Sober Hedonist
@x-hedonist.bsky.social
For the past 30 years I have used something to numb myself, or alter my mood. This is my journey of exploring my pure consciousness, filling my time with art, plant medicine and Transcendental Meditation. It’s not easy, but necessary.
This time it doesn’t feel so hard at all, thanks to the well curated iboga ceremony. The last time, the first week without nicotine felt like I was losing my mind while climbing up an impossible mountain.
June 1, 2025 at 3:04 PM
This time it doesn’t feel so hard at all, thanks to the well curated iboga ceremony. The last time, the first week without nicotine felt like I was losing my mind while climbing up an impossible mountain.
If I refrain from drinking, smoking and all recreational drugs for 30 days after the iboga ceremony, then the first drink, smoke or drug use I have afterwards will be like my first time.
May 29, 2025 at 1:03 PM
If I refrain from drinking, smoking and all recreational drugs for 30 days after the iboga ceremony, then the first drink, smoke or drug use I have afterwards will be like my first time.
Not only are the nicotine cravings gone, but the desire to overeat because of the absence of nicotine is also gone. Iboga truly is a miracle plant medicine.
May 29, 2025 at 10:29 AM
Not only are the nicotine cravings gone, but the desire to overeat because of the absence of nicotine is also gone. Iboga truly is a miracle plant medicine.
I came back from this iboga ceremony completely reset, without any cravings. The ceremony was conducted differently to the last with a very purist approach to Bwiti traditions, where the part that no longer serves you goes to die and a new version of the self is resurrected.
May 27, 2025 at 5:59 AM
I came back from this iboga ceremony completely reset, without any cravings. The ceremony was conducted differently to the last with a very purist approach to Bwiti traditions, where the part that no longer serves you goes to die and a new version of the self is resurrected.
During the break I had between the Iboga ceremonies, I decided to dip my toe in the waters of my addictions again. The next iboga ceremony requires another 40 day detox from alcohol and caffeine. I feel disappointed that I wanted to, but thought a break from taking a break would be nice.
May 23, 2025 at 6:57 AM
During the break I had between the Iboga ceremonies, I decided to dip my toe in the waters of my addictions again. The next iboga ceremony requires another 40 day detox from alcohol and caffeine. I feel disappointed that I wanted to, but thought a break from taking a break would be nice.
Yesterday was another Kambo ceremony in preparation for the iboga ceremony starting at midnight tonight. May that greedy pig who overindulges in everything die this weekend.
May 23, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Yesterday was another Kambo ceremony in preparation for the iboga ceremony starting at midnight tonight. May that greedy pig who overindulges in everything die this weekend.
30 days of meditating for 20 minutes, twice a day. May this gold streak continue.
May 9, 2025 at 5:00 AM
30 days of meditating for 20 minutes, twice a day. May this gold streak continue.
My Kambo Warrior marks. The frog medicine doesn’t just make you purge out toxins, it fills you with the wisdom and peace of the frog who carries it. I cut down dramatically on mindless Netflix and You Tube, because I enjoy my own thoughts much more now. How grateful I am for this medicine.
May 8, 2025 at 1:14 PM
My Kambo Warrior marks. The frog medicine doesn’t just make you purge out toxins, it fills you with the wisdom and peace of the frog who carries it. I cut down dramatically on mindless Netflix and You Tube, because I enjoy my own thoughts much more now. How grateful I am for this medicine.
I thought quitting wine and beer would make me fit and lean, but, unfortunately, the food cravings I get from nicotine withdrawals are making me eat too much and my metabolism has become sluggish. For someone who struggles staying slim, nicotine gets you right there.
May 8, 2025 at 1:08 PM
I thought quitting wine and beer would make me fit and lean, but, unfortunately, the food cravings I get from nicotine withdrawals are making me eat too much and my metabolism has become sluggish. For someone who struggles staying slim, nicotine gets you right there.
The only counters I have left is nicotine, alcohol and chewing gum. Coffee and weed have become part of my daily life again. Weed is helping with my mood, and cravings for alcohol and nicotine. Caffeine is helping me suppress the relentless appetite that nicotine withdrawals give.
May 8, 2025 at 1:02 PM
The only counters I have left is nicotine, alcohol and chewing gum. Coffee and weed have become part of my daily life again. Weed is helping with my mood, and cravings for alcohol and nicotine. Caffeine is helping me suppress the relentless appetite that nicotine withdrawals give.
I had to reset my weed counter today. I was lashing out at everyone and felt like I was about to explode. It helped me calm down, be more compassionate and reduced the other cravings. Let’s hope it doesn’t mean I fall completely off the wagon with everything else.
April 28, 2025 at 6:48 PM
I had to reset my weed counter today. I was lashing out at everyone and felt like I was about to explode. It helped me calm down, be more compassionate and reduced the other cravings. Let’s hope it doesn’t mean I fall completely off the wagon with everything else.
This week was particularly hard because I gave up chewing gum which was my replacement for smoking and vaping. I keep thinking this will be the day where I give up giving up.
April 27, 2025 at 3:08 PM
This week was particularly hard because I gave up chewing gum which was my replacement for smoking and vaping. I keep thinking this will be the day where I give up giving up.
A man told me he has been in recovery from alcohol and drugs for 18 years. I asked if he was on and off. He said, no, sober for 18 years. Does that mean he’ll never just be normal again? How depressing.
April 25, 2025 at 3:44 PM
A man told me he has been in recovery from alcohol and drugs for 18 years. I asked if he was on and off. He said, no, sober for 18 years. Does that mean he’ll never just be normal again? How depressing.
It takes about as much time and energy to build myself up, as it does to break myself down.
April 23, 2025 at 1:59 PM
It takes about as much time and energy to build myself up, as it does to break myself down.
If I wasn’t micro dosing Iboga every day, I would have started nicotine again.
April 23, 2025 at 12:20 PM
If I wasn’t micro dosing Iboga every day, I would have started nicotine again.
I’m thinking of trying kambo, the frog medicine. A friend of mine who is also an addict in recovery tried it and said that she felt great afterwards.
April 23, 2025 at 12:13 PM
I’m thinking of trying kambo, the frog medicine. A friend of mine who is also an addict in recovery tried it and said that she felt great afterwards.
It’s funny how too much chocolate and sweets can make you feel hungover
April 21, 2025 at 6:34 AM
It’s funny how too much chocolate and sweets can make you feel hungover
I made it to one month without alcohol. The holidays sure made it more challenging. I missed it, but I feel like anything is possible now.
April 21, 2025 at 6:13 AM
I made it to one month without alcohol. The holidays sure made it more challenging. I missed it, but I feel like anything is possible now.
I miss the smell and taste of coffee, but because it will flush the iboga out of my liver, I have to refrain from using it. Green tea and Jasmin tea is allowed, luckily. It helps to keep the pep in my step.
April 17, 2025 at 6:29 AM
I miss the smell and taste of coffee, but because it will flush the iboga out of my liver, I have to refrain from using it. Green tea and Jasmin tea is allowed, luckily. It helps to keep the pep in my step.
Yesterday was particularly tough, but I’m glad I made it through the night clean from my vices. I think I should do another iboga flood to help with the cravings.
April 17, 2025 at 6:09 AM
Yesterday was particularly tough, but I’m glad I made it through the night clean from my vices. I think I should do another iboga flood to help with the cravings.
My therapy for the day. Gray scale still life.
April 15, 2025 at 1:55 PM
My therapy for the day. Gray scale still life.
All that is true and real in life is always simple and natural.
April 15, 2025 at 1:41 PM
All that is true and real in life is always simple and natural.
When I get to day 14 of being nicotine-free, I need to ween myself off the chewing gum. I’m spending more on chewing gum than I was on nicotine products.
April 15, 2025 at 7:48 AM
When I get to day 14 of being nicotine-free, I need to ween myself off the chewing gum. I’m spending more on chewing gum than I was on nicotine products.
Days since. I miss nicotine the most, but would love an Irish coffee paired with a weed/ tobacco joint.
April 14, 2025 at 11:45 AM
Days since. I miss nicotine the most, but would love an Irish coffee paired with a weed/ tobacco joint.
Transcendental meditation is a truly blissful discipline.
April 14, 2025 at 11:37 AM
Transcendental meditation is a truly blissful discipline.