Don Chicks-Hottie
@whyintheheck.bsky.social
she/they
McDLT and John Philip Sousa enthusiast. the astronauts left their poop on the moon. water is not wet.
McDLT and John Philip Sousa enthusiast. the astronauts left their poop on the moon. water is not wet.
I simply do not understand why people think Kermit is at all dateable. yes he has attractive qualities, but look how he is in an actual relationship. won’t properly commit to Miss Piggy but also won’t be honest and say he’s not interested.
November 19, 2025 at 5:18 AM
I simply do not understand why people think Kermit is at all dateable. yes he has attractive qualities, but look how he is in an actual relationship. won’t properly commit to Miss Piggy but also won’t be honest and say he’s not interested.
tonight I went to Hofbräuhaus with some people from work and I ordered the chili cheese kransky and when I cut into it for the first time, it shot a geyser of genuinely spicy sausage juice into both my eyes and I just had to sit there like
November 18, 2025 at 11:35 AM
tonight I went to Hofbräuhaus with some people from work and I ordered the chili cheese kransky and when I cut into it for the first time, it shot a geyser of genuinely spicy sausage juice into both my eyes and I just had to sit there like
dehydration headache AND needing to pee? at the same time?? life is a curse.
November 18, 2025 at 7:11 AM
dehydration headache AND needing to pee? at the same time?? life is a curse.
Big Dry Bean: can I offer you a cheap and delicious source of protein in these trying times?
me: wow yes this is amazing
BDB: ((some of the beans might actually be rocks))
me: what??
BDB: nothing, my pretty ((heh heh heh))
me: wow yes this is amazing
BDB: ((some of the beans might actually be rocks))
me: what??
BDB: nothing, my pretty ((heh heh heh))
November 17, 2025 at 9:50 AM
Big Dry Bean: can I offer you a cheap and delicious source of protein in these trying times?
me: wow yes this is amazing
BDB: ((some of the beans might actually be rocks))
me: what??
BDB: nothing, my pretty ((heh heh heh))
me: wow yes this is amazing
BDB: ((some of the beans might actually be rocks))
me: what??
BDB: nothing, my pretty ((heh heh heh))
everyone’s in favour of accommodations for neurodivergent people until I request the accommodation of everyone listening to the album I’m hyperfixated on in full without talking and then telling me it’s the best thing they’ve ever heard.
November 17, 2025 at 7:37 AM
everyone’s in favour of accommodations for neurodivergent people until I request the accommodation of everyone listening to the album I’m hyperfixated on in full without talking and then telling me it’s the best thing they’ve ever heard.
when Australian companies kick off their Black Friday sales
November 14, 2025 at 1:03 AM
when Australian companies kick off their Black Friday sales
you: a fart
me, an intellectual:
me, an intellectual:
November 12, 2025 at 9:27 AM
you: a fart
me, an intellectual:
me, an intellectual:
Spotify DJ: hey I noticed you listened to that one Eskimo Joe song you remember from your teens coz it was on that one Triple J Hottest 100 CD. how about this other Eskimo Joe song from the same era?
me:
me:
November 10, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Spotify DJ: hey I noticed you listened to that one Eskimo Joe song you remember from your teens coz it was on that one Triple J Hottest 100 CD. how about this other Eskimo Joe song from the same era?
me:
me:
if I played Elvis in a movie, I would simply not let that affect my irl accent. sorry Austin Butler but I’m built different
November 9, 2025 at 12:34 AM
if I played Elvis in a movie, I would simply not let that affect my irl accent. sorry Austin Butler but I’m built different
was telling my shrink some gossip today and she gave me one of these so obviously I can die happy now.
November 8, 2025 at 10:59 AM
was telling my shrink some gossip today and she gave me one of these so obviously I can die happy now.
amidst the rising popularity of thermal printers (✨”iNkLeSs TeChNoLoGy”✨), literally nothing makes me madder than all the companies selling them as perfect for journaling, or note-taking during study without disclosing that the printouts aren’t PERMANENT.
November 6, 2025 at 11:14 PM
amidst the rising popularity of thermal printers (✨”iNkLeSs TeChNoLoGy”✨), literally nothing makes me madder than all the companies selling them as perfect for journaling, or note-taking during study without disclosing that the printouts aren’t PERMANENT.
me: mum can we get F•R•I•E•N•D•S?
mum: we have F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home
F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home:
mum: we have F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home
F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home:
November 3, 2025 at 10:53 AM
me: mum can we get F•R•I•E•N•D•S?
mum: we have F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home
F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home:
mum: we have F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home
F•R•I•E•N•D•S at home:
I read one book about the real story of the Great Escape and now Audible thinks I’m a boomer dad with a WWII special interest 😩
October 31, 2025 at 10:01 PM
I read one book about the real story of the Great Escape and now Audible thinks I’m a boomer dad with a WWII special interest 😩
all along I’ve been like “leave the young people alone! we millennials have suffered too much at the hands of older generations to now judge those younger than us!” but them deciding that 6-7 is peak comedy when the much funnier 69 is only two numbers away may break me.
October 30, 2025 at 6:43 AM
all along I’ve been like “leave the young people alone! we millennials have suffered too much at the hands of older generations to now judge those younger than us!” but them deciding that 6-7 is peak comedy when the much funnier 69 is only two numbers away may break me.
Cotton On Body? uh okay, grass on ground. clouds in sky.
October 30, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Cotton On Body? uh okay, grass on ground. clouds in sky.
when someone posts in the community FB page like “found these keys at the plaza, DM me if they’re yours” instead of just handing them in to Lost and Found and moving on with their life, and you just know they don’t get to experience any other form of power or control in their everyday life.
October 30, 2025 at 2:28 AM
when someone posts in the community FB page like “found these keys at the plaza, DM me if they’re yours” instead of just handing them in to Lost and Found and moving on with their life, and you just know they don’t get to experience any other form of power or control in their everyday life.
he’s a 10 but he pronounces Uno “you-no”.
October 30, 2025 at 1:25 AM
he’s a 10 but he pronounces Uno “you-no”.
me:
husband: Carrie from Sex and the City would love that place.
husband: Carrie from Sex and the City would love that place.
October 25, 2025 at 9:36 AM
me:
husband: Carrie from Sex and the City would love that place.
husband: Carrie from Sex and the City would love that place.
Phil Rosenthal voice over: I don’t think anyone could be angry after tasting this porchetta focaccia so I’m taking my leftovers to Cronulla Beach, home of the 2005 Cronulla race riots…
October 23, 2025 at 10:50 AM
Phil Rosenthal voice over: I don’t think anyone could be angry after tasting this porchetta focaccia so I’m taking my leftovers to Cronulla Beach, home of the 2005 Cronulla race riots…
I gotta be honest, there’s little I trust less than the applause of Venice and Cannes audiences. you don’t have to tell me how many minutes a film got when you’re pitching it to me, that’s worth less than nothing.
October 21, 2025 at 11:52 AM
I gotta be honest, there’s little I trust less than the applause of Venice and Cannes audiences. you don’t have to tell me how many minutes a film got when you’re pitching it to me, that’s worth less than nothing.
when my phone autocorrects ‘apple’ to ‘Apple’.
October 19, 2025 at 4:25 AM
when my phone autocorrects ‘apple’ to ‘Apple’.
I keep getting my eczema steroid cream in my eyes coz I have dryness around them and contrary to what you might assume, it’s not giving me jacked eyeballs.
October 18, 2025 at 7:58 AM
I keep getting my eczema steroid cream in my eyes coz I have dryness around them and contrary to what you might assume, it’s not giving me jacked eyeballs.
god save me from this guy next to me at the hairdresser who calls women “females” and says it’s harder for men to find love because fEmALeS are materialistic and don’t know how to handle peace when they find it because of the chaos in their past.
October 18, 2025 at 4:53 AM
god save me from this guy next to me at the hairdresser who calls women “females” and says it’s harder for men to find love because fEmALeS are materialistic and don’t know how to handle peace when they find it because of the chaos in their past.
me, waiting for my turn at the hairdresser:
woman getting her hair done next to me: …in a weird way, COVID was a good thing…
me: 👀
woman getting her hair done next to me: …in a weird way, COVID was a good thing…
me: 👀
October 18, 2025 at 3:43 AM
me, waiting for my turn at the hairdresser:
woman getting her hair done next to me: …in a weird way, COVID was a good thing…
me: 👀
woman getting her hair done next to me: …in a weird way, COVID was a good thing…
me: 👀
I think women need to get better at recognising which anecdotes about their husbands, while very funny in-jokes within the confines of the marriage where you both know each other very well, trust each other and know the tone they used etc., make them seem psychotic when viewed in a public forum.
October 18, 2025 at 2:30 AM
I think women need to get better at recognising which anecdotes about their husbands, while very funny in-jokes within the confines of the marriage where you both know each other very well, trust each other and know the tone they used etc., make them seem psychotic when viewed in a public forum.