At the end of the news when they say “and now for the news where you are” I always say “what, in the living room?”
I even do it when I’m watching on my own now.

18 year old son recycling bottles the other day. "Dad, where's glass go?" "West of Scotland, son"

Order a few drinks at the bar, bar person asks "Do you want a tray?", "no thanks, I've got enough to carry as it is".

This is very specific to people who use the Metro in the North East but there is a station called Brockley Whins and the obvious 'Carrot loses' response when it is announced never fails to embarrass kids. I even messaged my niece when she was sat further up the carriage. She replied with 'idiot'.😂

When a waiter pours a dribble of wine for me to taste, I'll sip it and say, "We'll soon get used to it." Always fails to raise a laugh.

I love picking up the “Super Seeded” bread in supermarkets and announcing to everyone with me that “this one’s been already obsolete!”

Queuing at a DIY store, I was behind a chap buying a large prefabricated fencing panel. He turned round and caught me hard with the edge of it - he was profusely apologetic, but when I replied “It’s OK, I won’t take a fence”, absolutely nothing. 🤦

Just the other day, I was buying two of the same book, in the bookshop, as pressies. The lady asked me if I was sure I needed two and I said yes, I'm going to read it twice. She just looked at me.

Within 5 minutes....

Can't wait to see what they look like in the flesh

Happy with getting 5 years back tbh