The Shovel
@theshovel.bsky.social
News you can believe in.
Read more at theshovel.com.au
Read more at theshovel.com.au
Amyl & The Sniffers Should’ve Labelled Gig a Nazi Rally if They Wanted It To Go Ahead, Police Say
Amyl & The Sniffers Should’ve Labelled Gig a Nazi Rally if They Wanted It To Go Ahead, Police Say — The Shovel
Police say they were left with no choice but to shut it down after it became apparent the event was a legally ambiguous ‘music performance’ rather than the more protected category ‘full-blown extremis...
theshovel.com.au
November 15, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Amyl & The Sniffers Should’ve Labelled Gig a Nazi Rally if They Wanted It To Go Ahead, Police Say
Sussan Ley Says Party Is Totally Committed to Paris Framework for Achieving Net Zero, Except for the Bit About Achieving Net Zero
Sussan Ley Says Party Is Totally Committed to Paris Framework for Achieving Net Zero, Except for the Bit About Achieving Net Zero — The Shovel
“We will embrace the spirit of emissions reduction while avoiding the unnecessary burden of reducing emissions”.
theshovel.com.au
November 14, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Sussan Ley Says Party Is Totally Committed to Paris Framework for Achieving Net Zero, Except for the Bit About Achieving Net Zero
Trump Asks Staff for List of Potential Countries To Bomb To Distract From Epstein Emails
Trump Asks Staff for List of Potential Countries To Bomb To Distract From Epstein Emails — The Shovel
President Donald Trump has immediately initiated standard distraction protocols, after new emails were released tying him to Jeffry Epstein.
theshovel.com.au
November 12, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Trump Asks Staff for List of Potential Countries To Bomb To Distract From Epstein Emails
Our Donald Trump Christmas card is back!
This is a tremendous Christmas card. Very beautiful.
Many, many people are saying it. We're getting a lot of good reports about it.
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This is a tremendous Christmas card. Very beautiful.
Many, many people are saying it. We're getting a lot of good reports about it.
Get one here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/trump-card
November 12, 2025 at 6:56 AM
Our Donald Trump Christmas card is back!
This is a tremendous Christmas card. Very beautiful.
Many, many people are saying it. We're getting a lot of good reports about it.
Get one here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/trump-card
This is a tremendous Christmas card. Very beautiful.
Many, many people are saying it. We're getting a lot of good reports about it.
Get one here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/trump-card
“People have told us they want consistency in umpiring, stable rules, and less Americanisation. So naturally, we’ve introduced a round where your team’s full forward might be dressed as a rabbit singing Ariana Grande”
AFL Introduces New ‘Masked Singer Round’ — The Shovel
“People have told us they want consistency in umpiring, stable rules, and less Americanisation. So naturally, we’ve introduced a round where a centre half forward might be dressed as Ariana Grande,” h...
theshovel.com.au
November 11, 2025 at 3:43 AM
“People have told us they want consistency in umpiring, stable rules, and less Americanisation. So naturally, we’ve introduced a round where your team’s full forward might be dressed as a rabbit singing Ariana Grande”
"One of the principles that I’ve always adhered to is, if something’s working, it’s time to change it”.
Wildcard Round Result of Listening to Fans Who Want Less Gimmicks and Rule Changes, AFL Says — The Shovel
"One of the principles I’ve always adhered to is, if something’s working, it’s time to change it”
theshovel.com.au
November 10, 2025 at 10:39 PM
"One of the principles that I’ve always adhered to is, if something’s working, it’s time to change it”.
New product just dropped ...
Sussan Ley Approved Iron-On T-Shirt Transfer
Sussan Ley has strong opinions about what constitutes an appropriate t-shirt. Avoid being hassled from the Opposition Leader with this pre-approved...
theshovel.bigcartel.com
November 10, 2025 at 1:30 AM
New product just dropped ...
A group of men gathered outside of the NSW Parliament in Sydney yesterday to call for the inclusion of erectile dysfunction medication on the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme.
Neo Nazis Rally Outside NSW Parliament Demanding Affordable Erectile Dysfunction Treatment — The Shovel
“It’s time to rise up!” one man shouted over a megaphone before adding, “But it’s very, very difficult, given the price of prescriptions these days!”
theshovel.com.au
November 9, 2025 at 11:16 PM
A group of men gathered outside of the NSW Parliament in Sydney yesterday to call for the inclusion of erectile dysfunction medication on the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme.
“It’s all I really want, I'm begging you, please accept this deal. Just laugh at my jokes and say in public that I’m a really cool guy and I won’t ask for a cent, I promise".
theshovel.com.au/2025/11/09/e...
theshovel.com.au/2025/11/09/e...
Elon Musk Willing To Forgo $1 Trillion Pay Deal if Shareholders Tell Him They Think He Is Cool — The Shovel
CEO Elon Musk has told Tesla shareholders that they can either sign off on a $1 trillion pay packet or agree to say in public that he is a funny, cool guy.
theshovel.com.au
November 9, 2025 at 9:17 PM
“It’s all I really want, I'm begging you, please accept this deal. Just laugh at my jokes and say in public that I’m a really cool guy and I won’t ask for a cent, I promise".
theshovel.com.au/2025/11/09/e...
theshovel.com.au/2025/11/09/e...
“What we need is a sensible, modern approach to energy policy and hunting whales and killing them for their oil is exactly that"
Nationals To Resurrect Australian Whaling Industry As Part Of Exciting New Energy Policy — The Shovel
“What we need is a sensible, modern approach to energy policy and hunting whales and killing them for their oil is exactly that"
theshovel.com.au
November 5, 2025 at 10:05 PM
“What we need is a sensible, modern approach to energy policy and hunting whales and killing them for their oil is exactly that"
“I want forty op-eds belittling Mamdani on my desk by 5pm!”
News Corp Calls for “All-Hands-on-Deck” After Young Muslim Man Elected New York Mayor — The Shovel
“I want forty op-eds belittling Mamdani on my desk by 5pm!"
theshovel.com.au
November 5, 2025 at 6:54 AM
“I want forty op-eds belittling Mamdani on my desk by 5pm!”
Our Susssan Ley Christmas cards have just dropped!
Get yourss here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/sussan-ley-card
Get yourss here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/sussan-ley-card
November 5, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Our Susssan Ley Christmas cards have just dropped!
Get yourss here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/sussan-ley-card
Get yourss here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/sussan-ley-card
Electricians Prepare for Bumper 2026 As ‘3 Hours of Free Power’ Policy To Inevitably Lead to Australians Running Every Single Appliance at Once
Electricians Prepare for Bumper 2026 As ‘3 Hours of Free Power’ Policy To Inevitably Lead to Australians Running Every Single Appliance at Once — The Shovel
“I’ve already doubled my hourly rate and booked in my European holiday for next year"
theshovel.com.au
November 4, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Electricians Prepare for Bumper 2026 As ‘3 Hours of Free Power’ Policy To Inevitably Lead to Australians Running Every Single Appliance at Once
Thousands of freshly spray-tanned punters have descended on Flemington with an unspoken yet universally understood goal of getting absolutely, unapologetically Barnaby-ed.
Dolled-Up Bogans Descend on Racetrack With Singular Goal of Getting Barnaby-Ed — The Shovel
“You’re not here to back winners. You’re here to lose your phone, ruin your dress, and fall asleep next to a discarded KFC box. That’s the real spirit of the races".
theshovel.com.au
November 3, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Thousands of freshly spray-tanned punters have descended on Flemington with an unspoken yet universally understood goal of getting absolutely, unapologetically Barnaby-ed.
The National Party has agreed unanimously to re-commit to its target of making the Liberal Party completely unelectable by 2050, saying it will continue to put forward ridiculous climate policies until every urban Coalition seat is lost.
Nationals Commit to Liberals Achieving Net Zero Seats by 2050 — The Shovel
"If we continue to take into consideration what Australians want done on climate, and then do the exact opposite of that, we can get a lot of those suburban seats changing hands pretty quickly"
theshovel.com.au
November 2, 2025 at 9:36 PM
The National Party has agreed unanimously to re-commit to its target of making the Liberal Party completely unelectable by 2050, saying it will continue to put forward ridiculous climate policies until every urban Coalition seat is lost.
ADORABLE!
This Kid Is Dressing Up as a Coal Industry Lobbyist This Halloween in the Hope of Scoring More Handouts
This Kid Is Dressing Up as a Coal Industry Lobbyist This Halloween in the Hope of Scoring More Handouts
This Kid Is Dressing Up as a Coal Industry Lobbyist This Halloween in the Hope of Scoring More Handouts — The Shovel
“I just said ‘Hello I’m from the mining industry, give me all your money or I’ll run a national advertising campaign to bring down the government,’ and the treats just flowed”.
theshovel.com.au
October 31, 2025 at 3:06 AM
ADORABLE!
This Kid Is Dressing Up as a Coal Industry Lobbyist This Halloween in the Hope of Scoring More Handouts
This Kid Is Dressing Up as a Coal Industry Lobbyist This Halloween in the Hope of Scoring More Handouts
"He has lived in the property under a long-term public housing arrangement with the Crown Estate, a Government body that provides affordable accommodation to unemployed Britons"
Man Evicted From Public Housing — The Shovel
The man has lived in the property for more than 20 years under a long-term public housing arrangement with the Crown Estate, a Government body that provides affordable accommodation to unemployed Brit...
theshovel.com.au
October 30, 2025 at 11:15 PM
"He has lived in the property under a long-term public housing arrangement with the Crown Estate, a Government body that provides affordable accommodation to unemployed Britons"
Palace officials confirmed the change late on Thursday, saying it reflects “His Ex-Highness’s ongoing commitment to reinventing himself as a man of absolutely no accountability and ridiculous excuses”
Andrew To Use New Title: “Bullshit Artist Formally Known As Prince” — The Shovel
"It reflects His Ex-Highness’s ongoing commitment to reinventing himself as a man of absolutely no accountability and ridiculous excuses”.
theshovel.com.au
October 30, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Palace officials confirmed the change late on Thursday, saying it reflects “His Ex-Highness’s ongoing commitment to reinventing himself as a man of absolutely no accountability and ridiculous excuses”
Coalition MPs called for an urgent inquiry into whether the Prime Minister’s teenage music choices constitute a national security threat.
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/30/p...
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/30/p...
"PM Advocating Political Violence", Sussan Ley Claims, After 1986 Photo Shows Albo in Dead Kennedys T-Shirt — The Shovel
Liberal leader Sussan Ley has accused the Prime Minister of “effectively endorsing violence and anarchism” after a recently unearthed 1986 photograph revealed a 23-year-old Albanese wearing a Dead Ken...
theshovel.com.au
October 29, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Coalition MPs called for an urgent inquiry into whether the Prime Minister’s teenage music choices constitute a national security threat.
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/30/p...
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/30/p...
Jamaica is set for blue skies and a light south-westerly breeze with an estimated top of twenty-five, Australia’s new Bureau of Meteorology website says.
Jamaica 25 Degrees and Sunny, According to New BOM Website — The Shovel
Jamaica is set for blue skies and a light south-westerly breeze with an estimated top of twenty-five, Australia’s new Bureau of Meteorology website says.
theshovel.com.au
October 29, 2025 at 7:51 AM
Jamaica is set for blue skies and a light south-westerly breeze with an estimated top of twenty-five, Australia’s new Bureau of Meteorology website says.
Sussan Ley, whose modified name happens to contain the same letter combination as Hitler’s police force, has tried to make the tenuous case that the Prime Minister wearing a Joy Division t-shirt is antisemitic.
Woman Who Changed Name To Contain ‘SS’ Mock-Rages That Albo’s T-Shirt Is Antisemitic — The Shovel
Sussan Ley, who added an extra S to her name thereby inadvertently recreating the name of one of the most feared Nazi organisations, has tried to make the tenuous case that the Prime Minister wearing ...
theshovel.com.au
October 28, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Sussan Ley, whose modified name happens to contain the same letter combination as Hitler’s police force, has tried to make the tenuous case that the Prime Minister wearing a Joy Division t-shirt is antisemitic.
Additional advice noted that whales tend to exist in deep water, whereas this particular specimen is incredibly shallow.
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/28/j...
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/28/j...
Japanese PM Tells Whalers Not to Harpoon Large Blubbery Specimen Currently Visiting Tokyo — The Shovel
"The oversized blowhole that drifted into Japanese territory today is actually the American president"
theshovel.com.au
October 28, 2025 at 3:38 AM
Additional advice noted that whales tend to exist in deep water, whereas this particular specimen is incredibly shallow.
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/28/j...
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/28/j...
Read more:
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/28/t...
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/28/t...
October 27, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Read more:
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/28/t...
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/28/t...
“I simply asked what this 40,000 square foot basement area with a secret entrance and a ‘Prince Andrew Commemorative Massage Parlour’ was all about, and I immediately had my security clearance revoked,” the contractor said.
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/27/c...
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/27/c...
Contractor Sacked After Querying ‘Underage Sex Slave Dungeon’ on White House Ballroom Plans — The Shovel
"I'm all for increasing the size of the White House, but I was just curious about why there was an underground network of tunnels on the plans labelled 'Melania Not Allowed In Here'.
theshovel.com.au
October 27, 2025 at 6:59 AM
“I simply asked what this 40,000 square foot basement area with a secret entrance and a ‘Prince Andrew Commemorative Massage Parlour’ was all about, and I immediately had my security clearance revoked,” the contractor said.
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/27/c...
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/27/c...
“I read that Andrew’s arrangement was a ‘peppercorn lease. So I thought, why not? My landlord can chuck them on his steak or something. Everyone wins,” the renter said, measuring out 200 grams of black pepper into a Coles reusable bag.
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/27/l...
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/27/l...
Local Renter Follows Prince Andrew’s Lead and Pays This Month's Rent With Peppercorns — The Shovel
"My landlord can chuck them on his steak or something. Everyone wins"
theshovel.com.au
October 26, 2025 at 11:04 PM
“I read that Andrew’s arrangement was a ‘peppercorn lease. So I thought, why not? My landlord can chuck them on his steak or something. Everyone wins,” the renter said, measuring out 200 grams of black pepper into a Coles reusable bag.
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/27/l...
theshovel.com.au/2025/10/27/l...