My God.

Trump doesn't even respect good whiskey.

"Have you no decency, sir? At long last, have you no sense of decency??"

Trump pulled back his freeze on federal grants & loans after huge outcries, even from Republicans ("Hey, this program is in MY district!").

Clueless overreach? Or a stress test?

Look. The whole mess has already left the headlines.

Next time, the cuts will be more targeted.

Something I've always thought would be way-cool to have.

Dark-red kitchen cabinets.

Remember when Dave Chappelle opened SNL 8 years ago? He said he didn't know Trump was going to win. "And yet, I know the whites. . . . Haven't seen white people this mad since the OJ verdict."

I wonder, tonight, if he'll say even he was surprised we elected an internet troll - again.

I want to see TikTok banned for reasons other than Chinese espionage into mascara tutorials and pet tricks. Instead, I'd like to ruin a media platform for millions who've shown us their desperate narcissism + some mad lip-synching skills.

The puzzle is why Donald Trump doesn't want to do the same.

Just for grins . . . we could make it an even smaller inauguration crowd this time. It'll drive him nuts.

Hitler's back in the news - for Austria, Greenland, who can tell? Anyway, in "The Producers," Dick Shawn played a hip-shaking Hitler. So I've updated one song.

Gonna crush Greenland,
Forget about J. D. Vance
[repeat first lines]
Then I'll cross that Gulf of America,
And kick Panama in the pants.

Dallas, 9 am. 32 degrees.
Young people in parking lot catching sleet on their tongues.
100% chance of precipitation in the next hour - i.e., rain.
So this kinda looks to be today's major snowstorm.

Huh. There's no kitchen.

I think everyone's just looking for coffee.

You KNOW that someone just mentioned in passing to Trump, hey, turns out climate change is true. All the glaciers really are melting. But I hear there's still plenty of ice in Greenland.

And that's all it took.

Yeah, it's gotten bitter cold in Dallas. But then the sun has come out every day.

Of course, coming up this week: 90% chance of rain - at 30 degrees.

To quote "Greater Tuna" . . . Texas weather.