MANY PEOPLE, GREAT PEOPLE, THE BEST PEOPLE, ARE SAYING THAT I'M THE STRONGEST LEADER SINCE THE FRENCH MONARCHY! VERY STRONG MONARCHY WHO DIDN'T HAVE CORRUPT JUDGES OVERSTEPPING THEIR AUTHORITY!

NO VERY BAD DOLLS, BUT CAKE FOR EVERYONE!

I'VE DECIDED TO BE THE NEW POPE, FOLKS! VERY STRONG APPOINTMENT! GREAT NEWS FOR THE CATHOLICS, BAD NEWS FOR THE ATHEISTS AND CHRISTIANITY HATERS AND LOSERS! ONLY I CAN SAVE CATHOLICISM FROM BAD HOMBRE PRIESTS AND COMMUNIST CHARITY WORK!

The Golf of Mexico they call it, folks. Very bad name for a Golf. We have a Golf off our coast, some say on the south coast, I don't know where it is. Nobody knows. Many people say I'm the best at Golf, maybe ever. We're going to drop the XICO, very bad XICO, and rename it THE GOLF OF ME!

Big men in checked shirts. I call them LUMBERJACKS! No-one had ever said LUMBERJACKS, I was the first to say LUMBERJACKS! And they have the axes, big axes. Very strong in terms of axes. And they play the HACKEY, the great sport of HACKEY, with the moose. HEIDI CRUZ, I call the moose. She's a 2.

With a happy wave
And a cheeky smile
Matt Gaetz is
A pedophile

I'm going to do a drug ad to declare how bad the drugs are. No-one's ever done an ad telling people about how bad the drugs are. It's never been done, folks. No-one knew drugs are bad, and many people say, "We never knew drugs were bad, Sir! Thank you".

And Don Jr will head the campaign.

Heidi Cruz, HEIDI CRUZ I call her. Great name for a dog. I called HEIDI CRUZ a dog, so, so not a 10. I said to Ted, I call him TED, I said, "TED, your wife is a DOG" I call them DOGS. And Ted looked at me and said, "You're always so right, sir!"

That guys needs a punch in the face.

Melania, I call her MALANIA, MALANIA is such a beautiful woman. Used to be a 10, it's true, but then she got the surgery to look like a cat, cat's are terrific animals, but you wouldn't want to be married to one. I'm married to one, MALANIA, she looks like a cat. A cat that's a 3.

I mean, the woman's a 10. And she works with, have you seen them, those monsters. Very bad monsters. Many people say they're the scariest monsters, and they murder the people who, and these people are great people, and these monsters just come and they kill so many people.

"Is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning? It sounds interesting to me, so we'll see. But the whole concept of the light, the way it kills it in one minute. That's pretty powerful." ~ Donald J Trump

"We have it totally under control. It's one person coming in from China. It's going to be just fine." ~ Donald J Trump (2020)

“I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen, down on 7-Eleven, down at the World Trade Center, right after it came down” ~ Donald J Trump

"It's really cold outside, they are calling it a major freeze, weeks ahead of normal. Man, we could use a big fat dose of global warming!"

Meanwhile, in California.

“She does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
*open mouth kiss*