Don Chicks-Hottie
@whyintheheck.bsky.social
she/they
McDLT and John Philip Sousa enthusiast. the astronauts left their poop on the moon. water is not wet.
McDLT and John Philip Sousa enthusiast. the astronauts left their poop on the moon. water is not wet.
I simply do not understand why people think Kermit is at all dateable. yes he has attractive qualities, but look how he is in an actual relationship. won’t properly commit to Miss Piggy but also won’t be honest and say he’s not interested.
November 19, 2025 at 5:18 AM
I simply do not understand why people think Kermit is at all dateable. yes he has attractive qualities, but look how he is in an actual relationship. won’t properly commit to Miss Piggy but also won’t be honest and say he’s not interested.
tonight I went to Hofbräuhaus with some people from work and I ordered the chili cheese kransky and when I cut into it for the first time, it shot a geyser of genuinely spicy sausage juice into both my eyes and I just had to sit there like
November 18, 2025 at 11:35 AM
tonight I went to Hofbräuhaus with some people from work and I ordered the chili cheese kransky and when I cut into it for the first time, it shot a geyser of genuinely spicy sausage juice into both my eyes and I just had to sit there like
when Australian companies kick off their Black Friday sales
November 14, 2025 at 1:03 AM
when Australian companies kick off their Black Friday sales
you: a fart
me, an intellectual:
me, an intellectual:
November 12, 2025 at 9:27 AM
you: a fart
me, an intellectual:
me, an intellectual:
Spotify DJ: hey I noticed you listened to that one Eskimo Joe song you remember from your teens coz it was on that one Triple J Hottest 100 CD. how about this other Eskimo Joe song from the same era?
me:
me:
November 10, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Spotify DJ: hey I noticed you listened to that one Eskimo Joe song you remember from your teens coz it was on that one Triple J Hottest 100 CD. how about this other Eskimo Joe song from the same era?
me:
me:
was telling my shrink some gossip today and she gave me one of these so obviously I can die happy now.
November 8, 2025 at 10:59 AM
was telling my shrink some gossip today and she gave me one of these so obviously I can die happy now.
me: mum can we get F•R•I•E•N•D•S?
mum: we have F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home
F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home:
mum: we have F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home
F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home:
November 3, 2025 at 10:53 AM
me: mum can we get F•R•I•E•N•D•S?
mum: we have F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home
F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home:
mum: we have F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home
F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home:
me:
husband: Carrie from Sex and the City would love that place.
husband: Carrie from Sex and the City would love that place.
October 25, 2025 at 9:36 AM
me:
husband: Carrie from Sex and the City would love that place.
husband: Carrie from Sex and the City would love that place.
when my phone autocorrects ‘apple’ to ‘Apple’.
October 19, 2025 at 4:25 AM
when my phone autocorrects ‘apple’ to ‘Apple’.
hairdresser: do you like eating Asian food?
dude: aw I’m not much of an Asian food eater to be honest
dude: aw I’m not much of an Asian food eater to be honest
October 18, 2025 at 4:54 AM
hairdresser: do you like eating Asian food?
dude: aw I’m not much of an Asian food eater to be honest
dude: aw I’m not much of an Asian food eater to be honest
I think women need to get better at recognising which anecdotes about their husbands, while very funny in-jokes within the confines of the marriage where you both know each other very well, trust each other and know the tone they used etc., make them seem psychotic when viewed in a public forum.
October 18, 2025 at 2:30 AM
I think women need to get better at recognising which anecdotes about their husbands, while very funny in-jokes within the confines of the marriage where you both know each other very well, trust each other and know the tone they used etc., make them seem psychotic when viewed in a public forum.
something I think about a lot is David Arquette in Muppets From Space teasing the rats for not having opposable thumbs. I also like to lord my opposable thumbs over animals.
October 17, 2025 at 10:54 AM
something I think about a lot is David Arquette in Muppets From Space teasing the rats for not having opposable thumbs. I also like to lord my opposable thumbs over animals.
because I stand with him. #istandwithbarnowl
October 15, 2025 at 8:03 AM
because I stand with him. #istandwithbarnowl
hey Amazon….what?
October 15, 2025 at 1:52 AM
hey Amazon….what?
PSA: don’t make online purchases using AppleID. it will send the embarrassing name you saved your own number under (as a joke!) to internet personalities you have parasocial friendcrushes on.
October 9, 2025 at 7:00 AM
PSA: don’t make online purchases using AppleID. it will send the embarrassing name you saved your own number under (as a joke!) to internet personalities you have parasocial friendcrushes on.
remember EC? this is him now. feel old yet??
October 6, 2025 at 2:48 AM
remember EC? this is him now. feel old yet??
psychologist: golf club cover Bert isn’t real, he can’t hurt you
golf club cover Bert:
golf club cover Bert:
October 6, 2025 at 2:24 AM
psychologist: golf club cover Bert isn’t real, he can’t hurt you
golf club cover Bert:
golf club cover Bert:
tfw I decide to get two different caffeinated beverages with breakfast, to hell with the gastrointestinal consequences.
October 4, 2025 at 9:53 PM
tfw I decide to get two different caffeinated beverages with breakfast, to hell with the gastrointestinal consequences.
baby brother: ew gross
me: what?
bb: ugh just these new trains they’re adding to the Melbourne fleet.
me: what?
bb: ugh just these new trains they’re adding to the Melbourne fleet.
September 27, 2025 at 3:00 AM
baby brother: ew gross
me: what?
bb: ugh just these new trains they’re adding to the Melbourne fleet.
me: what?
bb: ugh just these new trains they’re adding to the Melbourne fleet.
how I feel charring eggplants and capsicums over a gas flame on the stove.
September 5, 2025 at 8:16 AM
how I feel charring eggplants and capsicums over a gas flame on the stove.
Herald Sun out here reaching new, unexplored depths of obsequiousness and boot-lickery.
September 3, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Herald Sun out here reaching new, unexplored depths of obsequiousness and boot-lickery.
me @ Americans: we don’t all talk like that!! we demand to be taken seriously!
traitorous fellow Aussies:
traitorous fellow Aussies:
August 9, 2025 at 9:07 AM
me @ Americans: we don’t all talk like that!! we demand to be taken seriously!
traitorous fellow Aussies:
traitorous fellow Aussies:
🎶 doo doo doo-doo-doo 🎶
August 5, 2025 at 9:16 AM
🎶 doo doo doo-doo-doo 🎶
me, inexplicably surprised after drinking no water all day:
July 23, 2025 at 7:21 AM
me, inexplicably surprised after drinking no water all day: