“We no longer accept bills larger than $20”
My brother in Christ you no longer SELL anything less than $20

So Instagram is running ads for nazi hookup apps now

Need a bumper sticker that says “my other CAR won’t fucking START”

They want to take over Canada and Greenland so they can control arctic trade routes as soon as the ice caps finish melting

I feel like I’m only getting exposed to 25% of The Discourse on here. Which sounds like it’d be a good thing but it just means I’m still taking psychic damage without even knowing what’s going on

So now that Trump has banned trans people from participating in sports and trans teens from getting transition-related care, all of the "but we just have some concerns" people will surely come out strong in opposition to additional attacks on trans rights, yes? No? Ah well, nevertheless.

Potato yearns for 5G radiation

Those caffeinated chocolate milks only have 60mg a can. But they’re still really good I fear

Turning a CIA black site into a “detention center” is like half a step away from creating a death camp. There’s no other reason they would send immigrants to Guantanamo this is so fucking insane

My favorite part of a date is immediately after it where you scrutinize every single thing you said and did

A dubious little creature is getting up to mischief this is no good

I love how Facebook will give you AI question prompts under posts like “what is the context?” And then you ask it and it’s like “there’s no possible way I could know that”

"free in-store pickup?" yeah. thats what store is.

If we’re gonna rename it I say we call it the gulf of Cuba

Welcome to my Potato fan account