Tom McWhirter
@tmcwhirter.bsky.social
Senior Editor at Penguin Random House Audio, via Oxford, Southampton, London and the rest.
Let’s see how this one goes…
Let’s see how this one goes…
Reposted by Tom McWhirter
“Tasted a little tear gas— tasted like fascism”
June 8, 2025 at 4:40 AM
“Tasted a little tear gas— tasted like fascism”
Reposted by Tom McWhirter
![Scene is WAITROSE CUSTOMER SERVICES DESK. Behind it is a staff member, whose name we will soon learn is BECKY. She is dealing with a customer, for now out of shot, while talking to her manager on the phone.
BECKY [on phone]:
Yeah, hiya...
2
BECKY:
Yes I have a customer here who wants to complain about the Easter eggs.
3
BECKY [putting hand over receiver while addressing the customer stood at the desk in front of her]:
Sorry what was your name again?
4
[Pull back to show the customer is a very tall, green-skinned, PAGAN GODDESS, festooned with flowers. Stood next to her is her son, a normal human teenager in a hoodie, who looks mortified by his mum.]
PAGAN GODDESS:
Eostre the Pagan Goddess of Fertility
5
BECKY
Sorry -
Your name is Easter…?
PAGAN GODDESS:
Eostre.
6
VICKY:
Your name is Easter and you want to complain about the Easter eggs.
7
PAGAN GODDESS:
Sorry love, what’s your name?
BECKY:
Becky
PAGAN GODDESS:
Well, Vicky -
8
PAGAN GODDESS:
If it was you who’d shagged the solar god of the Equinox to give birth to an actual living god - my son Darren here -
TEENAGE BOY:
Muuum…
9
PAGAN GODDESS:
….only to have all your efforts totally forgotten by history, you’d have a complaint too!
10
PAGAN GODDESS:
Aisle four is full of products, with no hint of the true meaning of the festival!
11
BECKY:
You mean… Jesus…?
PAGAN GODDESS:
I mean shagging, Vicky.
12
PAGAN GODDESS:
Is it too much to see just a little bit of pre-Christian sex in Aisle 4?
TEENAGE BOY:
MUUUUM](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiei7pigtocoghwiww3vhhm4lj2os2ifvc7yzggcj7jn6gresjpdkq@jpeg)
Reposted by Tom McWhirter
Reposted by Tom McWhirter
Thinking of making these a thing.
April 5, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Thinking of making these a thing.
Heartworms. Incredible
February 13, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Heartworms. Incredible
How worried should I be that I had exactly 666 emails waiting for me on my return to work?
January 6, 2025 at 7:50 PM
How worried should I be that I had exactly 666 emails waiting for me on my return to work?
Nonna Tom starting the year as he means to go on
January 1, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Nonna Tom starting the year as he means to go on
New mantra for the next 10 days: ‘it’s not problematic, it’s festive’
December 22, 2024 at 12:06 PM
New mantra for the next 10 days: ‘it’s not problematic, it’s festive’
@resident-music.com really getting my end of year vibe
December 19, 2024 at 5:54 PM
@resident-music.com really getting my end of year vibe
As commutes go…
The one and only
The one and only
November 28, 2024 at 11:23 AM
As commutes go…
The one and only
The one and only
The ideal review
November 26, 2024 at 10:13 PM
The ideal review
Reposted by Tom McWhirter
Bluesky: City On The Grow!
November 15, 2024 at 1:23 PM
Bluesky: City On The Grow!