Twoey
@twoey2e.bsky.social
(she/they) Weirdy Queerdy. Asian. 🇻🇳 Bi. 💜💖💙 Left-Handed Leftist. ☭
If you have any expectations of me right now, please lower them.
If you’re waiting for a call back from me, no you’re not.
If you’re waiting for a call back from me, no you’re not.
February 12, 2025 at 9:52 PM
If you have any expectations of me right now, please lower them.
If you’re waiting for a call back from me, no you’re not.
If you’re waiting for a call back from me, no you’re not.
The recruiter for my new job told me benefits start on your first day, but that was a lie.
I have to earn all 80 hours of vacation time over the course of a year and I don’t even earn a full day of vacation time in a MONTH. 1/2
I have to earn all 80 hours of vacation time over the course of a year and I don’t even earn a full day of vacation time in a MONTH. 1/2
January 31, 2025 at 4:39 PM
The recruiter for my new job told me benefits start on your first day, but that was a lie.
I have to earn all 80 hours of vacation time over the course of a year and I don’t even earn a full day of vacation time in a MONTH. 1/2
I have to earn all 80 hours of vacation time over the course of a year and I don’t even earn a full day of vacation time in a MONTH. 1/2
I hate that both Twitter and TikTok have been taken away from me. I hate that there’s less connection in a cruel world. I hate how often I scream into the void and feel empty.
January 19, 2025 at 5:56 AM
I hate that both Twitter and TikTok have been taken away from me. I hate that there’s less connection in a cruel world. I hate how often I scream into the void and feel empty.
One thing I’m really gonna miss about TikTok is how Tommy Pistol started following me so I got a notification every time he checked my profile, how am I supposed to get dopamine now
January 16, 2025 at 12:37 AM
One thing I’m really gonna miss about TikTok is how Tommy Pistol started following me so I got a notification every time he checked my profile, how am I supposed to get dopamine now
So I just found out my homeowners insurance lapsed and there’s nothing I can do about it because I don’t have an extra $1600 to make a lump-sum payment, I can’t pay online, and I can ONLY call for assistance and ONLY during the business hours I work in a call center.
Happy F-cking New Year.
Happy F-cking New Year.
December 30, 2024 at 11:00 PM
So I just found out my homeowners insurance lapsed and there’s nothing I can do about it because I don’t have an extra $1600 to make a lump-sum payment, I can’t pay online, and I can ONLY call for assistance and ONLY during the business hours I work in a call center.
Happy F-cking New Year.
Happy F-cking New Year.
I don’t know man I’m starting to feel like my little jokes and memes are not enough to keep me from succumbing to the horrors
December 21, 2024 at 3:38 AM
I don’t know man I’m starting to feel like my little jokes and memes are not enough to keep me from succumbing to the horrors
KitKat is a lot of things, but most of all he’s A Baby Man™
December 19, 2024 at 4:51 AM
KitKat is a lot of things, but most of all he’s A Baby Man™
Happy Adoptiversary to Baby Ruth a.k.a. Ruthie, who 5 years ago on this day (also Friday the 13th) refused to go back out into the rain and so gave up the street cat life. She’s been a marvelous menace ever since. My Grumpy Plumpy Girl.
December 14, 2024 at 4:42 AM
Happy Adoptiversary to Baby Ruth a.k.a. Ruthie, who 5 years ago on this day (also Friday the 13th) refused to go back out into the rain and so gave up the street cat life. She’s been a marvelous menace ever since. My Grumpy Plumpy Girl.
I’m reading in the news that cities are fearful about copycat CEO shootings, meanwhile Philly is having Luigi Mangione look-a-like contests. Deeply unserious city.
December 12, 2024 at 8:31 PM
I’m reading in the news that cities are fearful about copycat CEO shootings, meanwhile Philly is having Luigi Mangione look-a-like contests. Deeply unserious city.
I was picking up an Rx and the Pharmacy Tech Bitch at CVS lied “we can’t take your new insurance information until tomorrow, you need this now?” i.e. pay out-of-pocket this instant or get tf out. Then she slid it under the gate as it closed in my face like she was Indiana Jones.
December 8, 2024 at 12:34 AM
I was picking up an Rx and the Pharmacy Tech Bitch at CVS lied “we can’t take your new insurance information until tomorrow, you need this now?” i.e. pay out-of-pocket this instant or get tf out. Then she slid it under the gate as it closed in my face like she was Indiana Jones.
First paycheck at my new job did not direct deposit due to the holiday last week. Paper check was received in the mail Fri 11/29. Couldn’t deposit because PFCU locations were closed and their ATMs wouldn’t accept my deposit. 1/2
December 4, 2024 at 2:19 AM
First paycheck at my new job did not direct deposit due to the holiday last week. Paper check was received in the mail Fri 11/29. Couldn’t deposit because PFCU locations were closed and their ATMs wouldn’t accept my deposit. 1/2
The toughest part about being a Porn Reply Guy is dealing with all the other Porn Reply Guys, come on man I’m just a humble pervert trying to make my favorite pornstars laugh, please stay out of my inbox 😭
December 2, 2024 at 10:09 PM
The toughest part about being a Porn Reply Guy is dealing with all the other Porn Reply Guys, come on man I’m just a humble pervert trying to make my favorite pornstars laugh, please stay out of my inbox 😭
Update: after doubling down for a week my Abusive Manager left for the day and cancelled our meeting this afternoon, can’t wait to learn what fresh hell she has in store for me
Update: Abusive Manager has issued a written warning for something I didn’t even do 🫠
Haha oh no, I posted a funny gif in the Group Chat at work so now my Abusive Manager is desperately looking for any excuse to punish me for it
April 30, 2024 at 5:04 PM
Update: after doubling down for a week my Abusive Manager left for the day and cancelled our meeting this afternoon, can’t wait to learn what fresh hell she has in store for me
Update: Abusive Manager has issued a written warning for something I didn’t even do 🫠
Haha oh no, I posted a funny gif in the Group Chat at work so now my Abusive Manager is desperately looking for any excuse to punish me for it
April 23, 2024 at 3:42 PM
Update: Abusive Manager has issued a written warning for something I didn’t even do 🫠
Hey do you ever intensely watch someone tie their shoe in public to see what method they were taught (loop-swoop-and-pull, bunny ears, etc.) or are you normal
April 22, 2024 at 9:17 PM
Hey do you ever intensely watch someone tie their shoe in public to see what method they were taught (loop-swoop-and-pull, bunny ears, etc.) or are you normal
Haha oh no, I posted a funny gif in the Group Chat at work so now my Abusive Manager is desperately looking for any excuse to punish me for it
April 18, 2024 at 9:08 PM
Haha oh no, I posted a funny gif in the Group Chat at work so now my Abusive Manager is desperately looking for any excuse to punish me for it
Not the same sister who paid me late for utilities last month making my mortgage payment overdraft my bank account this month ask if she can put dental x-rays on my credit card tomorrow because she let her Medicaid coverage lapse, don’t push your luck buddy
April 12, 2024 at 3:09 AM
Not the same sister who paid me late for utilities last month making my mortgage payment overdraft my bank account this month ask if she can put dental x-rays on my credit card tomorrow because she let her Medicaid coverage lapse, don’t push your luck buddy
I always forget that the return of pleasant weather also means Mr. Bishop’s Weekday Afternoon Pop-Up Street Preacher Sermons, he used to wire a PA system into his car stereo but somebody fixed him up with a little portable speaker and a mic
April 11, 2024 at 12:13 AM
I always forget that the return of pleasant weather also means Mr. Bishop’s Weekday Afternoon Pop-Up Street Preacher Sermons, he used to wire a PA system into his car stereo but somebody fixed him up with a little portable speaker and a mic
I can’t be bothered with the eclipse, a team of contractors are having trouble tearing down the shed overgrown with vines in the former community garden next door, and a passerby said “it was there before they were.”
So now it’s a horror short story prompt.
So now it’s a horror short story prompt.
April 8, 2024 at 10:26 PM
I can’t be bothered with the eclipse, a team of contractors are having trouble tearing down the shed overgrown with vines in the former community garden next door, and a passerby said “it was there before they were.”
So now it’s a horror short story prompt.
So now it’s a horror short story prompt.
It’s hard to believe Wrestlemania is in town, how is this event infinitely less annoying than any Philly sports game? Please can we host more fun shit and be less Bulldoze Chinatown for a Sixers Stadium
April 7, 2024 at 2:13 PM
It’s hard to believe Wrestlemania is in town, how is this event infinitely less annoying than any Philly sports game? Please can we host more fun shit and be less Bulldoze Chinatown for a Sixers Stadium
I know a historic earthquake occurred today on the East Coast and all, but I’m on the southbound BSL and just heard “THE MIC’S ON, DICKHEAD” over the train announcement system, I feel like these are equally important events
April 5, 2024 at 11:11 PM
I know a historic earthquake occurred today on the East Coast and all, but I’m on the southbound BSL and just heard “THE MIC’S ON, DICKHEAD” over the train announcement system, I feel like these are equally important events
You know PFCU rushing to post my mortgage payment in record time just so they could overdraft my checking account is not very Bailey Building and Loan of them, that was a fun way to start the month 🫠
April 4, 2024 at 5:43 PM
You know PFCU rushing to post my mortgage payment in record time just so they could overdraft my checking account is not very Bailey Building and Loan of them, that was a fun way to start the month 🫠
“Due to operator shortage” i.e. we treat our employees like shit and no one wants to work for us
April 4, 2024 at 12:57 AM
“Due to operator shortage” i.e. we treat our employees like shit and no one wants to work for us
I owe David Krumholtz an apology. I really thought Jake Johnson was him for longer than I care to admit.
March 29, 2024 at 5:47 PM
I owe David Krumholtz an apology. I really thought Jake Johnson was him for longer than I care to admit.
I’m so frustrated being made to feel like asking for clarification is giving pushback, why can’t anyone think critically or answer a genuine question without behaving like I’m challenging them to a knife fight
March 28, 2024 at 2:27 PM
I’m so frustrated being made to feel like asking for clarification is giving pushback, why can’t anyone think critically or answer a genuine question without behaving like I’m challenging them to a knife fight