makes sense considering how shes reacted in the past which made me vow to never fully tell her anything, but inconvenient when I do need a bit of her help for certain things cause my avoidance and anxiety takes over and stops asking for help

I wish I wasnt like this,, overwhelming shame

I actually talked w my mom yday cause shes been like really worried and I can tell she wants to help but at the same time I can tell she still doesnt understand my mental state fully,, I want to explain to her but I feel like theres a huge wall in my mind blocking me from being more vulnerable

I feel a bit better today but still feel like every breath is weighed down by 5 pound weights

I kind of wanna do some drawing today, maybe in my sketchbook instead of digital

when breathing starts to get harder and limbs feel heavier and eyes never feel fully focused but you gotta still act like you dont feel like an animated corpse

really needed that one to sink in a bit

wait these are so good youre right they scratch an itch in my brain,, so4 is such a sopping wet thing

tanku for the link 🔥

this is so pathetic I feel stupid and pathetic

just need to. calm down before i go

i forget i have really bad social anxiety until these things happen