Of all the unhinged things I've posted on Twitter over the years, never expected the tweet about the white house account posting like clout chasing tweens would be the one that gets me banned.

Getting old is seeing the new generation of slang and actively despising it. It just sounds like toddler talk to me now.

Laying in bed about to pass out and suddenly remembered the time I was roofied by a stripper & when I came to, she was giving me a lap dance. I don't think anything beyond that happened, but the whole situation just has me perplexed. What was the point of drugging me? You already had me in your home

Just had a whole big bang theory episode happen in the back of my car where these drunk turbonerds had a full on argument about whether star wars or star trek is the better franchise, with the dome light on the ENTIRE time. I hate big bang theory btw, shit show from a butt

a classic

People born after I already graduated high-school have already graduated high school. Not the realization I wanted today

Alright.

Some dipshit flipped their car several times right in front of me while cutting up traffic & going like 120. I stopped & amongst others, helped the passengers out of the car. somehow, neither even bleeding, and one started swinging on us like it's our fault, then went back to hide shit in the car.

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I love my babies

Someone today told me you can kill goku in the new DragonBall game and now I must buy it

I finally remember my password!