If you _really_ don't want CPR, try:

"I have a large capacitor laparoscopically implanted between my aorta and superior vena cava. Any significant voltage applied over my chest will cause it to explode, killing me instantly, and potentially injuring you too. DO NOT RESUSCITATE"

But then I "just" need to "quickly" grab something from this one API and before you know it I've added another 300 lines to the constellation of shell scripts which keep my life running.

Use sophisticated data structures and functions rather than uncounted throwaway arrays or piping everything into and out of a massive state variable via jq!

Write neat elegant stanzas rather than two-hundred-character pipe-filled monstrosities

Focus on application logic and flow control rather than spending all your time mangling strings and escaping quotes!

So many institutions simply refuse to send any actual information via email — you have to log into their site to see what the heck they're talking about when they say "you have a new message" or "monthly statement available".

Amazon is a particularly notable offender here. When you make a purchase — they don't even email you a _list of the items you just ordered_. This, I believe, is because they're mad at leaking business intelligence to whichever "organize my inbox" companies people use. Tough deal, Amazon; suck it up.

His judgement later turned out to be completely correct: the warning was a false alert caused by an unusual reflection of sunlight off high-altitude clouds.

By declining to report an apparent US launch of five missiles, he likely prevented an overzealous Soviet "counterattack" which would have destroyed Europe and started a global nuclear war.

Just show me the actual information you notionally want me to pass along to my system administrator! It's okay, they're on the other line, I'll just check with them directly. Don't worry about it, they have a proper Unix beard and/or cat-ears and programmer socks.