VagrantGuru
@vagrantguru.bsky.social
World's greatest underachiever
"I can write. What can YOU do?" - David Kahane
"I can write. What can YOU do?" - David Kahane
Aaaaand how the fuck could that possibly be true?
December 11, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Aaaaand how the fuck could that possibly be true?
Cop: "Did you set the house on fire?"
Noem: "Welllll it was really a mess in there..."
Cop: "Put your hands behind your back."
Noem: "Welllll it was really a mess in there..."
Cop: "Put your hands behind your back."
December 11, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Cop: "Did you set the house on fire?"
Noem: "Welllll it was really a mess in there..."
Cop: "Put your hands behind your back."
Noem: "Welllll it was really a mess in there..."
Cop: "Put your hands behind your back."
That's fantastic. Really makes it clear how you always have to exercise judgment. Nobody but the most rabid hardcore bigots could possibly want to deport people like this.
December 11, 2025 at 4:34 PM
That's fantastic. Really makes it clear how you always have to exercise judgment. Nobody but the most rabid hardcore bigots could possibly want to deport people like this.
(raises hand) Ummmmm excuse me, didn't Hegseth say that the Signal chat which revealed equipment and timing BEFORE AN ATTACK was totally not classified, but we're supposed to also believe that video from THREE MONTHS AGO reveals something really dangerous for our troops?
December 11, 2025 at 4:39 AM
(raises hand) Ummmmm excuse me, didn't Hegseth say that the Signal chat which revealed equipment and timing BEFORE AN ATTACK was totally not classified, but we're supposed to also believe that video from THREE MONTHS AGO reveals something really dangerous for our troops?
Inaccurate.
They need to be farther apart.
They need to be farther apart.
December 10, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Inaccurate.
They need to be farther apart.
They need to be farther apart.
Justify illegal orders and eventually morph into Skynet?
December 10, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Justify illegal orders and eventually morph into Skynet?
Just because he dumps bullshit everywhere, that doesn't make him the "best cow".
December 10, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Just because he dumps bullshit everywhere, that doesn't make him the "best cow".
The only reason he keeps taking these tests is the doctors want to be amazed over and over again. They're just curtain calls, really.
December 10, 2025 at 5:23 AM
The only reason he keeps taking these tests is the doctors want to be amazed over and over again. They're just curtain calls, really.
Thank God for Trump and his brilliant ideas. I just cut my pencil allotment and now I'll be able to buy a new car!
December 10, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Thank God for Trump and his brilliant ideas. I just cut my pencil allotment and now I'll be able to buy a new car!
"Doctors are amazed at my record-setting strong test results and anyone that suggests I'm losing it should be tried for treason!"
December 10, 2025 at 3:53 AM
"Doctors are amazed at my record-setting strong test results and anyone that suggests I'm losing it should be tried for treason!"
I also love how they act like it's unreasonable to be concerned about them attacking Americans.
I mean, you're sitting here saying "they've been named the enemy, so we kill them", while they're naming anyone that opposes Trump to be a domestic terrorist.
Seems like the obvious next step.
I mean, you're sitting here saying "they've been named the enemy, so we kill them", while they're naming anyone that opposes Trump to be a domestic terrorist.
Seems like the obvious next step.
December 10, 2025 at 12:28 AM
I also love how they act like it's unreasonable to be concerned about them attacking Americans.
I mean, you're sitting here saying "they've been named the enemy, so we kill them", while they're naming anyone that opposes Trump to be a domestic terrorist.
Seems like the obvious next step.
I mean, you're sitting here saying "they've been named the enemy, so we kill them", while they're naming anyone that opposes Trump to be a domestic terrorist.
Seems like the obvious next step.
"Also, we have to find some way of prosecuting Comey, because nobody is above the law!"
December 10, 2025 at 12:23 AM
"Also, we have to find some way of prosecuting Comey, because nobody is above the law!"
Couldn't agree more. Especially the more realistic video gets, the more of a license dishonest people have to manufacture their own reality.
December 10, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Couldn't agree more. Especially the more realistic video gets, the more of a license dishonest people have to manufacture their own reality.
"I took him to a supermarket... I'm not sure why but I had to start somewhere... so I started there! I said, "pretend you've got no money', he just laughed and said 'oh you're so funny', I said 'yeah, well I can't see anyone else smiling in here'..."
December 9, 2025 at 10:07 PM
"I took him to a supermarket... I'm not sure why but I had to start somewhere... so I started there! I said, "pretend you've got no money', he just laughed and said 'oh you're so funny', I said 'yeah, well I can't see anyone else smiling in here'..."
Ya think? Pardoning a clearly corrupt Democrat and then whining when he doesn't switch parties, making it obvious that was the whole purpose? Nahhhhh total 7D chess from Trump there!
December 9, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Ya think? Pardoning a clearly corrupt Democrat and then whining when he doesn't switch parties, making it obvious that was the whole purpose? Nahhhhh total 7D chess from Trump there!
"As Commander-In-Chief, I have no say in how the military behaves. Also, the DOJ really really realllllly needs to prosecute people that I don't like!"
December 9, 2025 at 4:07 PM
"As Commander-In-Chief, I have no say in how the military behaves. Also, the DOJ really really realllllly needs to prosecute people that I don't like!"
"I'm a genius, but I don't understand how billions of people raised children before this technology existed."
December 9, 2025 at 3:38 PM
"I'm a genius, but I don't understand how billions of people raised children before this technology existed."
That's weird, considering it wasn't long ago he blamed Biden for the bad parts of the economy.
December 9, 2025 at 3:34 PM
That's weird, considering it wasn't long ago he blamed Biden for the bad parts of the economy.
"Jeeeez what's with this 'following the law' bullshit? PUSSIES!!"
December 9, 2025 at 3:29 PM
"Jeeeez what's with this 'following the law' bullshit? PUSSIES!!"
"Ummmm why the fuck did you show up, then?"
December 9, 2025 at 2:44 PM
"Ummmm why the fuck did you show up, then?"
Exactly what we told Churchill, amirite? Gotta know your history, people.
December 9, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Exactly what we told Churchill, amirite? Gotta know your history, people.
One that's white and prickly?
December 8, 2025 at 11:01 PM
One that's white and prickly?
I just like the "other app" phrase. Very Voldemortesque.
December 8, 2025 at 10:25 PM
I just like the "other app" phrase. Very Voldemortesque.
I'd pay ten bucks to see a reporter follow up with "wanna bet your job on it?".
December 8, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I'd pay ten bucks to see a reporter follow up with "wanna bet your job on it?".