Di
whats-next.bsky.social
Di
@whats-next.bsky.social
I drink from the keg of glory. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land.
First bloom coming soon on my newly planted Ketchup-and-Mustard #roses 😍
April 1, 2025 at 3:12 AM
One day I will remember to ask myself BEFORE I paint my nails if I need to go to the bathroom. Today is not that day.
March 9, 2025 at 4:30 PM
In the year of our lord 2025, why have the people who make the plastic utensil and napkin packets not figured out a way to stop the napkin from becoming infused by the pepper packet?
February 14, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Put me in a clean white shirt and then send me straight into an empty, sterile room where there is absolutely nothing that could possibly stain my white shirt, and I will still emerge from the room with a coffee stain on the shirt.
February 1, 2025 at 4:05 PM
"Can you two wrestle somewhere else, please?"

[Cats fly out of the liquor shelf on my coffee bar and zoom across the house]
January 25, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Reposted by Di
I’m done dating humans. I’ve got a better idea—
January 24, 2025 at 2:04 PM
I'm going to make a dating app called Unhinge where you can and should get reported and banned for not being weird enough.

I don't see any way this could go wrong.
January 23, 2025 at 2:52 AM
When you see someone say "HIPPA," there's an excellent chance it'll be in the context of wild misunderstanding of how HIPAA works.
December 24, 2024 at 8:03 PM
Me, after I clean the perpetual clutter off my kitchen table: this is great, I'm going to keep it nice and clear all the time!

Me, two weeks later: oh no
December 19, 2024 at 4:31 PM
Playtime with Norman and Freddo
December 4, 2024 at 10:30 PM
I've reached an "I need new pants" stage of weight loss and I'm only mad at it because my favorite jeans don't appear to be stocked anymore, so I can't buy a smaller pair.
November 22, 2024 at 2:24 AM
No shade to the pumpkin spice lovers, but dirty chai is the ultimate #fall flavor and we should be embracing it more.
November 16, 2024 at 5:15 PM
Ron Purrgundy loves Fall.
November 15, 2024 at 12:22 AM