Q. Why are late-shift workers at the feather pillow factory such funky Disco dancers?

A. Because they get down tonight.

I don't know why it took me until now to realize "Where's Waldo" is basically the same as a Hieronymus Bosch triptych. Just that there's less of the part where people are group-fucking a strawberry.

brian shrimp

I hate hot air balloons.

Me at fancy restaurant:

"Tsk-tsk look at all the assholes on their phones. Whatever happened to enjoying the moment and being present!? Shameful"

Me after looking at menu:

"WTF are all these words? Stracciatella?!?! Sorry for not speaking Italian."

/gets out phone so I can look up what food is

Since I've joined Bluesky here, I have discounted Facebook, and have become disillusioned with news sources I've once relied on (NYT, WAPO, etc).

At present, my entire worldview is shaped almost entirely by Karl Olson reposts.

Anyone else always mix up those two bands: the WURZELS and the WIGGLES. Because the names are similar. The Wiggles are beloved children's entertainers who bring joy to the world's youth. The Wurzels are alcoholic farmers who fuck their tractors. The Wurzels are way better. Obviously.

The problem with those "baby on board" signs in the back window of cars is: is the baby REALLY on board? Like really, right now, at this very moment? They should be flip signs like the open/closed signs shops have. And you should only be allowed to display "baby on board" when it's true. [cont...]

The problem with inflation is you're watching old episodes of Antiques Roadshow and it really throws off your appraisals when you are trying to guess.

I'm really not okay with seeing Youtubers holding up clip-on microphones and using them like hand-helds. I get it, if you were, generally, using lav's as a thing but then a situation arose to where you needed to hold it.

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