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tummlord.bsky.social
buster hawthorne
@tummlord.bsky.social
my life is nothing i thought it should be and everything i was worried it would become because for 50 seconds i thought there was monsters on the world
Pinned
The Soft Hands of Stephen Miller
Pile - "The Soft Hands of Stephen Miller" (Official Video)
YouTube video by explodinginsound
youtu.be
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession
January 5, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Trump Issues Executive Order Reversing All Vasectomies https://theonion.com/trump-issues-executive-order-reversing-all-vasectomies/
December 29, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Numerous Teams Express Interest In Aaron Rodgers Playing Elsewhere https://theonion.com/numerous-teams-express-interest-in-aaron-rodgers-playing-elsewhere/
December 22, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Trump Appears To Doze During Stroke
December 9, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Japanese Monk Racks
Brain For Haiku That Will Knock
Them On Their Asses
https://theonion.com/japanese-monk-racksbrain-for-haiku-that-will-knockthem-on-their-asses/
December 9, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
December 5, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
RFK Jr. Denies Ever Laying Eggs In Olivia Nuzzi
RFK Jr. Denies Ever Laying Eggs In Olivia Nuzzi
WASHINGTON—In an attempt to dispel rumors of an affair during the 2024 presidential campaign, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. held a press conference Monday during which he d...
theonion.com
November 30, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
November 16, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’
November 3, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
You Can Just Push Shit In Back Seat Out Of Way
October 5, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
October 6, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Zohran Mamdani Refuses To Share Plan For Making Rich Richer
Zohran Mamdani Refuses To Share Plan For Making Rich Richer
NEW YORK—Casting doubt on the mayoral candidate’s ability to effectively carry out the duties of the office, critics assailed New York State Rep. Zohran Mamdani Friday for refusing to share his plan t...
theonion.com
October 17, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Study Finds Voices Should Sound Normal Through Walkie-Talkies By Now https://theonion.com/study-finds-voices-should-sound-normal-through-walkie-talkies-by-now/
October 15, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Biologists Announce There Absolutely Nothing We Can Learn From Clams https://theonion.com/biologists-announce-there-absolutely-nothing-we-can-learn-from-clams/
October 16, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Nation’s Indigenous People Confirm They Don’t Need Special Holiday, Just Large Swaths Of Land Returned Immediately https://theonion.com/nation-s-indigenous-people-confirm-they-don-t-need-spec-1839033177/
October 13, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Trump Asks JD Vance To Research Whether President Allowed To Kill Vice President
Trump Asks JD Vance To Research Whether President Allowed To Kill Vice President
WASHINGTON—Calling him “the best man for the job,” President Donald Trump reportedly asked JD Vance Thursday to research whether the president was allowed to kill the vice president. “I mean, Article ...
theonion.com
October 4, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Physical Media Collector Pumped For Downfall Of Humanity
Physical Media Collector Pumped For Downfall Of Humanity
MESA, AZ—Gleefully describing the inevitable day when society would collapse and digital files would become unusable, local physical media collector David Campbell confirmed Wednesday he was “absolute...
theonion.com
October 4, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
New Study Shows That Bones Are Incredibly Cool
October 5, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Hungover Hegseth Struggling To Remember How He Ended Up In Room Full Of Generals
Hungover Hegseth Struggling To Remember How He Ended Up In Room Full Of Generals
QUANTICO, VA—Racking his brain for answers as he gazed out at the high-ranking officers gathered before him, a visibly hungover Pete Hegseth reportedly struggled Tuesday to remember exactly how he end...
theonion.com
October 5, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
‘You Think You Can Talk About Our Dad That Way?’ Scream Trump Boys, Beating TV With Bat https://theonion.com/you-think-you-can-talk-about-our-dad-that-way-scream-trump-boys-beating-tv-with-bat/
September 24, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Returning Jesus Christ Downed By U.S. Missile Defense 30,000 Feet Before Making Landfall
September 23, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk
Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk
NEW YORK—Insisting your fate was sealed the moment you clicked the link, a report released Tuesday found that you will be fired for reading this headline about Charlie Kirk. “Shortly after you navigat...
theonion.com
September 16, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Reposted by buster hawthorne
Study Shows Benefits Of Skin-To-Skin Contact Between New Players, Coaches
Study Shows Benefits Of Skin-To-Skin Contact Between New Players, Coaches
CAMBRIDGE, MA—Describing the practice as “vital to player development,” researchers at Harvard University published a study Monday that shows immediate skin-to-skin contact between NFL coaches and new...
theonion.com
September 15, 2025 at 6:00 PM