I used to drive by a Whole Foods pretty often and the light in the W on their sign was always out. One time I said to my partner "Hole Foods: Foods For Your Hole™" and now that's just how I think of the whole chain.
December 17, 2025 at 6:35 PM
I used to drive by a Whole Foods pretty often and the light in the W on their sign was always out. One time I said to my partner "Hole Foods: Foods For Your Hole™" and now that's just how I think of the whole chain.
Peper Parper and Mimles Mormalmes as Spiper-Pap and Smimer-Mam.
December 14, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Peper Parper and Mimles Mormalmes as Spiper-Pap and Smimer-Mam.
I know this is an insane opinion but I think all Titan mains should be banned from Destiny 2. If you like big pauldrons go play Warhammer 40k Space Marine.
December 14, 2025 at 4:54 AM
I know this is an insane opinion but I think all Titan mains should be banned from Destiny 2. If you like big pauldrons go play Warhammer 40k Space Marine.
Screaming and flexing is exhausting, if I were in Dragonball Z I'd gather energy for my next attack by laying on the couch and watching Murder She Wrote
December 4, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Screaming and flexing is exhausting, if I were in Dragonball Z I'd gather energy for my next attack by laying on the couch and watching Murder She Wrote
Had a dream someone was telling me about a 1920s guitarist they were super into named Fitna. They said "I love Fitna" and I got so excited to say "yeah, fitn'a big dick in your mouth" that I woke up from the dream.
November 30, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Had a dream someone was telling me about a 1920s guitarist they were super into named Fitna. They said "I love Fitna" and I got so excited to say "yeah, fitn'a big dick in your mouth" that I woke up from the dream.
David Byrne voice: "Take a look at this ass, the ass of a government man"
November 14, 2025 at 11:35 PM
David Byrne voice: "Take a look at this ass, the ass of a government man"
Treat every company that advertises like you would a guy who paid millions of dollars to tell everyone he had normal sized balls.
November 13, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Treat every company that advertises like you would a guy who paid millions of dollars to tell everyone he had normal sized balls.
Intestines only know digest, inflict suffering, and lie
November 12, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Intestines only know digest, inflict suffering, and lie
Woke up with Video Game Opinions™
November 7, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Woke up with Video Game Opinions™
[spoilers for Mass Effect 1-3]The story of Mass Effect is that the Big Hands are going to destroy the galaxy if Soldier Dipshit doesn't stop them. At the end of the story the Big Hands destroy the galaxy, except for Soldier Dipshit, their friends, and Seth Green.
November 7, 2025 at 7:24 PM
[spoilers for Mass Effect 1-3]The story of Mass Effect is that the Big Hands are going to destroy the galaxy if Soldier Dipshit doesn't stop them. At the end of the story the Big Hands destroy the galaxy, except for Soldier Dipshit, their friends, and Seth Green.
Player characters in Elden Ring have big bodies and tiny heads and if anyone mentions it people say Heroic Proportions, but I've never heard of Tiny Head being a heroic proportion. It looks like shit.
November 7, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Player characters in Elden Ring have big bodies and tiny heads and if anyone mentions it people say Heroic Proportions, but I've never heard of Tiny Head being a heroic proportion. It looks like shit.
I think if you lit Jimmy Fallon on fire he'd burn from the inside out like an old tree
October 28, 2025 at 2:49 AM
I think if you lit Jimmy Fallon on fire he'd burn from the inside out like an old tree
Quinoa tastes like if they made fake broccoli the way they make fake meat
October 20, 2025 at 1:53 AM
Quinoa tastes like if they made fake broccoli the way they make fake meat
Plumbers turn off the water to the house. 2 minutes later:
Plumber 1: "Hey can I use your bathroom?"
Yeah man no worries, I guess there's one flush left in there.
Literally 1 minute after that:
Plumber 2: "Hey can I use your bathroom too?"
Yeah man I guess we can just let the piss sit there.
Plumber 1: "Hey can I use your bathroom?"
Yeah man no worries, I guess there's one flush left in there.
Literally 1 minute after that:
Plumber 2: "Hey can I use your bathroom too?"
Yeah man I guess we can just let the piss sit there.
October 6, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Plumbers turn off the water to the house. 2 minutes later:
Plumber 1: "Hey can I use your bathroom?"
Yeah man no worries, I guess there's one flush left in there.
Literally 1 minute after that:
Plumber 2: "Hey can I use your bathroom too?"
Yeah man I guess we can just let the piss sit there.
Plumber 1: "Hey can I use your bathroom?"
Yeah man no worries, I guess there's one flush left in there.
Literally 1 minute after that:
Plumber 2: "Hey can I use your bathroom too?"
Yeah man I guess we can just let the piss sit there.
Not many people know this but it's possible to play songs that aren't from Legend of Zelda games on musical instruments as well
September 29, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Not many people know this but it's possible to play songs that aren't from Legend of Zelda games on musical instruments as well
There needs to be a standardized rating system for how much a game/movie/show sucks off the cops.
September 19, 2025 at 7:16 PM
There needs to be a standardized rating system for how much a game/movie/show sucks off the cops.
Every murder mystery TV show has an episode about Horse Crimes
September 17, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Every murder mystery TV show has an episode about Horse Crimes
Nintendo is the Disney of Video Games
September 12, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Nintendo is the Disney of Video Games
On some level, deep down, aren't we all cornholio?
September 5, 2025 at 6:19 PM
On some level, deep down, aren't we all cornholio?
There's a song from the movie Dark Star about Benson, Arizona that I get stuck in my head all the time and if someone mentions a city comma state name that fits I always sing it in my head. Occasionally I sing it out loud and nobody knows what the fuck I'm talking about.
August 31, 2025 at 7:42 PM
There's a song from the movie Dark Star about Benson, Arizona that I get stuck in my head all the time and if someone mentions a city comma state name that fits I always sing it in my head. Occasionally I sing it out loud and nobody knows what the fuck I'm talking about.
Schools: Spend decades assigning the same essays and requiring students to write garbage by forcing a minimum word count/page length
Also schools: Furious that students would rather have the garbage generator generate their garbage than write it by hand.
Also schools: Furious that students would rather have the garbage generator generate their garbage than write it by hand.
August 30, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Schools: Spend decades assigning the same essays and requiring students to write garbage by forcing a minimum word count/page length
Also schools: Furious that students would rather have the garbage generator generate their garbage than write it by hand.
Also schools: Furious that students would rather have the garbage generator generate their garbage than write it by hand.
is there a beer festival called Burping Man yet
August 18, 2025 at 8:41 PM
is there a beer festival called Burping Man yet
I understand your perspective. Unfortunately I have already repeated your argument in a Kermit the Frog voice with a sad inflection.
August 1, 2025 at 7:00 PM
I understand your perspective. Unfortunately I have already repeated your argument in a Kermit the Frog voice with a sad inflection.
Game devs will be like "Okay we've got some great systems, the feel is fantastic, the art is perfect. Now we just need to find some way to make it worse to play... That's it! You can't save any of your equipment or levelling up and have to replay the same level over and over again to progress!"
August 1, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Game devs will be like "Okay we've got some great systems, the feel is fantastic, the art is perfect. Now we just need to find some way to make it worse to play... That's it! You can't save any of your equipment or levelling up and have to replay the same level over and over again to progress!"