Reposted by Wendi Aarons
"In my tunic, you can’t see any of the middle part of my middle-aged body. I’m shrouded in mystery. I’m a stylish enigma. I’m a greying fortune cookie with a fortune inside it that says, 'Fuck you, I was in shape in the eighties.'"
I’m Wearing Tunics Now
This is an excerpt from the author’s funny new collection, which you can buy here. - - -You’ve probably all noticed that I recently switched up my ...
buff.ly
November 21, 2025 at 2:30 PM
"In my tunic, you can’t see any of the middle part of my middle-aged body. I’m shrouded in mystery. I’m a stylish enigma. I’m a greying fortune cookie with a fortune inside it that says, 'Fuck you, I was in shape in the eighties.'"
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
🎶 Over the river and through the woods,
To Grandmother's house we go;
At the airport on time, which is good cause the lines
Are moving super slow... 🎶
To Grandmother's house we go;
At the airport on time, which is good cause the lines
Are moving super slow... 🎶
To Grandmother’s House We Go
Over the river and through the woods, To Grandmother’s house we go; At the airport on time, which is good cause the lines Are moving super slow. Ov...
buff.ly
November 21, 2025 at 7:28 PM
🎶 Over the river and through the woods,
To Grandmother's house we go;
At the airport on time, which is good cause the lines
Are moving super slow... 🎶
To Grandmother's house we go;
At the airport on time, which is good cause the lines
Are moving super slow... 🎶
A fun piece in @newyorker.com today by me, @miriamjayaratna.bsky.social and Ali Fitzgerald, inspired by Ronnie No Vaccines DeSantis. www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...
Disney World’s New Rides Are Sick
Make sure to wash your hands after Viruses of the Caribbean.
www.newyorker.com
September 29, 2025 at 12:54 PM
A fun piece in @newyorker.com today by me, @miriamjayaratna.bsky.social and Ali Fitzgerald, inspired by Ronnie No Vaccines DeSantis. www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...
Now the nuts are claiming that "college radicalized" the shooter? He lasted one semester in Utah & dropped out -- not exactly Berkeley in 1967.
September 13, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Now the nuts are claiming that "college radicalized" the shooter? He lasted one semester in Utah & dropped out -- not exactly Berkeley in 1967.
Honestly, we should all be kinder. Perhaps his ear injury is acting up after it regenerated itself lizard-style, or he suddenly developed an allergy to the ketchup used in the assassination attempt. Show some compassion, people.
September 1, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Honestly, we should all be kinder. Perhaps his ear injury is acting up after it regenerated itself lizard-style, or he suddenly developed an allergy to the ketchup used in the assassination attempt. Show some compassion, people.
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
August 23, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
Their attacks up your legs are so meticulously coordinated you almost have to respect it. 🐜
If There’s One Carpetbagger All Texans Can Agree On, It’s the Fire Ant
Why the insect is even more evil than you thought.
www.texasmonthly.com
August 7, 2025 at 2:21 PM
Their attacks up your legs are so meticulously coordinated you almost have to respect it. 🐜
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
I got a mention in this excellent piece by @wendiaarons.bsky.social
📣🐜📣
www.texasmonthly.com/travel/why-f...
📣🐜📣
www.texasmonthly.com/travel/why-f...
August 7, 2025 at 1:45 PM
I got a mention in this excellent piece by @wendiaarons.bsky.social
📣🐜📣
www.texasmonthly.com/travel/why-f...
📣🐜📣
www.texasmonthly.com/travel/why-f...
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
Walking out isn't a weakness. It's the only way to stop a rigged game when the dealer is cheating. If you can’t speak for your community inside the chamber, you take the fight outside it. stopthetexassteal.com
#WeStandWithTxDems #TxLege
#WeStandWithTxDems #TxLege
August 3, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Walking out isn't a weakness. It's the only way to stop a rigged game when the dealer is cheating. If you can’t speak for your community inside the chamber, you take the fight outside it. stopthetexassteal.com
#WeStandWithTxDems #TxLege
#WeStandWithTxDems #TxLege
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
I’m on @mcsweeneys.net today with some ideas about how to get a good night’s sleep!
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/how...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/how...
How I Think a King-Sized Bed Would Transform My Love Life
My husband and I gaze at each other while we brush our teeth, savoring these final moments together before we go our separate ways.
I kiss him good...
www.mcsweeneys.net
July 28, 2025 at 1:50 PM
I’m on @mcsweeneys.net today with some ideas about how to get a good night’s sleep!
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/how...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/how...
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
"Millennials want their kids to relive their 1990s summers, but that won’t cut it, because the 1990s had technology, stranger danger, and Coolio. No, I want to go back even farther, to a decade when parents didn’t put trackers on their children’s phones and women couldn’t vote."
I’m Giving My Kids a ’90s Summer—the 1890s
This summer, I’m letting my kids be kids. No camps or enriching activities that’ll get them into an Ivy in ten years. No screen time or YouTube or ...
buff.ly
July 27, 2025 at 2:01 PM
"Millennials want their kids to relive their 1990s summers, but that won’t cut it, because the 1990s had technology, stranger danger, and Coolio. No, I want to go back even farther, to a decade when parents didn’t put trackers on their children’s phones and women couldn’t vote."
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
"Winning trivia night at the bar you went to in college."
How Gen X Can Make Money in This Economy
Winning trivia night at the bar you went to in college. - - - Dance partner in a high-end pharmaceutical commercial. - - - Social media influencer...
buff.ly
July 19, 2025 at 6:32 PM
"Winning trivia night at the bar you went to in college."
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
"At daybreak, I’ll hand my children their metal lunch pails, button their fifty-button shoes, and they’ll shuffle off to their factory jobs, because in the Gilded Age, and southern states in the 2020s, no snowflake child labor laws exist."
I’m Giving My Kids a ’90s Summer—the 1890s
This summer, I’m letting my kids be kids. No camps or enriching activities that’ll get them into an Ivy in ten years. No screen time or YouTube or ...
buff.ly
July 24, 2025 at 1:41 AM
"At daybreak, I’ll hand my children their metal lunch pails, button their fifty-button shoes, and they’ll shuffle off to their factory jobs, because in the Gilded Age, and southern states in the 2020s, no snowflake child labor laws exist."
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
The third book will open some eyes for sure.
The Six Books Donald Trump Is Reading This Summer
Yep.
buff.ly
July 24, 2025 at 1:20 AM
The third book will open some eyes for sure.
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
Excellent parenting advice from @wendiaarons.bsky.social!
July 23, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Excellent parenting advice from @wendiaarons.bsky.social!
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
"Just like the 1890s and the 2020s, they’ll play with the unvaccinated kids down the street and drink raw milk until dark. Then at daybreak, I’ll hand my children their metal lunch pails, button their fifty-button shoes, and they’ll shuffle off to their factory jobs."
I’m Giving My Kids a ’90s Summer—the 1890s
This summer, I’m letting my kids be kids. No camps or enriching activities that’ll get them into an Ivy in ten years. No screen time or YouTube or ...
buff.ly
July 22, 2025 at 6:29 PM
"Just like the 1890s and the 2020s, they’ll play with the unvaccinated kids down the street and drink raw milk until dark. Then at daybreak, I’ll hand my children their metal lunch pails, button their fifty-button shoes, and they’ll shuffle off to their factory jobs."
A new one from me today on @mcsweeneys.net!
I’m Giving My Kids a ’90s Summer—the 1890s
This summer, I’m letting my kids be kids. No camps or enriching activities that’ll get them into an Ivy in ten years. No screen time or YouTube or ...
www.mcsweeneys.net
July 22, 2025 at 6:05 PM
A new one from me today on @mcsweeneys.net!
Remember when they tried to convince us that Melania got an Einstein visa because she has "an architecture degree"?
July 21, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Remember when they tried to convince us that Melania got an Einstein visa because she has "an architecture degree"?
Has Andy Byron been named head of NASA yet?
July 19, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Has Andy Byron been named head of NASA yet?
I've never had an affair, but aren't they typically held in a motel off the interstate? I didn't know they involved TICKETMASTER.
July 17, 2025 at 11:37 PM
I've never had an affair, but aren't they typically held in a motel off the interstate? I didn't know they involved TICKETMASTER.
I wish they'd show a photo of who Bezos and Fish Lips keep waving at in Venice because I imagine it's 200 Italians giving them the finger.
June 28, 2025 at 7:02 PM
I wish they'd show a photo of who Bezos and Fish Lips keep waving at in Venice because I imagine it's 200 Italians giving them the finger.
For those of you just joining us, welcome.
June 19, 2025 at 1:36 AM
For those of you just joining us, welcome.
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
“You will receive money from an unexpected fraud.”
Fortune 500 Cookies
Fortune 500 Cookies
buff.ly
June 17, 2025 at 1:59 AM
“You will receive money from an unexpected fraud.”
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
"Interrupt others with your more important ideas."
Fortune 500 Cookies
Fortune 500 Cookies
buff.ly
June 13, 2025 at 3:25 PM
"Interrupt others with your more important ideas."
Reposted by Wendi Aarons
The future is looking bright….for the 1%
June 13, 2025 at 2:18 PM
The future is looking bright….for the 1%