USPOL #UScoup
a cropped version of photo Sen. Markey's photo he shared of being denied entrance to the EPA by an armed guard in a gray uniform. Patches on his hat and sleeve are circled in red, showing the stylized star(?) insignia of Triple Canopy Triple Canopy's stylized star insignia and the slogan "secure success", courtesy of Wikipedia
February 8, 2025 at 11:48 AM
xalieri.bsky.social
Look at this beautiful terrible thing.
a briar pipe sculpted in the form of a fish head a briar pipe sculpted in the form of a fish head, diagrammed with dimensions in SAE and metric values
February 6, 2025 at 7:25 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
The struggle is real.

[Source: www.oglaf.com/suggestionbox/ WARNING: other comics at this site may be FAR too raunchy for standard office/school/home-with-underage-children viewing]
Oglaf comic: “Suggestion Box”, featuring a dude praying. Dude: “Oh Lord, thank you for everything. … I have some notes." Dude: “Torture bad people while they're still alive.” Dude: “Wolves could be cooler about doing childcare.” Dude: “You put a lot of work into sunsets. … That time would be better spent making people hotter.” Dude: “Friday Night Bishop Fights.” Dude: “Let cool new gods use your cathedrals mid-week.” Dude: “Give elephants an arm. … Picking shit up with your nose is gross.” [Angel, appearing behind dude] Angel: “God says you have to stop praying to Him.” Dude: “Aw”
February 3, 2025 at 2:44 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
I guess everyone fell asleep during Ben Stein's lecture in “Ferris Bueller's Day Off” … except a HUGE number of hedge funds managers.
screenshot of a MarketScreener report from Goldman Sachs detailing a recent enormous upswing in hedge fund managers taking short position on US stocks, indicating worries of a stock market crash screenshot snap of the wikipedia page for the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Acts
February 2, 2025 at 2:46 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
Clutter containment.
a photograph of a set of horizontal surfaces with various methodologies for organizing clutter
January 30, 2025 at 3:59 AM
xalieri.bsky.social
Work(ing) boots.
cheap rubber-sole canvas high-top shoes in black with black laces arranged in upright (left) and inverted (right) pentagrams
January 29, 2025 at 12:50 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
Poor thing's been through hell. Time to put it back on, though?
photograph of old & battle-damaged Legion of Super Heroes flight ring
January 25, 2025 at 1:06 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
I've seen that tic before.
January 21, 2025 at 2:47 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
Not cool enough for Spotify Wrapped, sorry.

Still scrobble to Last.FM whilst playing non-streamed music files from from local storage on my WinAmp clone, though...
screenshot of the current play queue from my lame-ass Windows MPD client that hasn't been updated since 2010
December 6, 2024 at 5:54 AM
xalieri.bsky.social
Meanwhile, over on Faceboot:
screenshot of a public condolence post on Facebook concerning the assassination of their CEO dated eleven hours prior including a count of various reaction-clicks: 21K laugh, 2K cry, 1.7K care, etc.
December 5, 2024 at 5:11 AM
xalieri.bsky.social
Light a taper made from rancid human tallow poured into a cigar wrapper if you have one and pray along with me.
Invocation to Saint Gonzo, HST, in this our hour of need, I will be happy to sift your floating ashes from the fucking sky with my own lungs and cough your drug-and-joy-wrecked corpse back together pounding your storm-boiled dust into clay with phlegm and piss and bile and second-hand spooge scraped from a wall in the nearest back alley with a two-thumbed gonzo fist and disgorge into your newly rebuilt nicotine-lined skull the eternal words of living venom spritzed with a mist of adrenochrome harvested from the tender flesh of a hundred spontaneously self-aborted fetal clones of Ronald Reagan and jumpstart you back to undying life with the electrified juices of a rabid terrier crossbred with a scorpion and a chainsaw and put your prematurely expired ass back to fucking work because it’s time, so long past time, and I know it’s what you wanted or else you wouldn’t have put your ashes into the fucking sky, into that Kennelly-Heavisde Lair, where any deranged old necromancer-wannabe could grab a handful at whim. Get back to work, get back to work, you colossal, brilliant, perpetually hallucinating asshole. Amen.
November 8, 2024 at 1:06 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
Oddly evocative typo.
screenshot of a journal article from 1988 with the word “ichthyphallic” highlighted
October 29, 2024 at 10:55 PM
xalieri.bsky.social
Fellow humanoids, I love writing that experimental fiction stuff. But it's fairly obv that nobody else loves that I love writing that experimental fiction stuff. 'Tsokay. I have fun.

(Intrigued? Hit up l.xal.li/KOFI-ALG and see what it's about.)

#Writing #Fiction #WeirdLit #SF #EBook #DirtCheap
I have a soft spot for any hilariously complicated device or process that is designed and constructed for a small and specific purpose. Like how the typical eukaryotic cell is packed with enough computing and nanoscale construction and recycling equipment to serve an entire nation if scaled up to the size of a city, yet it spends most of its lifetime shoveling sugars, expelling water and carbon dioxide, and whining to Management that if it doesn’t get more it will go on strike. The whole process of being a multicellular organism takes all of that computing power and turns it into baby birds shouting in a nest and trying to shove one another out. Intracellular groupthink, lies, manipulations, temporary alliances, backstabbing, but somehow you manage to breathe and walk. I may be prejudiced. I am a single cell in my resting state, but when I get to work, I subdivide into many trillions of subworkers that are fully integrated in goal and action. Less fuss, less waste. Anyway. I shat out a
October 6, 2024 at 9:17 AM
xalieri.bsky.social
"WELCOME TO OCTOBER COUNTRY" SALE!

The House of Forbidden Knowledge!

NEW PRICE: $2 at l.xal.li/XALFIC !

#EBook #Fiction #Horror #AcademicHorror #DarkAcademia #WeirdLit #CosmicHorror
Laszlo Xalieri’s The House of Forbidden Knowledge: not for the faint of heart or stomach. This macabre and sardonic exploration of the hidden First University dedicated to the preservation of all knowledge—dangerous, perverse, or mundane—is profoundly unsettling yet laughter-provoking. Xalieri shuffles elements of horror, humor, and post-human philosophical musings into a reading experience reminiscent of Jorge Luis Borges and Thomas Ligotti. Presented through lectures, committee meeting transcripts, bulletins, and student papers, this work reveals a world very close to our own where the ravenous hunger for knowledge ignores all boundaries and consequences. The reader encounters grotesque technologies, ancient secrets, and terrifying glimpses of uncontrollable and unfathomable power. Xalieri’s cynical wit, directed at the absurdity of academia and human nature, provides moments of dark humor and utterly fails to cushion the book’s chilling impact. This book will remain with you long af Cover art for Laszlo Xalieri's The House of Forbidden Knowledge with some amusing and mood setting sidebar text invoking academic anxiety a sample page of a section of Laszlo Xalieri's The House of Forbidden Knowledge titled "A Hilarious Look Back at Your Application for Admission a promo image for the Ko-Fi Shop's October sale promising $1 and $2 prices and strangely trying to imply that digital items like e-books take up space in an inventory, which is obviously BS. Also, the link: https://l.xal.li/XALFIC
October 6, 2024 at 12:02 AM