Turtle the Wizard
@turtlewizard.bsky.social
Millennial Mutant Ninja Turtle
Dad
Poet, I guess... see? https://mattermonthly.com/2015/10/05/home-economics-2/
tiocfaidh ár lá 🇮🇪 🇵🇸
Dad
Poet, I guess... see? https://mattermonthly.com/2015/10/05/home-economics-2/
tiocfaidh ár lá 🇮🇪 🇵🇸
Without downloading anything new, where are you at mentally?
October 8, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Without downloading anything new, where are you at mentally?
“I think it’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment..." -also that guy
September 16, 2025 at 12:48 PM
“I think it’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment..." -also that guy
If you see this, quote with a gif you can hear.
September 15, 2025 at 2:22 PM
If you see this, quote with a gif you can hear.
THE CHILDREN WERE ACTIVELY PRAYING WHEN THE GUY WITH A GUN WALKED INTO THEIR SCHOOL!!! THEY WERE AT. MASS. So... can we do away with this "thoughts and prayers" HORSESHIT!? GUN. CONTROL. NOW. I'm beyond sick of all of this.
apnews.com/live/minneap...
apnews.com/live/minneap...
Live updates: A shooting at a Minneapolis Catholic school kills 2 children, injures 17 people
Minnesota Catholic school shooter Robin Westman killed two children and injured 17 other people on Wednesday before killing himself, officials said.
apnews.com
August 27, 2025 at 6:36 PM
THE CHILDREN WERE ACTIVELY PRAYING WHEN THE GUY WITH A GUN WALKED INTO THEIR SCHOOL!!! THEY WERE AT. MASS. So... can we do away with this "thoughts and prayers" HORSESHIT!? GUN. CONTROL. NOW. I'm beyond sick of all of this.
apnews.com/live/minneap...
apnews.com/live/minneap...
Hulk Hogan didn't get me into wrestling.
Mankind did.
Mankind did.
July 26, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Hulk Hogan didn't get me into wrestling.
Mankind did.
Mankind did.
So far, my favorite part of WWE Evolution is the gaggle of gays in the crowd along the entrance ramp near the ring. Wrestling is for the queers! 🏳️🌈
a drag queen with white hair and black gloves is making a funny face and saying oh hun ny .
ALT: a drag queen with white hair and black gloves is making a funny face and saying oh hun ny .
media.tenor.com
July 14, 2025 at 1:16 AM
So far, my favorite part of WWE Evolution is the gaggle of gays in the crowd along the entrance ramp near the ring. Wrestling is for the queers! 🏳️🌈
Much of BDSM is built on a festering foundation of toxic masculinity and assumptions of ridid patriarchal gender roles. But people aren't ready to talk about that...
June 25, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Much of BDSM is built on a festering foundation of toxic masculinity and assumptions of ridid patriarchal gender roles. But people aren't ready to talk about that...
After extensive research I have determined that I am the only monogamous person on the far left...
June 20, 2025 at 6:23 PM
After extensive research I have determined that I am the only monogamous person on the far left...
So... the main event of Money in the Bank is a pointless tag team match involving a YouTuber... not the Money in the Bank ladder match... I wanna be a both-companies-are-good wrestling fan, but BOY is WWE making that difficult for me...
June 8, 2025 at 1:38 AM
So... the main event of Money in the Bank is a pointless tag team match involving a YouTuber... not the Money in the Bank ladder match... I wanna be a both-companies-are-good wrestling fan, but BOY is WWE making that difficult for me...
Where can a millennial mutant like myself look to date that isn't: an app, a place with alcohol, or a place that costs money to be there? Or... is my charming AuDHD ass just gonna cruise this sewer alone forever?
a cartoon character with headphones is laying on the floor
ALT: a cartoon character with headphones is laying on the floor
media.tenor.com
June 4, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Where can a millennial mutant like myself look to date that isn't: an app, a place with alcohol, or a place that costs money to be there? Or... is my charming AuDHD ass just gonna cruise this sewer alone forever?
Overwhelmed with feelings of abject loneliness today...
a group of teenage mutant ninja turtles are standing in the water
ALT: a group of teenage mutant ninja turtles are standing in the water
media.tenor.com
June 2, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Overwhelmed with feelings of abject loneliness today...
IF I match on a dating site, that person responds in one of 3 ways:
1. No response at all. Dead line. Pre-ghosted.
2. Talks for a while before offering to sell me content/calling me a "pay pig."
3. It's great until they reveal some huge news that DEFINITELY should have been in their profile bio.
1. No response at all. Dead line. Pre-ghosted.
2. Talks for a while before offering to sell me content/calling me a "pay pig."
3. It's great until they reveal some huge news that DEFINITELY should have been in their profile bio.
June 1, 2025 at 10:29 PM
IF I match on a dating site, that person responds in one of 3 ways:
1. No response at all. Dead line. Pre-ghosted.
2. Talks for a while before offering to sell me content/calling me a "pay pig."
3. It's great until they reveal some huge news that DEFINITELY should have been in their profile bio.
1. No response at all. Dead line. Pre-ghosted.
2. Talks for a while before offering to sell me content/calling me a "pay pig."
3. It's great until they reveal some huge news that DEFINITELY should have been in their profile bio.
Is it just me or is Renee Paquette dressed like a sexy substitute teacher in that horse vest? #aew #collision
June 1, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Is it just me or is Renee Paquette dressed like a sexy substitute teacher in that horse vest? #aew #collision
Share a purple character
May 19, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Share a purple character
I was today's years old when I learned it's "tibia and fibUla," not "tibia and fibia." I learned this watching AEW Beach Break, a professional wrestling show... I'm a goddamned master's degree recipient...
May 15, 2025 at 1:19 AM
I was today's years old when I learned it's "tibia and fibUla," not "tibia and fibia." I learned this watching AEW Beach Break, a professional wrestling show... I'm a goddamned master's degree recipient...
A Soviet era Venus exploration pod is going to crash into earth on my birthday. And I'm in the expected danger zone... my luck is far too fickle for this many coincidences. Been nice knowing ye
www.sciencenews.org/article/sovi...
www.sciencenews.org/article/sovi...
A Soviet spacecraft will crash to Earth this month
Kosmos 482 launched for Venus in 1972 but never left Earth orbit. The spacecraft has now lost enough energy that it can’t fight gravity anymore.
www.sciencenews.org
May 5, 2025 at 7:18 PM
A Soviet era Venus exploration pod is going to crash into earth on my birthday. And I'm in the expected danger zone... my luck is far too fickle for this many coincidences. Been nice knowing ye
www.sciencenews.org/article/sovi...
www.sciencenews.org/article/sovi...
That's a pretty fucked up thing to say in any language, @duolingoverde.bsky.social
April 30, 2025 at 11:58 PM
That's a pretty fucked up thing to say in any language, @duolingoverde.bsky.social
Online dating be like...
Her profile: PLEASE be able to hold an interesting conversation! I'm so tired of boring people!
My opening: *is something witty, funny, calls specific attention to things in her bio, and asks an open ended question about her weekend*
Her response: It's fine.
Me: 🤡🤡🤡
Her profile: PLEASE be able to hold an interesting conversation! I'm so tired of boring people!
My opening: *is something witty, funny, calls specific attention to things in her bio, and asks an open ended question about her weekend*
Her response: It's fine.
Me: 🤡🤡🤡
April 28, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Online dating be like...
Her profile: PLEASE be able to hold an interesting conversation! I'm so tired of boring people!
My opening: *is something witty, funny, calls specific attention to things in her bio, and asks an open ended question about her weekend*
Her response: It's fine.
Me: 🤡🤡🤡
Her profile: PLEASE be able to hold an interesting conversation! I'm so tired of boring people!
My opening: *is something witty, funny, calls specific attention to things in her bio, and asks an open ended question about her weekend*
Her response: It's fine.
Me: 🤡🤡🤡
On this holiest of Easters my 12 y/o son brought me a gift of hope... by asking me what songs he should start with to get into Wu-Tang Clan
Wu Tang GIF
ALT: Wu Tang GIF
media.tenor.com
April 20, 2025 at 8:05 PM
On this holiest of Easters my 12 y/o son brought me a gift of hope... by asking me what songs he should start with to get into Wu-Tang Clan
Hear me out: FTR wins the tag team titles and have a 9 month reign only to lose the titles to their baby face counterparts, The Outrunners. Make this happen @aewontv.bsky.social @truthmagnum.bsky.social
April 13, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Hear me out: FTR wins the tag team titles and have a 9 month reign only to lose the titles to their baby face counterparts, The Outrunners. Make this happen @aewontv.bsky.social @truthmagnum.bsky.social
Ffffucksake... no. Big no. Hardest NO of my goddamned life. Now fuck off you goddamned bug wearing an Edgar suit...
April 3, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Ffffucksake... no. Big no. Hardest NO of my goddamned life. Now fuck off you goddamned bug wearing an Edgar suit...
"So come on, come on
Out from underneath who you were..."
Out from underneath who you were..."
April 3, 2025 at 8:43 PM
"So come on, come on
Out from underneath who you were..."
Out from underneath who you were..."
Applying for jobs makes me feel so fucking depressed... it's as bad if not worse than dating apps...
March 31, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Applying for jobs makes me feel so fucking depressed... it's as bad if not worse than dating apps...
Shit on nü metal all you like, but bands like Coal Chamber, KoRn, and Limp Bizkit broke the genre barriers of heavy metal in the 90s and made it possible for a band like Sleep Token to exist
a man in a black coat is standing on a stage with a microphone in front of a moon .
ALT: a man in a black coat is standing on a stage with a microphone in front of a moon .
media.tenor.com
March 29, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Shit on nü metal all you like, but bands like Coal Chamber, KoRn, and Limp Bizkit broke the genre barriers of heavy metal in the 90s and made it possible for a band like Sleep Token to exist