#WhatIDoWithNutsIs confine them humanely where they can receive the most modern treatment.
November 10, 2025 at 3:18 AM
#WhatIDoWithNutsIs confine them humanely where they can receive the most modern treatment.
#WhatIDoWithNutsIs make them into a sort of loaf with monkey chow and raisins.
November 10, 2025 at 3:14 AM
#WhatIDoWithNutsIs make them into a sort of loaf with monkey chow and raisins.
Okay, Death is on the mound , he's winding up, and #HereComesThe snake!
November 10, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Okay, Death is on the mound , he's winding up, and #HereComesThe snake!
#WhenICookIMake enough for everybody.
November 3, 2025 at 3:27 AM
#WhenICookIMake enough for everybody.
#WhenICookIMake somebody else clean up, but I guess I been alone a while.
November 3, 2025 at 3:21 AM
#WhenICookIMake somebody else clean up, but I guess I been alone a while.
#WhenICookIMake Pork Me, because I am at heart a child.
November 3, 2025 at 3:18 AM
#WhenICookIMake Pork Me, because I am at heart a child.
Yep, I was on the ferry boat that day. Aliens #DroppedTheBall right down over the harbor and scooped up old Lady Liberty with some kind of tractor beam.
November 1, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Yep, I was on the ferry boat that day. Aliens #DroppedTheBall right down over the harbor and scooped up old Lady Liberty with some kind of tractor beam.
But then she #DroppedTheBall and the blackest of all possible futures was unleashed. And that is how I met your mama.
November 1, 2025 at 2:21 AM
But then she #DroppedTheBall and the blackest of all possible futures was unleashed. And that is how I met your mama.
#WhenImNotAroundPeople I'm communing with nature.
October 30, 2025 at 3:49 AM
#WhenImNotAroundPeople I'm communing with nature.
Everything was lovely, however, I find the audible weeping and cursing #WhenIEatTooMuch unprofessional and distracting.
October 26, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Everything was lovely, however, I find the audible weeping and cursing #WhenIEatTooMuch unprofessional and distracting.
#WhenIEatTooMuch I smoke weed until it feels like just the right amount.
October 26, 2025 at 12:17 AM
#WhenIEatTooMuch I smoke weed until it feels like just the right amount.
Not exactly. A Basquiat crown has perpendicular sides that don't flare out. It looks more like the crown in this famous old painting that may be where Jean-Michel first got the idea (and it looks like what anybody would draw if you just give them a marker and a piece of paper, even before Basquiat).
October 25, 2025 at 12:15 PM
Not exactly. A Basquiat crown has perpendicular sides that don't flare out. It looks more like the crown in this famous old painting that may be where Jean-Michel first got the idea (and it looks like what anybody would draw if you just give them a marker and a piece of paper, even before Basquiat).
#AtThisPoint we pause for a few words from our sponsor.
October 25, 2025 at 2:10 AM
#AtThisPoint we pause for a few words from our sponsor.
#AtThisPoint it only hurts when I laugh.
October 25, 2025 at 2:07 AM
#AtThisPoint it only hurts when I laugh.
And it's not like Jean-Michel actually invented the Jughead hat.
October 21, 2025 at 5:45 PM
And it's not like Jean-Michel actually invented the Jughead hat.
#RunningOutOf bullets, start throwing milk.
October 20, 2025 at 1:32 AM
#RunningOutOf bullets, start throwing milk.
#RunningOutOf space, I may have to clean out the old store room.
October 20, 2025 at 1:22 AM
#RunningOutOf space, I may have to clean out the old store room.
No reason for alarm, that's just me #RunningOutOf another intervention.
October 20, 2025 at 1:13 AM
No reason for alarm, that's just me #RunningOutOf another intervention.
#OnTheTrainRideISee the usual suspects.
October 6, 2025 at 2:31 AM
#OnTheTrainRideISee the usual suspects.