Makes me wonder what a Rock Lobster would look like...

Should make it easy to figure out what the reactions are in that case

They're expecting a phoenix. They deserve a balrog.

I thought for sure this would be a story about cocaine

Some smartass kid out in the street selling fragments of the "True Jersey"

And the name of the act?

The Aristocrats!

I just had the strangest idea for Amazon's next Bond film.

Thankfully it's not a catapult

Like the one kid that was always the center of attention, good or ill.

Every so often I get these flashes of seeing the States as high school kids in a cafeteria, screwing around and talking about all the things. Florida is the one that inevitably makes the entire room stop and stare with various expressions of awe, disgust, and outright fear.

The Crystal World is full of magnificently horrific beauty

I swear to God if this turns out to be Landru...

I will live and die a pirate king!

Did C. Montgomery Burns come up with this?!

Is it possible that he's no longer in charge of his own healthcare?

Sweet baby calico. Leave it to a cat to make the abyss blink.

He Bill on his Clinton till he Whitewater

Make it a fucking statue