If you’re seeking out an autism and/or ADHD diagnosis, I cannot recommend this route enough. Bring it up with your GP & they’ll go through it with you.

Life’s too short to live without closure.

To add: I’m very aware how lucky I am to have been seen as quickly as I was, & that’s entirely thanks to the Right To Choose policy we have here in the UK.

I’d still be waiting for years if I hadn’t found out about this, which I only did because my best friend got diagnosed the year before.

There’s no guarantee these meds will fix any/everything, but I do enjoy the possibility of getting a little closer to being friends with the inside of my head.

My country has many issues, but I will never not be indebted to the NHS for allowing me to finally vindicate my younger self for free. ✌️

Now there’s a chance I’ll be able to work in collaboration with my brain, instead of constantly fighting against it.

I have lived my entire life at odds with my own mind. The mere concept of being able to get stuff done without endless mental hurdles to leap over in the process is foreign to me.

I’ve overcome far harder things in my 32 years than a qualification in coding — but I did almost all of that shit raw, with zero treatment, therapy or psychological help of any kind*.

*Not through choice, it simply wasn’t available for my area or specific needs.

FUND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES.

It’s nice (and cheesy) to hold something in my hand representative of the hurdles I’ve breached over the years, in spite of my brain.

Make no mistake, I am proud of myself & don’t regret doing this course — as stressful as my abysmal time management skills may have made the overall experience. 🫠

Following a handful of deadline extensions & resubmissions, I officially earned my Level 2 certificate in Understanding Coding on October 2nd.

One month later (November 6th), I was officially diagnosed with ADHD.

My physical certificate arrived yesterday, and my meds arrived this morning.

It was actually my gender doctor who suggested to me in 2020 to pursue an ADHD diagnosis — which I did eventually get round to doing … 4.5 years later. 😅

After over a year of admin fuckups, delays, mental breakdowns & other delicious flavours of stress — ya boi finally got his appointment.

I was just watching my life go by and doing next to nothing with it.

Although I’ve achieved some very cool stuff in my time, I still felt like an utter failure for not capitalising on all the potential I used to have.

I felt like I’d let everyone else down, even more so than myself.

As I got older, it became harder & harder to focus, to be present, to process basic information, to enjoy things, to remember stuff, to act on my ideas, to do ANYTHING.

I had so many things I wanted to do, to write, to film, to say, to make.

And I just … didn’t. I couldn’t.

So even after being diagnosed with autism in 2009 and EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder — also known as Borderline Personality Disorder) in 2012, something still felt missing.

Because it was!

This was a diagnosis I was actually originally denied 20yrs ago, because my symptoms were often masked or “cancelled out” by then-undiagnosed autism & there wasn’t as much understanding of neurodivergence comorbidity as there is today. That and “only boys” had AuDHD, and I wasn’t a boy yet.

With each looming deadline, it became more & more evident that finally chasing an ADHD diagnosis was the most sensible decision I’d made recently — not just for my current Quality of Life™️, but also for 17yo Emmett who’d dropped out of college after years of burnout & never forgave himself for it.

Earlier this year, I enrolled on a 10-week coding course because:

👉 Useful life skill

👉 I’m a glutton for punishment

👉 Clinging desperately to the student experience I never had in my youth

Are you TtT (Toblerone to Testosterone) or TtT (Testosterone to Toblerone)

Happy green owl with white warpaint (does not care for sports but likes to be included)

OR

Sleazy pupil-less bird about to put something in my drink