Top Gunker
@topgunker.bsky.social
Born in the spunk, risen to the gunk.
I don't know how to play an instrument. I know nothing about music theory. I'm not at all musically inclined. Yet, for some reason, I have a note in my phone specifically for cool sounding album names.
December 7, 2025 at 9:54 PM
I don't know how to play an instrument. I know nothing about music theory. I'm not at all musically inclined. Yet, for some reason, I have a note in my phone specifically for cool sounding album names.
I'm gonna be honest, I didn't know we had lab grown-mini brains. Let alone question of they sleep.
November 10, 2025 at 9:46 PM
I'm gonna be honest, I didn't know we had lab grown-mini brains. Let alone question of they sleep.
The mysterious cleric from Salt & Sanctuary might be the greediest fucking character in all of fiction.
October 30, 2025 at 12:03 AM
The mysterious cleric from Salt & Sanctuary might be the greediest fucking character in all of fiction.
Reposted by Top Gunker
With shrinkflation so rampant, it's nice to look at a Costco pizza & imagine a conversation at the Food Lab.
[Guy in White Lab Coat]: "Ma'am, I think we've reached the topping limits of what the structure can bear."
[Woman in a Gorilla Costume Swinging from a Rope Above]: "I SAID MORE PEPPERONI!"
[Guy in White Lab Coat]: "Ma'am, I think we've reached the topping limits of what the structure can bear."
[Woman in a Gorilla Costume Swinging from a Rope Above]: "I SAID MORE PEPPERONI!"
October 7, 2025 at 2:33 PM
With shrinkflation so rampant, it's nice to look at a Costco pizza & imagine a conversation at the Food Lab.
[Guy in White Lab Coat]: "Ma'am, I think we've reached the topping limits of what the structure can bear."
[Woman in a Gorilla Costume Swinging from a Rope Above]: "I SAID MORE PEPPERONI!"
[Guy in White Lab Coat]: "Ma'am, I think we've reached the topping limits of what the structure can bear."
[Woman in a Gorilla Costume Swinging from a Rope Above]: "I SAID MORE PEPPERONI!"
Sink Pissers and Shower Peërs have more in common than they think. This feud needs to end.
October 10, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Toxic yaoi about Mike Patton and Anthony Kiedis
September 17, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Toxic yaoi about Mike Patton and Anthony Kiedis
Silicosis really isn't that silly
August 30, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Silicosis really isn't that silly
Sink Pissers and Shower Peërs have more in common than they think. This feud needs to end.
August 9, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Sink Pissers and Shower Peërs have more in common than they think. This feud needs to end.
Reposted by Top Gunker
If I was a liar I’d simply invest in flame retardant pants so no one would know.
July 31, 2025 at 8:02 PM
If I was a liar I’d simply invest in flame retardant pants so no one would know.
Bio-hackers when they find out about deodorant: "This is really nice actually"
July 24, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Bio-hackers when they find out about deodorant: "This is really nice actually"
Props to all my siblings of the stall. Nothing better than an unwashed high five
July 17, 2025 at 3:22 AM
Props to all my siblings of the stall. Nothing better than an unwashed high five
There NEEDS to be another Mad Max game
July 11, 2025 at 10:53 PM
There NEEDS to be another Mad Max game
If my name was Michael I would totally call my penis Michael's Jackson
July 10, 2025 at 9:33 PM
If my name was Michael I would totally call my penis Michael's Jackson
Reposted by Top Gunker
ralsei is probably kind of stinky.
July 5, 2025 at 2:22 PM
ralsei is probably kind of stinky.
Dry fasting to clean my toilet. It's so acidic
July 2, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Dry fasting to clean my toilet. It's so acidic
You know the sitcom's good when it has a Randy in it
June 21, 2025 at 8:22 PM
You know the sitcom's good when it has a Randy in it
I've learned a life lesson today. No finger guns at an open-casket
June 20, 2025 at 2:39 AM
I've learned a life lesson today. No finger guns at an open-casket
do NOT mix OMAD and GOMAD
June 15, 2025 at 4:04 PM
do NOT mix OMAD and GOMAD
Sometimes I'll wake up to myself naked with nothing but boxing gloves on. Something deep inside me longs for naked boxing.
May 28, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Sometimes I'll wake up to myself naked with nothing but boxing gloves on. Something deep inside me longs for naked boxing.
Anyone who thinks one hundred people could beat one gorilla has clearly not played any of the Arkham games
May 18, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Anyone who thinks one hundred people could beat one gorilla has clearly not played any of the Arkham games
Working on a show for TLC. It's like My Strange Addiction except it's about different hicks eating various types of animal shit
May 15, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Working on a show for TLC. It's like My Strange Addiction except it's about different hicks eating various types of animal shit
Trickle-down economics? How cuckish sounding
May 15, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Trickle-down economics? How cuckish sounding
Reposted by Top Gunker
the new york sewer rats have finally elected a new rat pope
May 8, 2025 at 4:18 PM
the new york sewer rats have finally elected a new rat pope
NEW ENERGY DRINK IDEA! An energy drink that DOESN'T make your chest hurt
May 7, 2025 at 5:09 PM
NEW ENERGY DRINK IDEA! An energy drink that DOESN'T make your chest hurt