Am I intersex? Am I not?

Maybe I can never know.

[Good faith comments and discussion welcome.]

#transgender #intersex

Eventually, I was brave enough to ask my mother again. She said the surgery was necessary for multiple infections. Is that what the doctors told her? Why did infections require surgical intervention?

The answers are lost with those missing records.

The answer:

All records of that time were gone. Even knowing that purged records often happened in intersex cases, it wasn't clear confirmation.

So was I intersex? Was I not? There might no longer be a way to find out.

And in my 30s, the rules changed. I was finally allowed in. I asked the doctor to look at my medical record and find out what actually happened to me as an infant.

I carried that dread with me until my 20s, after I realised I was transgender and tried to get access to HRT. That fight took fifteen years, at first trying to get approval despite a cruel diagnosis of 'autogynephilia'.

It was that reply that put a fear in me. A fear that kept me from asking again as I grew older and more capable of understanding things like surgery. Mind, this was the 80s. Could i dare wonder at anything without endangering myself?

When I was maybe four, maybe five, I asked my mother what the scars were. Her reply struck me with a terror that lodged in my core for the rest of my life:

"That's where God sewed you up when he was done making you."

Each of the four or five fleets will have a set of hulls and equipment, and two factions that put their own spin on the technology.

Here are the colour concepts for the initial bioship factions: The Architects of Flesh (cloud effects/damage over time) and the Crimson Lotus (superior squadrons0.