Tooky Rhymes With Cookie
@tookymonster.bsky.social
Stand-up comic, pop culture enthusiast, potato, in that particular order.
God damn… Josh SUCKS. #MAFS #MarriedAtFirstSight
November 20, 2025 at 5:30 PM
God damn… Josh SUCKS. #MAFS #MarriedAtFirstSight
MFW a child says they’re interested in becoming a politician
November 16, 2025 at 4:51 PM
MFW a child says they’re interested in becoming a politician
When the TL syncs up
November 16, 2025 at 4:49 PM
When the TL syncs up
This is all I remember from Halloween 2025, which means it was a success.
November 2, 2025 at 2:58 PM
This is all I remember from Halloween 2025, which means it was a success.
See???! I’m not crazy! Naming a plant that is NUTS and wildly offensive!
I like “Wandering Dude.”
Gonna start calling my lil purple bb a “Wandering Dude.”
Whoever came up with that alternate name was fckin weird for that.
I like “Wandering Dude.”
Gonna start calling my lil purple bb a “Wandering Dude.”
Whoever came up with that alternate name was fckin weird for that.
October 23, 2025 at 10:17 PM
See???! I’m not crazy! Naming a plant that is NUTS and wildly offensive!
I like “Wandering Dude.”
Gonna start calling my lil purple bb a “Wandering Dude.”
Whoever came up with that alternate name was fckin weird for that.
I like “Wandering Dude.”
Gonna start calling my lil purple bb a “Wandering Dude.”
Whoever came up with that alternate name was fckin weird for that.
And here’s a lil sumn sumn for Spooky SZN.
October 21, 2025 at 8:29 PM
And here’s a lil sumn sumn for Spooky SZN.
I’m a big ol’ fraidy cat about it but … OK screw it. I’m gonna post some recent art I’ve made on here.
It’ll get 6 views but hey, if you 6 fine folks like, it then a HUGE thank you in advance. 🫶🏽
It’ll get 6 views but hey, if you 6 fine folks like, it then a HUGE thank you in advance. 🫶🏽
October 21, 2025 at 8:29 PM
I’m a big ol’ fraidy cat about it but … OK screw it. I’m gonna post some recent art I’ve made on here.
It’ll get 6 views but hey, if you 6 fine folks like, it then a HUGE thank you in advance. 🫶🏽
It’ll get 6 views but hey, if you 6 fine folks like, it then a HUGE thank you in advance. 🫶🏽
V proud of the fact that I put together this cabinet by all myself – in two hours. The only hard part that took the most time was assembling the doors. Otherwise, a breeze!
October 14, 2025 at 7:17 PM
V proud of the fact that I put together this cabinet by all myself – in two hours. The only hard part that took the most time was assembling the doors. Otherwise, a breeze!
Y’all fw west coast rap and DIY home repairs?
September 20, 2025 at 11:40 AM
Y’all fw west coast rap and DIY home repairs?
Did you know my job is jokes?
Come see me do jokes.
You won’t regret it.
Come see me do jokes.
You won’t regret it.
July 26, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Did you know my job is jokes?
Come see me do jokes.
You won’t regret it.
Come see me do jokes.
You won’t regret it.
This is literally a personal attack and I hate it.
June 27, 2025 at 7:13 PM
This is literally a personal attack and I hate it.
You: “Omg! How deep into the internet have you scrolled?”
Me: “Yes.”
Me: “Yes.”
June 26, 2025 at 9:48 PM
You: “Omg! How deep into the internet have you scrolled?”
Me: “Yes.”
Me: “Yes.”
We love you, Ananda.
Rest easy 🤍
Rest easy 🤍
June 12, 2025 at 1:06 AM
We love you, Ananda.
Rest easy 🤍
Rest easy 🤍
$425K?!
And I bet it took him a day to make.
This bird took me six weeks!!!
Idk why I try.
And I bet it took him a day to make.
This bird took me six weeks!!!
Idk why I try.
May 29, 2025 at 2:37 AM
$425K?!
And I bet it took him a day to make.
This bird took me six weeks!!!
Idk why I try.
And I bet it took him a day to make.
This bird took me six weeks!!!
Idk why I try.
Ay, Big Dawg… tell a friend to tell a friend to tell a friend that I’m headlining at Trident Books in Boston, MA this Saturday. The theme is family.
Will I wear something insane?
I can neither confirm nor deny this allegation, but grab a ticket & come see for yourself!
—> tinyurl.com/TookyFam
Will I wear something insane?
I can neither confirm nor deny this allegation, but grab a ticket & come see for yourself!
—> tinyurl.com/TookyFam
May 18, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Ay, Big Dawg… tell a friend to tell a friend to tell a friend that I’m headlining at Trident Books in Boston, MA this Saturday. The theme is family.
Will I wear something insane?
I can neither confirm nor deny this allegation, but grab a ticket & come see for yourself!
—> tinyurl.com/TookyFam
Will I wear something insane?
I can neither confirm nor deny this allegation, but grab a ticket & come see for yourself!
—> tinyurl.com/TookyFam
FRIDAYYYYYY!!!!
May 4, 2025 at 2:06 PM
FRIDAYYYYYY!!!!
Speaking of me wearing some BS.…
I’m HEADLINING Glovebox Comedy at The Point in Boston, MA on May 9th and The Comedy Scene at Patriot Place in Foxboro, MA on June 20th.
Tonight I’ll be at The Comedy Studio in Cambridge, MA, but dressed like a normie.
Check my website for tix and see you soon!
I’m HEADLINING Glovebox Comedy at The Point in Boston, MA on May 9th and The Comedy Scene at Patriot Place in Foxboro, MA on June 20th.
Tonight I’ll be at The Comedy Studio in Cambridge, MA, but dressed like a normie.
Check my website for tix and see you soon!
May 2, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Speaking of me wearing some BS.…
I’m HEADLINING Glovebox Comedy at The Point in Boston, MA on May 9th and The Comedy Scene at Patriot Place in Foxboro, MA on June 20th.
Tonight I’ll be at The Comedy Studio in Cambridge, MA, but dressed like a normie.
Check my website for tix and see you soon!
I’m HEADLINING Glovebox Comedy at The Point in Boston, MA on May 9th and The Comedy Scene at Patriot Place in Foxboro, MA on June 20th.
Tonight I’ll be at The Comedy Studio in Cambridge, MA, but dressed like a normie.
Check my website for tix and see you soon!
One of my favorite genres is the sh!tty photoshop on Amazon “before & after” photos. They’re so bad it’s art.
April 19, 2025 at 6:39 PM
One of my favorite genres is the sh!tty photoshop on Amazon “before & after” photos. They’re so bad it’s art.
“I'm hungry, I'm dirty
I'm losin' my mind, everything's fine!”
I'm losin' my mind, everything's fine!”
April 13, 2025 at 2:44 PM
“I'm hungry, I'm dirty
I'm losin' my mind, everything's fine!”
I'm losin' my mind, everything's fine!”
The fact that this is what April in New England can look like from time to time is devastating.
April 12, 2025 at 12:17 PM
The fact that this is what April in New England can look like from time to time is devastating.
“LiBeRaTiOn dAy”
People… he’s trying to “liberate” you from your hard earned MONEY.
People… he’s trying to “liberate” you from your hard earned MONEY.
April 3, 2025 at 1:14 AM
“LiBeRaTiOn dAy”
People… he’s trying to “liberate” you from your hard earned MONEY.
People… he’s trying to “liberate” you from your hard earned MONEY.
OK then, Frog. Be a diva.
March 28, 2025 at 9:29 AM
OK then, Frog. Be a diva.
Hey, Duolingo… why???
March 25, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Hey, Duolingo… why???