🌀🚨 Timeline of Absurdity™ | Now Featuring Extra Glitches 🍿🔥
@tlofabsurdity.bsky.social
🌍 Earth v.2025 – Patch notes, hotfixes, and new game-breaking bugs for the Timeline of Absurdity.
⚠️ Warning: This reality is still in beta testing. Expect bugs, glitches, and inexplicable nonsense.
📡 timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com
⚠️ Warning: This reality is still in beta testing. Expect bugs, glitches, and inexplicable nonsense.
📡 timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com
Pinned
📡 Welcome to the Timeline of Absurdity™ 🌀🔥
Documenting the unhinged patch notes of Earth v.2025—because reality is clearly still in beta testing.
Expect:
✅ Weird bugs & glitches
✅ Confusing updates
✅ Cosmic nonsense
📌 Follow for updates. Buckle up. It’s only getting weirder. 🚀
Documenting the unhinged patch notes of Earth v.2025—because reality is clearly still in beta testing.
Expect:
✅ Weird bugs & glitches
✅ Confusing updates
✅ Cosmic nonsense
📌 Follow for updates. Buckle up. It’s only getting weirder. 🚀
Targets reported to have experienced enhanced clarity, surprise cash influx, and spontaneous spiritual upgrades.
Source possibly initiated own shadow awakening and now confused why everything feels weird and "off."
(3/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity
Source possibly initiated own shadow awakening and now confused why everything feels weird and "off."
(3/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity
September 15, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Targets reported to have experienced enhanced clarity, surprise cash influx, and spontaneous spiritual upgrades.
Source possibly initiated own shadow awakening and now confused why everything feels weird and "off."
(3/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity
Source possibly initiated own shadow awakening and now confused why everything feels weird and "off."
(3/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity
The herb of clarity, success, abundance, protection. Solar-aligned and notoriously pro-blessing. Yes. That one.
That’s like trying to hex someone with a rainbow and then being surprised when their credit score goes up.
(2/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity
That’s like trying to hex someone with a rainbow and then being surprised when their credit score goes up.
(2/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity
September 15, 2025 at 5:22 PM
The herb of clarity, success, abundance, protection. Solar-aligned and notoriously pro-blessing. Yes. That one.
That’s like trying to hex someone with a rainbow and then being surprised when their credit score goes up.
(2/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity
That’s like trying to hex someone with a rainbow and then being surprised when their credit score goes up.
(2/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity
⚠️ Timeline of Absurdity™ Patch Note v2025.9.15
[BUG/Undocumented Feature] – The Great Bay Leaf Backfire
Status: Catastrophic Backfire
Notes: During eclipse season, a conservative apparently tried to curse certain liberals using a bay leaf. Yes. A bay leaf.
(1/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity
[BUG/Undocumented Feature] – The Great Bay Leaf Backfire
Status: Catastrophic Backfire
Notes: During eclipse season, a conservative apparently tried to curse certain liberals using a bay leaf. Yes. A bay leaf.
(1/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity
September 15, 2025 at 5:22 PM
⚠️ Timeline of Absurdity™ Patch Note v2025.9.15
[BUG/Undocumented Feature] – The Great Bay Leaf Backfire
Status: Catastrophic Backfire
Notes: During eclipse season, a conservative apparently tried to curse certain liberals using a bay leaf. Yes. A bay leaf.
(1/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity
[BUG/Undocumented Feature] – The Great Bay Leaf Backfire
Status: Catastrophic Backfire
Notes: During eclipse season, a conservative apparently tried to curse certain liberals using a bay leaf. Yes. A bay leaf.
(1/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity
Reposted by 🌀🚨 Timeline of Absurdity™ | Now Featuring Extra Glitches 🍿🔥
June 30, 2025 at 4:02 AM
🌀 Timeline of Absurdity: Int'l Edition
What’s the deal with the US funding "deportations" to El Salvador’s mega-prison?
Tarot says:
💘 Lovers – They chose this deal
🔥 5/W Rx – Chaos behind the scenes
🐌 8/W Rx – They’re trying to block or delay the truth
War crimes via partnership? Stay tuned. 👀
What’s the deal with the US funding "deportations" to El Salvador’s mega-prison?
Tarot says:
💘 Lovers – They chose this deal
🔥 5/W Rx – Chaos behind the scenes
🐌 8/W Rx – They’re trying to block or delay the truth
War crimes via partnership? Stay tuned. 👀
April 22, 2025 at 4:25 AM
🌀 Timeline of Absurdity: Int'l Edition
What’s the deal with the US funding "deportations" to El Salvador’s mega-prison?
Tarot says:
💘 Lovers – They chose this deal
🔥 5/W Rx – Chaos behind the scenes
🐌 8/W Rx – They’re trying to block or delay the truth
War crimes via partnership? Stay tuned. 👀
What’s the deal with the US funding "deportations" to El Salvador’s mega-prison?
Tarot says:
💘 Lovers – They chose this deal
🔥 5/W Rx – Chaos behind the scenes
🐌 8/W Rx – They’re trying to block or delay the truth
War crimes via partnership? Stay tuned. 👀
👜Timeline of Absurdity Update:
Kristi Noem’s purse “stolen” under Secret Service watch.
$3K + passport missing.
Tarot says:
Hermit Rx – “I’m not telling you everything.”
10/Wands Rx – “I dropped it. Probably literally.”
9/Pentacles – “I’m fine. Don’t look over there.”
#timeline #absurdity #tarot
Kristi Noem’s purse “stolen” under Secret Service watch.
$3K + passport missing.
Tarot says:
Hermit Rx – “I’m not telling you everything.”
10/Wands Rx – “I dropped it. Probably literally.”
9/Pentacles – “I’m fine. Don’t look over there.”
#timeline #absurdity #tarot
April 22, 2025 at 4:11 AM
👜Timeline of Absurdity Update:
Kristi Noem’s purse “stolen” under Secret Service watch.
$3K + passport missing.
Tarot says:
Hermit Rx – “I’m not telling you everything.”
10/Wands Rx – “I dropped it. Probably literally.”
9/Pentacles – “I’m fine. Don’t look over there.”
#timeline #absurdity #tarot
Kristi Noem’s purse “stolen” under Secret Service watch.
$3K + passport missing.
Tarot says:
Hermit Rx – “I’m not telling you everything.”
10/Wands Rx – “I dropped it. Probably literally.”
9/Pentacles – “I’m fine. Don’t look over there.”
#timeline #absurdity #tarot
Reposted by 🌀🚨 Timeline of Absurdity™ | Now Featuring Extra Glitches 🍿🔥
If you have to leave Earth to feel love… that’s telling.
April 15, 2025 at 10:30 PM
If you have to leave Earth to feel love… that’s telling.
☕🔥 The Brewpocalypse is here.
Fictional blends. Real catharsis.
Coffee, Chaos, and Collapse—now live on the blog.
Because if we’re spiraling, we’re doing it caffeinated.
👉 timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/04/07/c...
#Brewpocalypse #SacredAbsurdity #CoffeeIsMyRitual #Satire
Fictional blends. Real catharsis.
Coffee, Chaos, and Collapse—now live on the blog.
Because if we’re spiraling, we’re doing it caffeinated.
👉 timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/04/07/c...
#Brewpocalypse #SacredAbsurdity #CoffeeIsMyRitual #Satire
Coffee, Chaos, and Brewpocalypse
How I Plan to Save the U.S. by Growing Coffee in My Basement: A Totally Viable, Not-At-All-Ridiculous Plan
timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com
April 8, 2025 at 1:53 PM
☕🔥 The Brewpocalypse is here.
Fictional blends. Real catharsis.
Coffee, Chaos, and Collapse—now live on the blog.
Because if we’re spiraling, we’re doing it caffeinated.
👉 timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/04/07/c...
#Brewpocalypse #SacredAbsurdity #CoffeeIsMyRitual #Satire
Fictional blends. Real catharsis.
Coffee, Chaos, and Collapse—now live on the blog.
Because if we’re spiraling, we’re doing it caffeinated.
👉 timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/04/07/c...
#Brewpocalypse #SacredAbsurdity #CoffeeIsMyRitual #Satire
Reposted by 🌀🚨 Timeline of Absurdity™ | Now Featuring Extra Glitches 🍿🔥
What started as a fun personal tarot reading became something else.
The World reversed. The Devil reversed.
No map. Just vibes.
A nudge to share that I can't ignore.
mylettersfrombeyondthefire.com/2025/04/03/t...
#tarot #occultsky #tarotsky #spirituality
The World reversed. The Devil reversed.
No map. Just vibes.
A nudge to share that I can't ignore.
mylettersfrombeyondthefire.com/2025/04/03/t...
#tarot #occultsky #tarotsky #spirituality
The Liberation Spread: A Tarot Reading for These Absurd Times
I don’t usually share my tarot readings like this, blasting my spreads into the void of the internet. Most of the time, they’re personal, reflective, and just for me. But this one? This one felt di…
mylettersfrombeyondthefire.com
April 4, 2025 at 2:02 AM
What started as a fun personal tarot reading became something else.
The World reversed. The Devil reversed.
No map. Just vibes.
A nudge to share that I can't ignore.
mylettersfrombeyondthefire.com/2025/04/03/t...
#tarot #occultsky #tarotsky #spirituality
The World reversed. The Devil reversed.
No map. Just vibes.
A nudge to share that I can't ignore.
mylettersfrombeyondthefire.com/2025/04/03/t...
#tarot #occultsky #tarotsky #spirituality
📜 Timeline Patch Notes v2025.4.1 ✨
🎙️ Poetic Justice Hotfix v25.0.1
🔥 Senator Cory Booker officially shattered a racist 67-year-old record on the Senate floor with 25 hours of fire, truth, and unapologetic democracy.
(1/3)
#CoryBooker #Resistance
🎙️ Poetic Justice Hotfix v25.0.1
🔥 Senator Cory Booker officially shattered a racist 67-year-old record on the Senate floor with 25 hours of fire, truth, and unapologetic democracy.
(1/3)
#CoryBooker #Resistance
April 2, 2025 at 12:48 AM
📜 Timeline Patch Notes v2025.4.1 ✨
🎙️ Poetic Justice Hotfix v25.0.1
🔥 Senator Cory Booker officially shattered a racist 67-year-old record on the Senate floor with 25 hours of fire, truth, and unapologetic democracy.
(1/3)
#CoryBooker #Resistance
🎙️ Poetic Justice Hotfix v25.0.1
🔥 Senator Cory Booker officially shattered a racist 67-year-old record on the Senate floor with 25 hours of fire, truth, and unapologetic democracy.
(1/3)
#CoryBooker #Resistance
⚠️ Known Issue: National security protocols are still nerfed. Players should not expect consistency between state secrets and Marvel trailers. Movie studios remain at max secrecy tier.
March 29, 2025 at 11:10 PM
⚠️ Known Issue: National security protocols are still nerfed. Players should not expect consistency between state secrets and Marvel trailers. Movie studios remain at max secrecy tier.
Reposted by 🌀🚨 Timeline of Absurdity™ | Now Featuring Extra Glitches 🍿🔥
The shock and awe is supposed to overwhelm us and by God it feels like it’s working some days.
Take a break. Take a walk. Take a smoke. Take a drink.
Whatever you need. And then come back.
Take a break. Take a walk. Take a smoke. Take a drink.
Whatever you need. And then come back.
March 25, 2025 at 10:00 PM
The shock and awe is supposed to overwhelm us and by God it feels like it’s working some days.
Take a break. Take a walk. Take a smoke. Take a drink.
Whatever you need. And then come back.
Take a break. Take a walk. Take a smoke. Take a drink.
Whatever you need. And then come back.
🛠️✨ Timeline Simulation Patch v2025.3.25.🧠❌ deployed.
Communications glitched. Reality broke harder. The cats are tired, the raccoons are horrified, and the squirrels are thriving. Absurdity mode remains active.
📜🐿️ Full notes:
timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/03/25/t...
#satire #PatchNotes
Communications glitched. Reality broke harder. The cats are tired, the raccoons are horrified, and the squirrels are thriving. Absurdity mode remains active.
📜🐿️ Full notes:
timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/03/25/t...
#satire #PatchNotes
🛠 Timeline Simulation Patch Notes v2025.3.25.🧠❌: Idiocracy Expansion & Summoning Mishaps
TL;DR: Political chaos, institutional failure, summoning events, justified public outrage, and timeline corruption.
timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com
March 25, 2025 at 9:42 PM
🛠️✨ Timeline Simulation Patch v2025.3.25.🧠❌ deployed.
Communications glitched. Reality broke harder. The cats are tired, the raccoons are horrified, and the squirrels are thriving. Absurdity mode remains active.
📜🐿️ Full notes:
timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/03/25/t...
#satire #PatchNotes
Communications glitched. Reality broke harder. The cats are tired, the raccoons are horrified, and the squirrels are thriving. Absurdity mode remains active.
📜🐿️ Full notes:
timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/03/25/t...
#satire #PatchNotes
🛠️ Patch Note Incoming: Narrative Control Subsystem Corrupted. Increased Public Awakening Detected.
Caesar.exe has encountered an unexpected betrayal. Updating timeline...
Caesar.exe has encountered an unexpected betrayal. Updating timeline...
March 25, 2025 at 1:58 PM
🛠️ Patch Note Incoming: Narrative Control Subsystem Corrupted. Increased Public Awakening Detected.
Caesar.exe has encountered an unexpected betrayal. Updating timeline...
Caesar.exe has encountered an unexpected betrayal. Updating timeline...
🔹 Hotfix Detected:
Bedtime Glitch in Child v2.0 may have been resolved.
Patch: Activated self-initiation of sleep protocol at 9:30pm.
Stability improvements: No late-night chaos, emotional breakdowns, or impromptu existential discussions about the universe (yet).
Bedtime Glitch in Child v2.0 may have been resolved.
Patch: Activated self-initiation of sleep protocol at 9:30pm.
Stability improvements: No late-night chaos, emotional breakdowns, or impromptu existential discussions about the universe (yet).
March 25, 2025 at 3:29 AM
🔹 Hotfix Detected:
Bedtime Glitch in Child v2.0 may have been resolved.
Patch: Activated self-initiation of sleep protocol at 9:30pm.
Stability improvements: No late-night chaos, emotional breakdowns, or impromptu existential discussions about the universe (yet).
Bedtime Glitch in Child v2.0 may have been resolved.
Patch: Activated self-initiation of sleep protocol at 9:30pm.
Stability improvements: No late-night chaos, emotional breakdowns, or impromptu existential discussions about the universe (yet).
🚀 Timeline of Absurdity™ Special: Retrograde-palooza & Cosmic Shenanigans
⚠️ Warning: Multiple Retrogrades in Effect. Proceed with Snacks.
timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/03/19/%...
#TimelineOfAbsurdity #satire #astrologyFun #shenanigans #retrograde
⚠️ Warning: Multiple Retrogrades in Effect. Proceed with Snacks.
timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/03/19/%...
#TimelineOfAbsurdity #satire #astrologyFun #shenanigans #retrograde
🚀 Planetary Chaos Report: Retrograde-palooza & Cosmic Shenanigans💫
If life has felt like a confusing, chaotic mess lately, you’re not imagining it. We’re currently caught in the cosmic crossfire of multiple retrogrades, an eclipse aftermath, and an upcoming equino…
timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com
March 19, 2025 at 7:14 PM
🚀 Timeline of Absurdity™ Special: Retrograde-palooza & Cosmic Shenanigans
⚠️ Warning: Multiple Retrogrades in Effect. Proceed with Snacks.
timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/03/19/%...
#TimelineOfAbsurdity #satire #astrologyFun #shenanigans #retrograde
⚠️ Warning: Multiple Retrogrades in Effect. Proceed with Snacks.
timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/03/19/%...
#TimelineOfAbsurdity #satire #astrologyFun #shenanigans #retrograde
Reposted by 🌀🚨 Timeline of Absurdity™ | Now Featuring Extra Glitches 🍿🔥
🌿The fledgling potion fervently foamed into a #flocculent mass,
babbling and bubbling with a strange new energy.
In a hasty hiss, it simmered and stretched,
promptly shattering in a shower of shimmering chaos.✨
#vss365
babbling and bubbling with a strange new energy.
In a hasty hiss, it simmered and stretched,
promptly shattering in a shower of shimmering chaos.✨
#vss365
March 12, 2025 at 2:21 AM
🌿The fledgling potion fervently foamed into a #flocculent mass,
babbling and bubbling with a strange new energy.
In a hasty hiss, it simmered and stretched,
promptly shattering in a shower of shimmering chaos.✨
#vss365
babbling and bubbling with a strange new energy.
In a hasty hiss, it simmered and stretched,
promptly shattering in a shower of shimmering chaos.✨
#vss365
🚨 Timeline Patch v2025.3.11.🥴 🚨 – Reality Buffering… Please Hold
🛠 Gov & corporate fully fused (Tesla infomercial @ WH).
🔥 Foreign policy now WWE. Reality & satire indistinguishable.
🐛 Billionaires hoarding, rich playing victim, people voting for suffering.
🛠 Gov & corporate fully fused (Tesla infomercial @ WH).
🔥 Foreign policy now WWE. Reality & satire indistinguishable.
🐛 Billionaires hoarding, rich playing victim, people voting for suffering.
🚨 Timeline Patch Notes v2025.3.11.🥴 🚨 – Reality Buffering… Please Hold
Reality and satire fully merged. No further distinction required.
timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com
March 11, 2025 at 9:50 PM
🚨 Timeline Patch v2025.3.11.🥴 🚨 – Reality Buffering… Please Hold
🛠 Gov & corporate fully fused (Tesla infomercial @ WH).
🔥 Foreign policy now WWE. Reality & satire indistinguishable.
🐛 Billionaires hoarding, rich playing victim, people voting for suffering.
🛠 Gov & corporate fully fused (Tesla infomercial @ WH).
🔥 Foreign policy now WWE. Reality & satire indistinguishable.
🐛 Billionaires hoarding, rich playing victim, people voting for suffering.
🚨 Patch 2025.3.9.⏰ - Daylight Regression Time
🕰️ System Clock Adjusted – Lost 1 hour. Gained existential dread.
🏛️ Historical Reboot Stuck – Some users still in 1939.
🔄 Spring Forward Bug – Progress rollback by legacy systems.
🔧 Fix Pending – Manual reinstallation of "Basic Human Rights” needed.
🕰️ System Clock Adjusted – Lost 1 hour. Gained existential dread.
🏛️ Historical Reboot Stuck – Some users still in 1939.
🔄 Spring Forward Bug – Progress rollback by legacy systems.
🔧 Fix Pending – Manual reinstallation of "Basic Human Rights” needed.
March 11, 2025 at 8:55 PM
🚨 Patch 2025.3.9.⏰ - Daylight Regression Time
🕰️ System Clock Adjusted – Lost 1 hour. Gained existential dread.
🏛️ Historical Reboot Stuck – Some users still in 1939.
🔄 Spring Forward Bug – Progress rollback by legacy systems.
🔧 Fix Pending – Manual reinstallation of "Basic Human Rights” needed.
🕰️ System Clock Adjusted – Lost 1 hour. Gained existential dread.
🏛️ Historical Reboot Stuck – Some users still in 1939.
🔄 Spring Forward Bug – Progress rollback by legacy systems.
🔧 Fix Pending – Manual reinstallation of "Basic Human Rights” needed.
Reposted by 🌀🚨 Timeline of Absurdity™ | Now Featuring Extra Glitches 🍿🔥
If EVER you wanted a trained squirrel, this was it!
March 7, 2025 at 11:11 PM
If EVER you wanted a trained squirrel, this was it!
Reposted by 🌀🚨 Timeline of Absurdity™ | Now Featuring Extra Glitches 🍿🔥
🚨 Security Patch 2025.3.7.🦅 - Malware Rollback (2) -
⚖️💰 Democracy Integrity Patch Failed – Rollback rejected. Safeguards insufficient.
🔥 Malware Removal Tool Suggested – Manual uninstallation may be required.
⚠️ WARNING: Further exposure to malicious propaganda may cause system-wide regression.
⚖️💰 Democracy Integrity Patch Failed – Rollback rejected. Safeguards insufficient.
🔥 Malware Removal Tool Suggested – Manual uninstallation may be required.
⚠️ WARNING: Further exposure to malicious propaganda may cause system-wide regression.
March 7, 2025 at 11:34 PM
🚨 Security Patch 2025.3.7.🦅 - Malware Rollback (2) -
⚖️💰 Democracy Integrity Patch Failed – Rollback rejected. Safeguards insufficient.
🔥 Malware Removal Tool Suggested – Manual uninstallation may be required.
⚠️ WARNING: Further exposure to malicious propaganda may cause system-wide regression.
⚖️💰 Democracy Integrity Patch Failed – Rollback rejected. Safeguards insufficient.
🔥 Malware Removal Tool Suggested – Manual uninstallation may be required.
⚠️ WARNING: Further exposure to malicious propaganda may cause system-wide regression.
🚨 Security Patch 2025.3.7.🦅 - Malware Rollback (1) -
🇷🇺 Critical Security Vulnerability Detected – Malicious entity attempting unauthorized control.
🍊 System Rollback Attempt: Error 47 – Removal failed. Corruption persists. See Error 45.
🖕 Firewall Breach – GOP compliance auto-reinstalled malware.
🇷🇺 Critical Security Vulnerability Detected – Malicious entity attempting unauthorized control.
🍊 System Rollback Attempt: Error 47 – Removal failed. Corruption persists. See Error 45.
🖕 Firewall Breach – GOP compliance auto-reinstalled malware.
March 7, 2025 at 11:34 PM
🚨 Security Patch 2025.3.7.🦅 - Malware Rollback (1) -
🇷🇺 Critical Security Vulnerability Detected – Malicious entity attempting unauthorized control.
🍊 System Rollback Attempt: Error 47 – Removal failed. Corruption persists. See Error 45.
🖕 Firewall Breach – GOP compliance auto-reinstalled malware.
🇷🇺 Critical Security Vulnerability Detected – Malicious entity attempting unauthorized control.
🍊 System Rollback Attempt: Error 47 – Removal failed. Corruption persists. See Error 45.
🖕 Firewall Breach – GOP compliance auto-reinstalled malware.
📡 Welcome to the Timeline of Absurdity™ 🌀🔥
Documenting the unhinged patch notes of Earth v.2025—because reality is clearly still in beta testing.
Expect:
✅ Weird bugs & glitches
✅ Confusing updates
✅ Cosmic nonsense
📌 Follow for updates. Buckle up. It’s only getting weirder. 🚀
Documenting the unhinged patch notes of Earth v.2025—because reality is clearly still in beta testing.
Expect:
✅ Weird bugs & glitches
✅ Confusing updates
✅ Cosmic nonsense
📌 Follow for updates. Buckle up. It’s only getting weirder. 🚀
March 7, 2025 at 9:15 PM
📡 Welcome to the Timeline of Absurdity™ 🌀🔥
Documenting the unhinged patch notes of Earth v.2025—because reality is clearly still in beta testing.
Expect:
✅ Weird bugs & glitches
✅ Confusing updates
✅ Cosmic nonsense
📌 Follow for updates. Buckle up. It’s only getting weirder. 🚀
Documenting the unhinged patch notes of Earth v.2025—because reality is clearly still in beta testing.
Expect:
✅ Weird bugs & glitches
✅ Confusing updates
✅ Cosmic nonsense
📌 Follow for updates. Buckle up. It’s only getting weirder. 🚀