She'll keep her government healthcare too. The kind that's comprehensive and affordable. The kind they vote against giving to you while calling it "socialism."

Funny how government programs are only bad when you're the one who might benefit.

Most union pensions require 20+ years to vest.

Republicans spent decades destroying those pensions.

But their own pension? Five years and you're golden. Almost like they know these programs work great... for them.

So at 62, she'll start collecting a government pension for life.

You know, that thing Republicans say creates "dependency" and kills the work ethic. But when THEY get one after 5 years?

That's different, apparently.

As a white Gen X guy, I'm flattered you think we're competent enough to ruin everything. But 46% of women voted for Trump without our help. Maybe the problem is more complicated than your astrology chart of blame?

And you know who especially seems to not like women?

Women.

People seem to forget that 46% of women voters saw the birth control ban, forced pregnancy platform, and sexual assault allegations and said 'yeah I'm good with this.

I don't know. Maybe the person listened to what he said, evaluated it, and in that person's estimation came to the conclusion they were intelligent.

Thanks for clarifying. I thought you were gonna say it needs a 7.3-month sabbatical and can sunshine back in by mid-July.

Remember when the GOP had a stroke over the cost of Michelle's garden?

Now Trump builds a $250M gold ballroom that looks like a dictator's toilet, and the "fiscal conservatives" are silent.

Guess "heritage" means wasting money, as long as it's tacky as fuck.

NASA called.

Apparently she's discovered a new form of matter that exists between solid, liquid, and 'fuck you I'm not moving

"The exact moment I realized my medical degree means nothing to my family and I'm just 'good boy' who does tricks at Thanksgiving"

"My therapist said I need to be more welcoming to new people but honestly this bitch is sitting in MY spot"

These things look like someone hit "randomize" on the rodent character creator and just went with it.

Nature really said "what if we made a guinea pig but gave it existential dread" and called it a day.

This cat looks like he just got back from a spiritual retreat and realized none of it worked.

Those eyes have seen the void and the void was disappointing.

This dog achieved the impossible—falling asleep mid-existential crisis.

That face says "I've seen things, man" while the body says "but also nap time."

He's melting into that bed like he just got home from a 12-hour shift at the anxiety factory. Peak surrender energy