I don’t want to be strangers anymore

So now I think of you. I don’t want to think of you. But everyday my mind drifts a little more towards it until I slam the door closed with a drive on to other things. It all feels like distraction, but it’s the only thing I seem to be capable of that makes your absence hurt me less

Sometimes I get stuck without a real goodbye from a person that I thought would be with me forever. And I know my life isn’t unique and other people lose loved ones too, but when they choose to leave me and they refuse to explain, I find myself changing colors and warping until I look more like them

And if I don’t close that book, that story never stops living in my head. They’ve taken my color away but in my world they’re still every bit as bright and vibrant as before, and the glare they cast on my eyes doesn’t get any duller with the passage of time

Everytime I get into a situation where I lose someone, whether that be a breakup or a falling out in a friend group or whatever, I feel like my existence becomes less powerful. I feel like I become blurred and faded at the edges like someone has stripped my flesh away with paint thinner

Classic!