Valeyard (he/him)
@valeyard512.bsky.social
Aspiring singer-songwriter, thinking of going back to college to study music therapy
Age 34
Possibly NSFW stuff, so 18+ please
Single
Age 34
Possibly NSFW stuff, so 18+ please
Single
Finally crossed the big 3-0-0 threshold recently~! Enjoy~! ; )
September 25, 2025 at 5:26 AM
Finally crossed the big 3-0-0 threshold recently~! Enjoy~! ; )
11. Winston - 'Overwatch'
If I felt shame for any of these picks, it'd be for this one, not for the character, but the company. ActivisionBlizzard don't deserve a character this adorkable and sweet. I might've been tempted to join 'Overwatch' had they not done...all the things wrong with it.
If I felt shame for any of these picks, it'd be for this one, not for the character, but the company. ActivisionBlizzard don't deserve a character this adorkable and sweet. I might've been tempted to join 'Overwatch' had they not done...all the things wrong with it.
September 1, 2025 at 2:08 AM
11. Winston - 'Overwatch'
If I felt shame for any of these picks, it'd be for this one, not for the character, but the company. ActivisionBlizzard don't deserve a character this adorkable and sweet. I might've been tempted to join 'Overwatch' had they not done...all the things wrong with it.
If I felt shame for any of these picks, it'd be for this one, not for the character, but the company. ActivisionBlizzard don't deserve a character this adorkable and sweet. I might've been tempted to join 'Overwatch' had they not done...all the things wrong with it.
10. Pan - 'Castlevania: Lords of Shadow'
This one comes with an asterisk: I like Pan in this game in any form that *isn't* his ugly Silver Warrior form with the bland color palette and horned tits. Love his voice, love his personality, love everything else about him; just leave the armor at home.
This one comes with an asterisk: I like Pan in this game in any form that *isn't* his ugly Silver Warrior form with the bland color palette and horned tits. Love his voice, love his personality, love everything else about him; just leave the armor at home.
September 1, 2025 at 1:20 AM
10. Pan - 'Castlevania: Lords of Shadow'
This one comes with an asterisk: I like Pan in this game in any form that *isn't* his ugly Silver Warrior form with the bland color palette and horned tits. Love his voice, love his personality, love everything else about him; just leave the armor at home.
This one comes with an asterisk: I like Pan in this game in any form that *isn't* his ugly Silver Warrior form with the bland color palette and horned tits. Love his voice, love his personality, love everything else about him; just leave the armor at home.
Did some baking for a Thanksgiving in Summer thing with family! Made pão de queijo for the event~!
August 2, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Did some baking for a Thanksgiving in Summer thing with family! Made pão de queijo for the event~!
Happy Tummy Tuesday~!
July 15, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Happy Tummy Tuesday~!
Had the first performance of the opera I'm in yesterday! It was a grand old time, and my mom took some pictures! Enjoy!
July 14, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Had the first performance of the opera I'm in yesterday! It was a grand old time, and my mom took some pictures! Enjoy!
9. Mr. Saguaro - 'Pokemon Scarlet & Violet'
I guess I'm a sucker for scary looking dudes that love cute things. My IRL self likely would've flunked every class from the other teachers in these games, but goddamn if I wouldn't ace all the Home Ec classes just to win this man's approval.
I guess I'm a sucker for scary looking dudes that love cute things. My IRL self likely would've flunked every class from the other teachers in these games, but goddamn if I wouldn't ace all the Home Ec classes just to win this man's approval.
July 11, 2025 at 5:25 PM
9. Mr. Saguaro - 'Pokemon Scarlet & Violet'
I guess I'm a sucker for scary looking dudes that love cute things. My IRL self likely would've flunked every class from the other teachers in these games, but goddamn if I wouldn't ace all the Home Ec classes just to win this man's approval.
I guess I'm a sucker for scary looking dudes that love cute things. My IRL self likely would've flunked every class from the other teachers in these games, but goddamn if I wouldn't ace all the Home Ec classes just to win this man's approval.
8. Lanayru - 'Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword'
Told you there's be more 'LoZ'. I've made it no secret I hate 'Skyward Sword', but out of all the characters, besides Batreaux, Lanayru was the only one I found myself connecting with.
Told you there's be more 'LoZ'. I've made it no secret I hate 'Skyward Sword', but out of all the characters, besides Batreaux, Lanayru was the only one I found myself connecting with.
July 11, 2025 at 4:51 PM
8. Lanayru - 'Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword'
Told you there's be more 'LoZ'. I've made it no secret I hate 'Skyward Sword', but out of all the characters, besides Batreaux, Lanayru was the only one I found myself connecting with.
Told you there's be more 'LoZ'. I've made it no secret I hate 'Skyward Sword', but out of all the characters, besides Batreaux, Lanayru was the only one I found myself connecting with.
7. Optimus Primal - 'Beast Wars'
If Iroh's the father figure I wish I had growing up, this was the closest I had to an actual one. Where most folks likely grew up on Optimus Prime from Gen 1 'Transformers', Primal was "my" Optimus. May also explain my love of gorilla characters.
If Iroh's the father figure I wish I had growing up, this was the closest I had to an actual one. Where most folks likely grew up on Optimus Prime from Gen 1 'Transformers', Primal was "my" Optimus. May also explain my love of gorilla characters.
July 11, 2025 at 4:15 PM
7. Optimus Primal - 'Beast Wars'
If Iroh's the father figure I wish I had growing up, this was the closest I had to an actual one. Where most folks likely grew up on Optimus Prime from Gen 1 'Transformers', Primal was "my" Optimus. May also explain my love of gorilla characters.
If Iroh's the father figure I wish I had growing up, this was the closest I had to an actual one. Where most folks likely grew up on Optimus Prime from Gen 1 'Transformers', Primal was "my" Optimus. May also explain my love of gorilla characters.
6. The Genie - 'Aladdin'
I think this character was the one that gave me my love of djinn characters. If nothing else, it was refreshing to see a wish granter that wasn't a monkey's paw type dealie. And let's be clear: I solely mean the Robin Williams version.
I think this character was the one that gave me my love of djinn characters. If nothing else, it was refreshing to see a wish granter that wasn't a monkey's paw type dealie. And let's be clear: I solely mean the Robin Williams version.
July 10, 2025 at 2:49 AM
6. The Genie - 'Aladdin'
I think this character was the one that gave me my love of djinn characters. If nothing else, it was refreshing to see a wish granter that wasn't a monkey's paw type dealie. And let's be clear: I solely mean the Robin Williams version.
I think this character was the one that gave me my love of djinn characters. If nothing else, it was refreshing to see a wish granter that wasn't a monkey's paw type dealie. And let's be clear: I solely mean the Robin Williams version.
5. King of Hyrule - 'Legend of Zelda: the Windwaker'
There will likely be other 'LoZ' characters here, just a heads up. Part of my love of this character comes from the humor from a gag manga based on the game, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little smitten with Dad Boat here.
There will likely be other 'LoZ' characters here, just a heads up. Part of my love of this character comes from the humor from a gag manga based on the game, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little smitten with Dad Boat here.
July 10, 2025 at 2:45 AM
5. King of Hyrule - 'Legend of Zelda: the Windwaker'
There will likely be other 'LoZ' characters here, just a heads up. Part of my love of this character comes from the humor from a gag manga based on the game, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little smitten with Dad Boat here.
There will likely be other 'LoZ' characters here, just a heads up. Part of my love of this character comes from the humor from a gag manga based on the game, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little smitten with Dad Boat here.
4. Gildas - 'Spyro Reignited Trilogy'
Back to the big, blue boys! I know most of my friends like Magnus, but for me, Gildas is my favorite dragon dad. He only has a few lines, but he gives the impression that he doesn't have a mean bone in his body!
Back to the big, blue boys! I know most of my friends like Magnus, but for me, Gildas is my favorite dragon dad. He only has a few lines, but he gives the impression that he doesn't have a mean bone in his body!
July 10, 2025 at 12:28 AM
4. Gildas - 'Spyro Reignited Trilogy'
Back to the big, blue boys! I know most of my friends like Magnus, but for me, Gildas is my favorite dragon dad. He only has a few lines, but he gives the impression that he doesn't have a mean bone in his body!
Back to the big, blue boys! I know most of my friends like Magnus, but for me, Gildas is my favorite dragon dad. He only has a few lines, but he gives the impression that he doesn't have a mean bone in his body!
3. Uncle Iroh - 'Avatar: the Last Airbender'
OMG, a guy who's major color isn't blue!
In all seriousness though, I love Uncle Iroh! He's fun personified, and he has a tragic backstory and...being honest, he kind of reflects the kind of paternal figure I wish I had growing up.
OMG, a guy who's major color isn't blue!
In all seriousness though, I love Uncle Iroh! He's fun personified, and he has a tragic backstory and...being honest, he kind of reflects the kind of paternal figure I wish I had growing up.
July 10, 2025 at 12:24 AM
3. Uncle Iroh - 'Avatar: the Last Airbender'
OMG, a guy who's major color isn't blue!
In all seriousness though, I love Uncle Iroh! He's fun personified, and he has a tragic backstory and...being honest, he kind of reflects the kind of paternal figure I wish I had growing up.
OMG, a guy who's major color isn't blue!
In all seriousness though, I love Uncle Iroh! He's fun personified, and he has a tragic backstory and...being honest, he kind of reflects the kind of paternal figure I wish I had growing up.
2. Merlin - 'The Sword in the Stone'
Yes, folks, the color of the day would be blue, it seems! Merlin has a special place in my heart, since he introduced me to transformation and, as someone once pointed out, he kind of has gay dad energy with Sir Ector!
Yes, folks, the color of the day would be blue, it seems! Merlin has a special place in my heart, since he introduced me to transformation and, as someone once pointed out, he kind of has gay dad energy with Sir Ector!
July 10, 2025 at 12:16 AM
2. Merlin - 'The Sword in the Stone'
Yes, folks, the color of the day would be blue, it seems! Merlin has a special place in my heart, since he introduced me to transformation and, as someone once pointed out, he kind of has gay dad energy with Sir Ector!
Yes, folks, the color of the day would be blue, it seems! Merlin has a special place in my heart, since he introduced me to transformation and, as someone once pointed out, he kind of has gay dad energy with Sir Ector!
1. Jinbe - 'One Piece'
Literally the only character I give two shits about from this series. I think he single-handedly got me back into the series, and can you blame me? He's a big guy who's all about honor and justice and stuff! I'm a sucker for those!
Literally the only character I give two shits about from this series. I think he single-handedly got me back into the series, and can you blame me? He's a big guy who's all about honor and justice and stuff! I'm a sucker for those!
July 10, 2025 at 12:04 AM
1. Jinbe - 'One Piece'
Literally the only character I give two shits about from this series. I think he single-handedly got me back into the series, and can you blame me? He's a big guy who's all about honor and justice and stuff! I'm a sucker for those!
Literally the only character I give two shits about from this series. I think he single-handedly got me back into the series, and can you blame me? He's a big guy who's all about honor and justice and stuff! I'm a sucker for those!
...You know what? Why not? Morbidly curious to see how many people actually want to know (also might give me a chance to explore my own fictional tastes).
July 9, 2025 at 11:26 PM
...You know what? Why not? Morbidly curious to see how many people actually want to know (also might give me a chance to explore my own fictional tastes).
Feeling kinda down, so thought I'd post a pic for Tummy Tuesday. Not sure I'm super proud of this one, but they can't all be winners, I guess. Let me know what y'all think.
June 3, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Feeling kinda down, so thought I'd post a pic for Tummy Tuesday. Not sure I'm super proud of this one, but they can't all be winners, I guess. Let me know what y'all think.
Thought of posting a pit beef sandwich pic as a joke, but I figured you'd be needing this a bit more.
May 7, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Thought of posting a pit beef sandwich pic as a joke, but I figured you'd be needing this a bit more.
Was having trouble sleeping, so here's a belly vid. Despite the piss-poor lighting, I hope y'all are able to enjoy all 293.5 lbs of me~!
May 5, 2025 at 6:28 AM
Was having trouble sleeping, so here's a belly vid. Despite the piss-poor lighting, I hope y'all are able to enjoy all 293.5 lbs of me~!
Poor baby. Well, my heart goes out to you, Elon. X D
April 22, 2025 at 7:07 AM
Poor baby. Well, my heart goes out to you, Elon. X D
Feel like I should post more positive posts, so here's a feel-good belly pic, with me sitting around 288.5 pounds~! ; )
March 31, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Feel like I should post more positive posts, so here's a feel-good belly pic, with me sitting around 288.5 pounds~! ; )
cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/440b577df344... I feel like this is my vibe right now.
March 2, 2025 at 10:01 PM
cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/440b577df344... I feel like this is my vibe right now.
And they were crewmates. X D
February 22, 2025 at 7:57 AM
And they were crewmates. X D
O_O"
...Ho-ly balls.
...Ho-ly balls.
February 17, 2025 at 11:09 AM
O_O"
...Ho-ly balls.
...Ho-ly balls.
And for those who want to see the damage~... ; )
January 20, 2025 at 8:05 AM
And for those who want to see the damage~... ; )