Yes the normal, the abnormal…none of what’s going on is good except for those in the circle.

We’re all going to be harmed, and all we can do is try to avoid it

Thank you. I don’t want to see people be harmed but I just think that we’ve been overcome by fear that has us making decisions that, if you’re in a position of power, makes you less inclined to help not in those positions…and I don’t know what to do to alleviate the American virus that’s befallen us

Thank you for your response. I try, but it seems like the world has been demonized moreso than ever (there’s always been a fair degree of it) as well as my own personal turmoil and the combination of it is…staggering. But again: God Bless and thank you for following along 💜

And doing this (perhaps inspired by lyricists I grew up with like Tupac and Eminem) is better than...whatever other alternative there is out there

If you read to this point...I don't know what resonated with you, but we must have a kinship somehow, so thank you for your diligence and God bless

I don't know what my point is in all this, I'm kind of assuming no one will read this or, if they do, scroll past it

I'm just....I'm at a point where I can keep it all together if things go ok

But if I get triggered into some sort of, I don't know, dysphoric state...I start to spiral

And while saying all this...financially, I'm doing better than I have in years (thanks to some inheritance from these deaths in my life)

So, for many I'd say life would improve significantly if finances improve but for me...the only word I can think of despite these monetary gains is "sorrow"

I'm on the precipice of turning 40 (about 40ish days from now) and I've been transitioning for over 5 years now & I feel like I'm going backwards, I've been misgendered more recently than in previous times, and I just want to assume the fetal position & stay there indefinitely until whatever comes

It doesn't help that my personal life has been traumatic for the last couple years: mom suddenly passing away, grandma dying, brother dying, car accident, LA fires/raids...and then writing a play that was my magnus opum, that ended up being possibly more traumatic than any of those other events

I have no faith that anything in this world is fixable.

That doesn't mean there aren't a tremendous amount of people who are doing good on a daily basis, because they are and that's amazing.

But it's not enough. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and we've reached the tipping point of that maxim

This isn't just about the state of our country, and where we're heading...although that, alone, is reason enough to be lost in angst.

I'm trans. I'm older. I've tried to leave, but I have no realistic escape. Canada won't take me. I don't have any links to other countries.

I don't know where to go

I reposted this because it tickled my fancy a little, but also to see if I could do a re-post, and then go back and try to add something (like a pithy rejoinder of some sorts) and make it a quote post...not seeing how I could do this...?

A beautiful corollary to “it’s not the destination, it’s the journey”

More info in pinned post