grandma having a stroke, turmoil with friends, emotions that ran way too high only to crash and fucking burn and take months to process, a constant lull and dissociating eating away half the year on its own

feels like such a waste, i wanna do more this year

i want to cry so much but im too exhausted to do that, im just gonna lay here for a while

it hurts SO much holy fuck today was a disaster in every possible way

WOAH THIS IS ACTUALLY HUGE, THAT'S AWESOME TO HEAR!! 💜

But I want to so bad
So bad it hurts
So bad I try to tear at my skin just to sate it
Why? This never makes sense to me and yet the compulsion to stays forever strong

Can it ever be different? Can I ever be different? Is this truly the best I can muster up?

How sad. I’m sorry, grandma.

It’ll be my turn eventually and maybe that’s why I can’t do it, no matter how painful things get. I wouldn’t get to eat ice cream anymore, watch my favorite shows, listen to my favorite songs, hear my friends light up over the things they love, see all that passion and lust for LIFE

I’m really glad to hear you’re okay and safe — if you ever need anything please please please let me know, I hope things get better mentally and emotionally and that before you know it the worst of those feelings pass 💜 life is definitely worth living and it’ll always be better having you here.

COME THE FUCK ON MAN
JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP NEXT TIME AND LEARN TO MANAGE YOUR ANGER BETTER

YOU HAD A CHANCE TO HAVE SOMEONE INFINITELY BETTER AND YOU FUCKED IT UP FOR EVERYONE

FUCK

seriously get to 1:28 in the track and tell me that shit doesn't make you wanna vibe for the next 123138745375 hours (you'd be lying)

seriously this shit is SUCH A FUCKING GROOVE MAN
I was listening to this in MIDDLE SCHOOL?? This has aged so incredibly well, my god

THIS IS SO CUTE!!

I just wanna sleep.