keaton
@tummyaching.bsky.social
Reposted by keaton
It's been a rough day. Here's Christina Ricci in a black latex dress smoking a cigarette over the weekend.
January 18, 2024 at 3:58 AM
It's been a rough day. Here's Christina Ricci in a black latex dress smoking a cigarette over the weekend.
how to dress for a professional office setting but in a way that shows off how much I wish I was a knight instead
January 17, 2024 at 1:17 PM
how to dress for a professional office setting but in a way that shows off how much I wish I was a knight instead
obsessed with the thrift-fluencers “what I got vs. how I styled it” videos where they put it exactly where you’d expect it to be. “how I styled this cup” and it’s in the cupboard. “how I styled this seat cushion” and it’s on the floor next to their couch. “how I styled this book” and it’s on a shelf
January 16, 2024 at 5:29 AM
obsessed with the thrift-fluencers “what I got vs. how I styled it” videos where they put it exactly where you’d expect it to be. “how I styled this cup” and it’s in the cupboard. “how I styled this seat cushion” and it’s on the floor next to their couch. “how I styled this book” and it’s on a shelf
the funniest “lazy person” thing I did this weekend was (upon discovering I was out of cooking oil) use the oil from my unstirred peanut butter *three* different times to cook
January 15, 2024 at 11:32 PM
the funniest “lazy person” thing I did this weekend was (upon discovering I was out of cooking oil) use the oil from my unstirred peanut butter *three* different times to cook
do you even know how unstoppable I would be if we had a good thrift store (not just clothes) within walking distance
January 15, 2024 at 10:44 PM
do you even know how unstoppable I would be if we had a good thrift store (not just clothes) within walking distance
need cheese and berry danish
January 15, 2024 at 2:45 PM
need cheese and berry danish
note to self that I brewed a delicoous coffee this morning with a lot of cardamom, a little cinnamon, and little clove, and a decent dollop of rosemary
January 14, 2024 at 1:47 PM
note to self that I brewed a delicoous coffee this morning with a lot of cardamom, a little cinnamon, and little clove, and a decent dollop of rosemary
projectile vomiting
January 14, 2024 at 12:40 AM
projectile vomiting
i’m almost 30 years old and the recent purchase i’m most excited about is a coffee maker with a programmable timer that will automatically brew a pot of coffee right before my first alarm goes off in the mornings
January 13, 2024 at 10:07 PM
i’m almost 30 years old and the recent purchase i’m most excited about is a coffee maker with a programmable timer that will automatically brew a pot of coffee right before my first alarm goes off in the mornings
it’s so important to give your cat a dignified name like Belfry so that it makes him feel extra disrespected when you call him something like Stinky Billy
January 13, 2024 at 12:08 AM
it’s so important to give your cat a dignified name like Belfry so that it makes him feel extra disrespected when you call him something like Stinky Billy
i will vote for whatever mayor can get me a stapler in my office that actually works
January 12, 2024 at 2:51 PM
i will vote for whatever mayor can get me a stapler in my office that actually works
they honestly could’ve just stopped inventing other foods after they invented caramel. we’ll never have another hit as big as that
January 11, 2024 at 11:18 PM
they honestly could’ve just stopped inventing other foods after they invented caramel. we’ll never have another hit as big as that
not to brag but i’m such a good dental patient that it only took them an hour to do a 90 minute procedure. surely the efficiency is due to me being a good patient, and not the dentist and hygienist basically being able to communicate with each other telepathically
January 9, 2024 at 3:24 PM
not to brag but i’m such a good dental patient that it only took them an hour to do a 90 minute procedure. surely the efficiency is due to me being a good patient, and not the dentist and hygienist basically being able to communicate with each other telepathically
4yo in the dentist waiting room: “am I at the doctor?”
parent: “no, you’re at the dentist. they clean your teeth.”
4yo: “THEY’RE GONNA STEAL MY BONES!”
parent: “no, you’re at the dentist. they clean your teeth.”
4yo: “THEY’RE GONNA STEAL MY BONES!”
January 9, 2024 at 3:16 PM
4yo in the dentist waiting room: “am I at the doctor?”
parent: “no, you’re at the dentist. they clean your teeth.”
4yo: “THEY’RE GONNA STEAL MY BONES!”
parent: “no, you’re at the dentist. they clean your teeth.”
4yo: “THEY’RE GONNA STEAL MY BONES!”
damn my beautiful friends for being hilarious in the group chat and making me laugh out loud in the middle of my root canal appointment
January 9, 2024 at 2:34 PM
damn my beautiful friends for being hilarious in the group chat and making me laugh out loud in the middle of my root canal appointment
quick what should i have for dinner
January 8, 2024 at 11:49 PM
quick what should i have for dinner
my sanity today is being held together by the fragile, pillowy dough of red bean mochi
January 8, 2024 at 9:14 PM
my sanity today is being held together by the fragile, pillowy dough of red bean mochi
who else has just been checked outtttt lately? 🥵
January 8, 2024 at 3:03 PM
who else has just been checked outtttt lately? 🥵
sometimes when I have a day where I would rather do anything other than go to work, I try to remember what it felt like to be in high school. and those terrible memories give me the fight-or-flight I need to get through my 9-5
January 8, 2024 at 2:24 PM
sometimes when I have a day where I would rather do anything other than go to work, I try to remember what it felt like to be in high school. and those terrible memories give me the fight-or-flight I need to get through my 9-5
Reposted by keaton
man what am i even supposed to do here
January 6, 2024 at 5:51 AM
man what am i even supposed to do here
i know they didn’t really say “bussy” in wonka except that yes they absolutely did
January 4, 2024 at 12:35 AM
i know they didn’t really say “bussy” in wonka except that yes they absolutely did
i’ve started referring to belfry’s hobbies and activities as his “stinky business”
“what kind of stinky business did you get up to while i was at work?”
“what kind of stinky business did you get up to while i was at work?”
January 2, 2024 at 10:07 PM
i’ve started referring to belfry’s hobbies and activities as his “stinky business”
“what kind of stinky business did you get up to while i was at work?”
“what kind of stinky business did you get up to while i was at work?”
tomorrow is the last new year of my 20s baby let’s goooooo
December 31, 2023 at 2:35 AM
tomorrow is the last new year of my 20s baby let’s goooooo