Speaker Johnson, Republicans are in the majority of the Senate and House, right?

Johnson: Yes

And the President is one, right?

Johnson: Proudly so, yes.

And SCOTUS is conservative dominated?

Johnson: Yppers.

So, that means y'all are in charge of the government, right?

Johnson:

Trump tearing down 1/3 of the White House to build a grand, opulent ball room while troops and federal employees line up at food banks has real Nero playing his violin while Rome burns vibes.

I get paid and Huntington Bank's MoneyScout tool is immediately like:

What's weird is I never remember anyone having a problem when I told them I preferred being called "Chris" instead of "Christopher" in school all throughout the 80s and 90s and I have the same experience to this day but apparently that would get a teacher fired now.

#GeneralMills Executive: Hear me out...

I got inspired last night and today made a Risotto Carbonara.

Here is the story of how I met Gene Hackman. #GeneHackman #RIP

Me when #Trump indicated he wanted to kill the #penny.

Judge: I am putting a temporary halt to #DOGE 's access to #TreasuryDepartment files pending a hearing to see if the government is following the laws and procedures laid out by #Congress for access to that information.

The #Trump Administration:

Do I have kids? No.

Am I 40? Yes.

Did I just spend time attempting to make grilled cheese uncrustables? Also, yes.

Lunches for this next week set: Fasolka po bretońsku.

How Santa pays the bills in the off season.

The Help Desk guys in my office decorated for the holidays and they put this up. "Mount Crumpit" is pointed to the stairs and my office is the first one at the top of those stairs. I'm feeling judged.

Saw this the other night at a stop light so it's time for everyone's favorite game: fighting or making love?

Lunches for this short work week set: Gombapaprikás with lightly pan fried Gnocchi. #mealprep #hungarian

Gondor calls for antibiotics. #LOTR

Let's see who you really are!

They call themselves "Smart Water" but then fill the bottle to the brim so I look stupid spilling water while opening it.