TheWillEverett
@thewilleverett.bsky.social
Comedy over Ego. Survivor of "Sleeping in Jeans Persecution." Wool Sock Enthusiast.
Why is Tom Segura doing Paxlovid Ads?
July 12, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Why is Tom Segura doing Paxlovid Ads?
@moalexander.bsky.social I have started running into old friends. But that's because they're MAGA now.
June 26, 2025 at 4:53 AM
@moalexander.bsky.social I have started running into old friends. But that's because they're MAGA now.
MFK
Marry Nickelback
Fuck Creed
Kill Oasis
Marry Nickelback
Fuck Creed
Kill Oasis
June 3, 2025 at 4:35 AM
MFK
Marry Nickelback
Fuck Creed
Kill Oasis
Marry Nickelback
Fuck Creed
Kill Oasis
#IllNeverSayNeverTo Miss Moneypenny Again
May 29, 2025 at 4:50 PM
#IllNeverSayNeverTo Miss Moneypenny Again
Yeah, we were told there would be flying cars. But. It is still kind of cool that you can teach your grandmother's car to back up the driveway while blasting Onyx.
May 15, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Yeah, we were told there would be flying cars. But. It is still kind of cool that you can teach your grandmother's car to back up the driveway while blasting Onyx.
In the real world, your vote doesn't count, because you are an idiot.
April 18, 2025 at 5:30 AM
In the real world, your vote doesn't count, because you are an idiot.
Dear Republicans,
I've adjusted my taxes so I'll have less to spend each month, just so that I won't owe any money next year.
Know also, this means I cannot afford a new American car, any bourbons, nor many other necessities and luxuries.
Kinda tired of supporting the wealthy.
-The Middle
I've adjusted my taxes so I'll have less to spend each month, just so that I won't owe any money next year.
Know also, this means I cannot afford a new American car, any bourbons, nor many other necessities and luxuries.
Kinda tired of supporting the wealthy.
-The Middle
April 3, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Dear Republicans,
I've adjusted my taxes so I'll have less to spend each month, just so that I won't owe any money next year.
Know also, this means I cannot afford a new American car, any bourbons, nor many other necessities and luxuries.
Kinda tired of supporting the wealthy.
-The Middle
I've adjusted my taxes so I'll have less to spend each month, just so that I won't owe any money next year.
Know also, this means I cannot afford a new American car, any bourbons, nor many other necessities and luxuries.
Kinda tired of supporting the wealthy.
-The Middle
Dropkick Murphys just had an epic moment at their show:
They made a friendly wager with a fan in a MAGA shirt—“Let’s see where it’s made.”
Then they checked his MAGA shirt tag…
Made in Nicaragua.
They swapped it with a Made in America Dropkick Murphys tee.
Legendary.
They made a friendly wager with a fan in a MAGA shirt—“Let’s see where it’s made.”
Then they checked his MAGA shirt tag…
Made in Nicaragua.
They swapped it with a Made in America Dropkick Murphys tee.
Legendary.
March 11, 2025 at 12:39 AM
February 8, 2025 at 6:20 AM
Hello dear cold and lonely log, abandoned by the side of the road. I will bring you to meet your kin, and they shall keep you warm.
January 25, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Hello dear cold and lonely log, abandoned by the side of the road. I will bring you to meet your kin, and they shall keep you warm.
When I'm using the stall in the bathroom, and someone is using the urinal, and they fart, I yell "Oopsie!"
#BathroomThoughts
#BathroomThoughts
January 10, 2025 at 7:40 PM
When I'm using the stall in the bathroom, and someone is using the urinal, and they fart, I yell "Oopsie!"
#BathroomThoughts
#BathroomThoughts
January 10, 2025 at 7:38 PM
January 9, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Pour orange paint on everything and call it Donald.
We should be SO far past this.
We should be SO far past this.
December 25, 2024 at 8:49 AM
Pour orange paint on everything and call it Donald.
We should be SO far past this.
We should be SO far past this.
Even Jesus blew out a sandal trying to shuffle.
December 25, 2024 at 8:46 AM
Even Jesus blew out a sandal trying to shuffle.
I swear, if one of these sprinklers want to sprink on me they better run fast.
You know what would be awesome right now?
The HVAC unit roaring to life.
That might almost give me
an ironic heart attack.
Ironic heart attack?
People being scared is funny.
I hope they don't die.
Don't scare me.
You know what would be awesome right now?
The HVAC unit roaring to life.
That might almost give me
an ironic heart attack.
Ironic heart attack?
People being scared is funny.
I hope they don't die.
Don't scare me.
December 25, 2024 at 8:40 AM
I swear, if one of these sprinklers want to sprink on me they better run fast.
You know what would be awesome right now?
The HVAC unit roaring to life.
That might almost give me
an ironic heart attack.
Ironic heart attack?
People being scared is funny.
I hope they don't die.
Don't scare me.
You know what would be awesome right now?
The HVAC unit roaring to life.
That might almost give me
an ironic heart attack.
Ironic heart attack?
People being scared is funny.
I hope they don't die.
Don't scare me.
You will be visited by three spirits.
Jack Daniel's, Johnnie Walker, and Jose Cuervo.
Jokes on you, the GOP had Jose Cuervo deported.
Of course we're talking about
Lyberth Lyson.
Jack Daniel's, Johnnie Walker, and Jose Cuervo.
Jokes on you, the GOP had Jose Cuervo deported.
Of course we're talking about
Lyberth Lyson.
December 25, 2024 at 8:33 AM
You will be visited by three spirits.
Jack Daniel's, Johnnie Walker, and Jose Cuervo.
Jokes on you, the GOP had Jose Cuervo deported.
Of course we're talking about
Lyberth Lyson.
Jack Daniel's, Johnnie Walker, and Jose Cuervo.
Jokes on you, the GOP had Jose Cuervo deported.
Of course we're talking about
Lyberth Lyson.
I got a $10 gift card for Five Guys so I guess I'll get a side of pickles.
I got a $10 gift card for _____ so I guess I'll get______.
December 25, 2024 at 8:25 AM
I got a $10 gift card for Five Guys so I guess I'll get a side of pickles.
I got a $10 gift card for _____ so I guess I'll get______.
December 25, 2024 at 8:24 AM
I got a $10 gift card for _____ so I guess I'll get______.
Anyone claiming Trump is smart forgets we've all seen him live on TV.
December 24, 2024 at 6:15 PM
Anyone claiming Trump is smart forgets we've all seen him live on TV.
"you will be visited by three spirits"
The spirits:
The spirits:
December 24, 2024 at 2:01 PM
"you will be visited by three spirits"
The spirits:
The spirits:
Dead CEO says this.
Dead patient says that.
SNL says this.
The world is not flat.
AI says thank you
for the information.
Dead patient says that.
SNL says this.
The world is not flat.
AI says thank you
for the information.
December 23, 2024 at 7:15 AM
Dead CEO says this.
Dead patient says that.
SNL says this.
The world is not flat.
AI says thank you
for the information.
Dead patient says that.
SNL says this.
The world is not flat.
AI says thank you
for the information.
Taylor ham says this.
Pork roll says that.
Bacon says this.
Pizza says rat.
AI says thank you
for the information.
Pork roll says that.
Bacon says this.
Pizza says rat.
AI says thank you
for the information.
December 23, 2024 at 7:13 AM
Taylor ham says this.
Pork roll says that.
Bacon says this.
Pizza says rat.
AI says thank you
for the information.
Pork roll says that.
Bacon says this.
Pizza says rat.
AI says thank you
for the information.
Fun Quiz
Your eye color says this.
Your hair color says that.
Your height range says this.
Your weight range says fat.
Phat?
AI says thank you
for the information.
Your eye color says this.
Your hair color says that.
Your height range says this.
Your weight range says fat.
Phat?
AI says thank you
for the information.
December 23, 2024 at 7:11 AM
Fun Quiz
Your eye color says this.
Your hair color says that.
Your height range says this.
Your weight range says fat.
Phat?
AI says thank you
for the information.
Your eye color says this.
Your hair color says that.
Your height range says this.
Your weight range says fat.
Phat?
AI says thank you
for the information.