Waking up and eating McDonald's breakfast is the equivalent to waking up in Stardew Valley, spending all your energy on watering crops, and going back to bed at 8am
December 15, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Waking up and eating McDonald's breakfast is the equivalent to waking up in Stardew Valley, spending all your energy on watering crops, and going back to bed at 8am
I placed an order for a pizza online.
Immediately get a call from the restaurant.
"Hey, is this Tom?"
"Yeah."
"I see your order. I just wanted to let you know it's going to be disgusting."
Immediately get a call from the restaurant.
"Hey, is this Tom?"
"Yeah."
"I see your order. I just wanted to let you know it's going to be disgusting."
December 8, 2025 at 9:54 PM
I placed an order for a pizza online.
Immediately get a call from the restaurant.
"Hey, is this Tom?"
"Yeah."
"I see your order. I just wanted to let you know it's going to be disgusting."
Immediately get a call from the restaurant.
"Hey, is this Tom?"
"Yeah."
"I see your order. I just wanted to let you know it's going to be disgusting."
Wicked: For Good was an absolute rehash of Destiny 2. I've already seen the story of Peter Dinklage losing his voice.
December 3, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Wicked: For Good was an absolute rehash of Destiny 2. I've already seen the story of Peter Dinklage losing his voice.
Anyone who says the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" has never played a physics based puzzle game.
November 24, 2025 at 9:12 AM
Anyone who says the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" has never played a physics based puzzle game.
I can't believe I burnt my hand making Eggo waffles and I ended up more disfigured than the girl from Ready Player One
November 14, 2025 at 1:34 AM
I can't believe I burnt my hand making Eggo waffles and I ended up more disfigured than the girl from Ready Player One
Got asked to partake in a survey for reddit
November 10, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Got asked to partake in a survey for reddit
I want to put a sticker on my front bumper that says "if you can read this, I'm tailgating"
November 5, 2025 at 9:54 PM
I want to put a sticker on my front bumper that says "if you can read this, I'm tailgating"
I bet there's people out there that see it's raining and think "I have to take my car for a drive and get a free car wash."
It's good odds because I'm those people.
It's good odds because I'm those people.
November 5, 2025 at 9:54 PM
I bet there's people out there that see it's raining and think "I have to take my car for a drive and get a free car wash."
It's good odds because I'm those people.
It's good odds because I'm those people.
Thinking about writing a movie about a bunch of kind and charitable people donating their time to people in need and then hiring only method actors. Maybe hire Francis Ford Coppola to direct so it gets stuck in production hell for 12 years. Thoughts?
November 3, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Thinking about writing a movie about a bunch of kind and charitable people donating their time to people in need and then hiring only method actors. Maybe hire Francis Ford Coppola to direct so it gets stuck in production hell for 12 years. Thoughts?
Haven't heard back from her 😞
November 3, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Haven't heard back from her 😞
So this 24 hour thing is some sick joke?
October 22, 2025 at 4:25 AM
So this 24 hour thing is some sick joke?
The founders of Hooters' would think this, wouldn't they?
October 20, 2025 at 8:53 AM
The founders of Hooters' would think this, wouldn't they?
People say they hate going to the grocery store hungry because they buy too many snacks. I make sure to always sniff my glue before going to Staples.
October 20, 2025 at 5:19 AM
People say they hate going to the grocery store hungry because they buy too many snacks. I make sure to always sniff my glue before going to Staples.
It's so frustrating when my prescription comes in a green pill. It's like, great, now I gotta find a green drink to take it with.
October 20, 2025 at 12:33 AM
It's so frustrating when my prescription comes in a green pill. It's like, great, now I gotta find a green drink to take it with.
I thought Stranger Things had the world record for overusing "Running Up That Hill" until I watched Peacemaker overuse "Oh Lord"
October 14, 2025 at 8:28 AM
I thought Stranger Things had the world record for overusing "Running Up That Hill" until I watched Peacemaker overuse "Oh Lord"
Mansplaining domestic assault to your wife to gaslight her might be the best scene in The Sopranos
October 10, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Mansplaining domestic assault to your wife to gaslight her might be the best scene in The Sopranos
Why do I always have to put my ducks in a row? Why can't they be in a column? I want some verticality in my ducks.
October 1, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Why do I always have to put my ducks in a row? Why can't they be in a column? I want some verticality in my ducks.
As if life wasn't confusing enough. There's a "multiple appearances" section on the "One Hit Wonder" Wikipedia article.
September 7, 2025 at 8:02 AM
As if life wasn't confusing enough. There's a "multiple appearances" section on the "One Hit Wonder" Wikipedia article.
Is it really that important to unionize? I still don't see how restoring the amount of electrons in an atom will help our workforce.
August 23, 2025 at 10:28 AM
Is it really that important to unionize? I still don't see how restoring the amount of electrons in an atom will help our workforce.
Ain't no way my dad wanted a beer at a restaurant and ordered a "cold brew."
August 21, 2025 at 12:08 PM
Ain't no way my dad wanted a beer at a restaurant and ordered a "cold brew."
Safdie brothers competing to put my least favorite people in their movies
August 16, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Safdie brothers competing to put my least favorite people in their movies
Sometimes I think about that really cool mini golf shot I made
August 16, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Sometimes I think about that really cool mini golf shot I made
You know your dad is a car guy when he describes your mom's cancer diagnosis as "it's like inline filters."
August 5, 2025 at 5:56 PM
You know your dad is a car guy when he describes your mom's cancer diagnosis as "it's like inline filters."
