Every time I see the weapons used by ancient Hawaiian and other Polynesian people, all I can think about is how much it must have hurt to be sawed and bashed to death by another massive human being with these things.

Watching the show Chief of War and our tv froze with Jason Mamoa’s little King Kamehameha front and center in his opening scene. What a massive pimple on his nostril.

Even when you have a shitty job you can dress for success above your station. This look will take you directly from the custodian’s closet straight to the board room before you can say minimum wage.

I have been asked over and over why I have remained a faithful fan of South Park since I was 15 when the show first aired. The opening episode of season 27 is all the response I will ever need.

Tonight’s Canaveral rocket launch and you can see the aura from the rocket on the right and the booster returning to the ground on the left.

I had never seen a woodpecker with the big red crest on its head before yesterday. It was really neat to see one.

Seems like everyone is super chill about what is happening with tariffs. If you are having to pull out the “just please chill out” argument, you are losing the argument fast.

I don’t think my partner appreciates how much I want to get old together so I can dress like this and yell this at her every single opportunity that arises. It’s how I say “I want to grow old together.”

One of the best camping trips of my life. The look of happiness on my friend’s face when he is setting his brother’s shoes on fire for passing out in the wrong tent is equivalent to the amount of joy I get from this memory.

Zorg wore it better.

So much mold in my apartment, it’s choking me. If I keep losing sleep from inhaling mold, I keep getting angrier from the mold, and I eventually attack my landlord, can I claim “temporary zombified insanity?” A 28 Days meets Last of Us situation?

My son left this note after he found my candy stash.

NYE coverage at 11:58 because there’s no mountain time broadcast on the network.

I love that this is a real name.