Unreported VT News
@vtfakeheadlines.bsky.social
Just the headlines. Inconsistent capitalization
Big Changes Afoot For all You T-heads
November 30, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Big Changes Afoot For all You T-heads
It's 2030. Eli Lesser-Goldsmith looks on as PFAS leach from the CVU AstroTurf field. Some sports happen and nobody gets grass stains on their outfit. A soggy Canva graphic blows past in a wet wind, catching a lamppost and peeling back off as quickly as it stuck
November 28, 2025 at 2:16 PM
It's 2030. Eli Lesser-Goldsmith looks on as PFAS leach from the CVU AstroTurf field. Some sports happen and nobody gets grass stains on their outfit. A soggy Canva graphic blows past in a wet wind, catching a lamppost and peeling back off as quickly as it stuck
The Searchlight Institute blends stirring harmonies with waist-level photos, dropping the tired tropes of social justice and climate change for tweaks to the tax code and finding common ground with fascism. Mumfords's sons call them"the adults in the room." Spotify thinks you'll like them
September 17, 2025 at 3:54 PM
The Searchlight Institute blends stirring harmonies with waist-level photos, dropping the tired tropes of social justice and climate change for tweaks to the tax code and finding common ground with fascism. Mumfords's sons call them"the adults in the room." Spotify thinks you'll like them
My neighbor's flag isn't at half mast to honor dead Nazis
September 15, 2025 at 8:09 PM
My neighbor's flag isn't at half mast to honor dead Nazis
No, seriously, @shelburnemuseum.bsky.social who decided this was the right move? Wtf is wrong with you? Do the Rockefeller/Vanderbilt/Webb descendents have some sort of RFK Jr. complex happening on the steering committee? This is Nazi shit
September 15, 2025 at 3:24 AM
No, seriously, @shelburnemuseum.bsky.social who decided this was the right move? Wtf is wrong with you? Do the Rockefeller/Vanderbilt/Webb descendents have some sort of RFK Jr. complex happening on the steering committee? This is Nazi shit
Queen City Teases Fun Evening with Qualifier-laden Superlative
June 30, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Queen City Teases Fun Evening with Qualifier-laden Superlative
...leaving Mr. Sidefade completely susceptible to the emissions of Mr. Bicep Tome
June 9, 2025 at 10:17 PM
...leaving Mr. Sidefade completely susceptible to the emissions of Mr. Bicep Tome
"She's an iiiice melter, weeeeed killer....salt shaker"
June 7, 2025 at 11:13 PM
"She's an iiiice melter, weeeeed killer....salt shaker"
Restaurant That Once Replaced Queen City's Vintage McDonalds Strives for Contemporary Golden Arches Aesthetic in New Williston Location
May 21, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Restaurant That Once Replaced Queen City's Vintage McDonalds Strives for Contemporary Golden Arches Aesthetic in New Williston Location
Essex - New Waste of Time, Money, and Self Respect Just Dropped
May 18, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Essex - New Waste of Time, Money, and Self Respect Just Dropped
Wolfgang sitting there at the end of the assembly line with a Dremel, signing spoon after spoon, slowly dying inside
April 18, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Wolfgang sitting there at the end of the assembly line with a Dremel, signing spoon after spoon, slowly dying inside
Learn the hot new dance "movement" everyone is learning as #teslatakedown takes off.
By the Kings of Yam
By the Kings of Yam
March 23, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Learn the hot new dance "movement" everyone is learning as #teslatakedown takes off.
By the Kings of Yam
By the Kings of Yam
It's kind of sweet that a Jewish Hitler and Christian Hitler are friends.
March 14, 2025 at 1:36 AM
It's kind of sweet that a Jewish Hitler and Christian Hitler are friends.
Joe's Pond Sti----- One Of Jason Statham's Characters Should Meet These Cysts Down By The Docks
March 12, 2025 at 3:16 AM
Joe's Pond Sti----- One Of Jason Statham's Characters Should Meet These Cysts Down By The Docks
Princeton Vice in '46
March 4, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Princeton Vice in '46
Phil Scott Requests that You Allow The 3rd-in-Command Genital & Uterus Inspector Enjoy a Private Weekend With His Family
February 28, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Phil Scott Requests that You Allow The 3rd-in-Command Genital & Uterus Inspector Enjoy a Private Weekend With His Family
This Is the Kind of Clarity We Need in All NPR Headlines
February 18, 2025 at 4:43 PM
This Is the Kind of Clarity We Need in All NPR Headlines
COED NAKED Colonial Exploration
February 17, 2025 at 5:46 PM
COED NAKED Colonial Exploration
Sleep well, Shirt Brother
February 16, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Sleep well, Shirt Brother
Huntington - Okay We Get It You Guys
February 15, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Huntington - Okay We Get It You Guys
This but for the RFK Jr. worm
February 14, 2025 at 3:54 PM
This but for the RFK Jr. worm